How do I handle a spiteful sister? She is on a power trip that is hurting my family and my mom.?

Question

There is a lot of history between my sister and I. Suffice it to say that we don't like the other and I am fine with this.
I have ALWAYS put these issues aside when a family crisis has occured. We have not spoken in over two years during which I have tried twice to be there for her and was hung up on.On Sunday she took our mother to the ER and left a message with no other info. I went to the hospital (40 mile drive), got in the room and she did not say one word to me about what was going on. She is a nurse and has the medical power of attorney for mom. Since then, she has not called my family to tell us how she is. Today I found out through a friend that she has put her in a home. We don't live near by and I've no way of finding anything out except through her. We are scared about my mom and I am PISSED at my sister for her behavior. Am I wrong to expect some maturity on her part? She has also let my mom know that she is not talking to us which can't be helping my mom's health.

Answer 1

medical power of attorny does NOT give her full legal rights to your mom... you and siblings do have the power to stand up to her... you can call the home or visit or ask for written reports from the home... the only power those papers give your sister is the CALL of the kind of medical care your mom recieves.. if you do not stand up to her and barge into the home and demand info YOU are letting her get by with more than she is supposed to... take a deep breath and make a plane.. if you have other siblings get them all together along with other family members, and work together on this... YOU have the RIGHT to KNOW !!!!!!! God bless

Answer 2

Sounds like your sister stands to gain a lot when your mother is gone. Unless your mom has wanted it handled like this from the beginning. No I don't believe this is doing your mom any good at all, unless she knows what is going on and approves of it. I honestly believe your mom still has enough of her mind left to put a stop to this nastiness if she wanted to. No where in your question did you mention that your mom could not fend for herself mentally.

No i think your sister is being very immature. Never should any family member be left out of anything that has to do with another family member. Unless your mom requested it. You said she also let your mom know what is going on. Next time you visit your mom ask her about it. Hopefully you can make yourself and your mom feel better in the long run.

Answer 3

If I was you I would go to her house and have a long talk with her. Tell her it's time she grows up and stops acting like an idiot (in a nicer way). Tell her to at least do it for your mother. If that doesn't work maybe you should fight her in court to take over power of attorney of your mom. Just don't be childish like she is being. If your not interesting in trying to gain POA over your mother then the only other thing I could suggest is for you to call your sister often and ask how your mother is doing, tough if your sister doesn't like it. It's your mother too and you have a right to know.

I wish you the best!

Answer 4

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