I have have a son that is 21months and his father wants to be in his life but, 1st thing he punched me in the stomache while i was pregnent and caused me to have him prematurely 2end After becomming pregnent and all this happens I found out his daughter was to his sister (he admitted it ) and he was ordered not to see her but he does, they where ordered not to tell her but they did .I feel like My son didn't ask to be put in a sisuation and the world today is already cruel and he shouldn't have to go through this too, and As I seen it and the assalt charges came out the judge and Dr's agree that he could have killed my son or gave him brain damage, luckily he's fine, he had heart problems and breathing problems when he came but after a yr of consent worry and attition he's fine Thank God.What do you think though I grew up without my dad around and it hurt , but not anything like this.
2007-01-05 17:10:22 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
My natural father did the same thing to my mom when she was pregnant with me, but she was so young she couldn't go on her own and she put up with him for 4 or 5 years before she was able to get away from him. We were very glad when he was gone, I can tell you - he was scary - but it is seeing that person, as awful as he was, that kept me from finding the same kind of man myself. We are the sum total of our experiences, good and bad.
You can protect him to some extent, but he will likely one day ask questions. I have a younger sister who didn't remember our natural father and she grew up feeling like she needed to know him and that she was getting a warped picture from my mom. She even ran away to live with him - until he beat her up as a young woman / teen. You can't protect them forever.
Peace!
2007-01-05 17:22:53 · answer #1 · answered by carole 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your son does not need a father like this. Don't feel guilty for protecting your son! he already once tried to kill you both aparently... or at least hurt you and kill your unborn child. And look at the result! Constant worry- do you want this constant worry if you allow the son to be around his father? Don't do that to yourself. The judge and dr. agreed he could have done major damage! Keep him away! Lord knows what else he could do in the long run! You sound like a good Mom, be there for your son always. My mom and I don't have the greatest relationship, and sometimes it feels like she's never there... so I know the feeling at times. But I do have a very loving Dad I can go to anytime. (my parents are divorced)... anyways, I resent my Mom a little for things she's done... and yes it is tough sometimes. But now, I live for my own son and family. I try to do differently, and make my son very happy and so he feels loved. I'm sure your son will grow to learn to be a good person and will want to be a Dad to his children unlike his father who is a terrible one. And who knows, you might find someone new some day who will be a great role model for your son- not a replacement, but someone he just might come to love greatly!
Goodluck, and keep that man away from your son.
2007-01-05 17:29:25 · answer #2 · answered by m930 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are u kidding me??? Please, get away from this guy. I am sorry you had a child with him and I am sorry what he did to you. I don't know your whole situation, but if this guy is capable of doing that...who knows what else! Sometimes, just because a couple has a child together doesn't mean they are meant to be together, nor are they meant to be stable parents. However, it's about your son now...and what is best for him...and if that means giving him a wonderful childhood without violence or abuse then I hope you make the right decision. You growing up without a father must have hurt you, but was your father violent?? What the father of your child did was a horrible act, and there is no excuse. He should be put away for it. You need to consider everything at hand and go from there...Good luck to you and I wish you the best.
2007-01-05 17:26:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, I grew up knowing my dad but he wasn't involved in my life AT ALL. He isn't a bad person or anything but was and still isn't ready to be a father (and I'm 18). I would ask a judge to give you a restraining order for you and your son. I mean he wants to be a dad now? He tried to kill your son before he was even born. That doesn't show good father material. Plus he had a kid, with his sister? So by what your telling me is his dad is psychical abusive and had a child of incest, and your feeling gulity because you don't want him in your son's life? You are doing the right thing. Sometimes, even though it's not the best thing, it's better to grow up without a father like that. Sometimes when we grow up without a father we imagine what it would be like and it's not always realistic.
2007-01-05 17:23:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should allow your son's father to see him. My daughter's dad was also abusive; he kicked me in the back when I was pregnant and I fell on my stomach (that was the worst incident). I do not allow him to see her nor will I ever. Kids are fine w/ one parent. Maybe if you meet a nice guy, he can be your son's father. For now, your son is better off not being around an abuser. Imagine how much it would hurt your son to get punched like you did, not the emotional hurt of not having a father in the picture.
2007-01-05 20:43:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me first ask you this. If a man could punch you in the stomach while you were pregnant with his child, what would stop him from seriously injuring your son. To me, he is a sperm-donor and should not be allowed near your son. I would honestly get a court order that he not be near him. Find a guy who loves you and your son as his own and he will have enough male guidance in his life without you having to worry if his sperm donor is being inappropriate or violent towards him. I have 2 step sisters who both call my dad, dad not because he is their true dad but because he was there for them just like a dad. Good Luck but please for the sake of your son do not let him near that baby!!!
2007-01-05 17:18:34 · answer #6 · answered by jule9104 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost is your safety and your child's safety, always remember that. It sounds as if there is some stability concerns. If you feel that he would possibly be a danger to your son by all means keep him away from your child. The other thing to consider is that if you introduce your son to his father and then have to stop the visiations it might be very difficut for your son.
If you think that this man is going to make life a living hell, then I would say meditate on it.
2007-01-05 17:39:48 · answer #7 · answered by kate m 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is an infection, a bloced milk duct or he would have stepped forward some undesirable conduct. as quickly as my son began to teeth, he began to chew slightly on my nipples and my total breast injury. It would not injury to work out your well being care expert, interior the imply time, cooling gel pads would help. i understand it hurts, yet sticking with the feeds will help sparkling out any an infection, and unblock any ducts that's the muse of the undertaking. merely take some discomfort meds top earlier afeed to ease the discomfort as much as conceivable afterwards.
2016-10-06 12:39:32 · answer #8 · answered by duchane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is something that you seriously need to sit down and think about you need to pray and ask god for strength and guidance but if you don't let your son see him cause you feel he may be a threat to you or your kids then don't let him see them cause he could do something to your kids to get back at you at just do something to hurt you I'm not trying to scare you but this is your life and you see these things happen all the time and most of the time they don't turn out so good but like i said before this is something that your going to have to think long and hard about GOOD LUCK & GOD BLESS sometimes people try to d the right thing for the wrong reason but there would be nothing wrong w/you raising him by yourself your not the first and you won't be the last
2007-01-05 17:23:26 · answer #9 · answered by crissymo7484 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My kids have no Dad and they do fine. Sounds like your son would be better off. A guy who has a daughter to his sister doesn't sound like someone who makes good judgments. Stay away
2007-01-05 20:16:31 · answer #10 · answered by Rachel 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋