Can a person who is a seventh day adventist date ane marry a person who is a non adventist?

Question

I have a friend who is a seventh day adventist and we are considering dating each other. i am asking the question so this way i can make a final decision on whether i want to develop a relationship with this person or keep it as a friendship

Answer 1

I would advise you to discuss the matter with the person that you are considering dating.

Adventists can and do date and marry anyone they like, but they can only have the wedding ceremony done by an Adventist pastor if both people are Adventists. If they want to marry a non-Adventist then they have the wedding in a non-Adventist church or at the civil registry. This is not really a big deal though.

As for peer-pressure from his church on him, well that depends on his local church but in all the Adventist churches i have been in i have never seen them be less friendly to any Adventist just because he married a non-Adventist. They may advise him against it, but they most likely will accept his decision, and they will be friendly to the non-Adventist spouse.

On Pages 182-183 of the 2005 edition of the Seventh-day Adventist church manual (available as a PDF from
http://www.adventist.org/beliefs/church_manual/Seventh-day-Adventist-Church-Manual-17th-edition.pdf
) it says:

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The Scriptures counsel, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers” (2 Cor. 6:14). Differences regarding religion are likely to mar the happiness of a home where partners hold different beliefs, and lead to confusion, perplexity, and failure in the rearing of children.

“The family tie is the closest, the most tender and sacred, of any on earth. It was designed to be a blessing to mankind. And it is a blessing wherever the marriage covenant is entered into intelligently, in the fear of God, and with due consideration for its responsibilities.”—The Adventist Home, p. 18.

Worship of God, Sabbathkeeping, recreation, association, use of financial resources, and training of children are responsible components of happy family relationships. Because differences in these areas can often lead to a deterioration of these relationships, to discouragement, and even to a complete loss of Christian experience, an adequate preparation for marriage should include premarital pastoral counseling in these areas.

“ ‘Can two walk together, except they be agreed?’ (Amos 3:3). The happiness and prosperity of the marriage relation depends upon the unity of the parties; but between the believer and the unbeliever there is a radical difference of tastes, inclinations, and purposes. They are serving two masters, between whom there can be no concord. However pure and correct one’s principles may be, the influence of an unbelieving companion will have a tendency to lead away from God.”—Patriarchs and Prophets, p. 174.

The Spirit of Prophecy consistently counsels against marriage between “the believer and the unbeliever” and further cautions against uniting with fellow Christians who have “not accepted the truth for this time.”—Testimonies, vol. 5, p. 364. Marriages are more likely to endure, and family life to fulfill the divine plan, if husband and wife are united and are bound together by common spiritual values and lifestyles. For these reasons, the Seventh-day Adventist Church strongly discourages marriage between a Seventh-day Adventist and a non-Seventh-day Adventist, and strongly urges Seventh-day Adventist ministers not to perform such weddings.

The church recognizes that it is the prerogative of the individual to make the final decision relative to the choice of a marriage partner. However, it is the hope of the church that, if the member chooses a marriage partner who is not a member of the church, the couple will realize and appreciate that the Seventh-day Adventist minister, who has covenanted to uphold the principles outlined above, should not be expected to perform such a marriage. If an individual does enter into such a marriage, the church is to demonstrate love and concern with the purpose of encouraging the couple toward complete unity in Christ.
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For more general info on he Adventist teaching on marriage see:
http://www.sdanet.org/atissue/books/27/27-22.htm


I know of several Adventists who have married non-Adventists, including Catholics, a Hindu, and non-religious people. With some of the couples, the non-Adventist goes to church with the Adventist on Saturday and sometimes becomes a de-facto Adventist too or even converts to Adventism. In other cases the non-Adventist doesn't go to church. As for their children, some attend church and become Adventists, and others do not, but this is also the case with couples where both are Adventists.

Adventists have dietary laws like not eating pork or fish without scales, and not smoking or drinking alcohol, but such things are not really a problem.

The main potential source of religious friction in a mixed marriage with an Adventist is, i think, over keeping Sabbath. The Adventist may want the kids to skip school on Saturdays or even to miss exams that fall on Saturdays or Friday nights, and the Adventist may lose his job because he refuses to work on Saturday, thus placing financial strain on the family. Situations like that can cause tension in the marriage.

How about your own faith? Personally, i think you should look for a marriage partner that you can share your spirituality with. If you are a committed Christian, then chances are that you will have a lot in common with the Adventist in terms of your faith and beliefs (though you should note that there is a spectrum of religiosity within Adventism as with other churches, you have legalistic Adventists, conservative Adventists, liberal Adventists; serious Adventist and nominal Adventists). If you come from a non-Christian religion or a non-religious background, well, i guess you will have to see how much you have in common in terms of your values and morals and priorities in life.

Answer 2

I used to be a Seventh Day Adventist and I mostly dated non-Seventh Day Adventists, even a Muslim. My mother is an Adventist but my father isn't. According to the Bible, believers shouldn't "yoke" with non-believers, so it all depends how strict they are. It isn't a law, this person is still entitled to freedom of choice and shouldn't be pressured by anyone within their church to not date/marry you. You would both need to be equally accepting of each others' beliefs and/or non-beliefs. I warn you though, a Seventh Day Adventist that dates a non-Adventist would be assuming that they would be able to convert you, most likely! You would also have to consider how children would be raised, would you be prepared to allow your children to go to church?

Answer 3

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Answer 4

IN general it is not a good idea. SDA's have some specific beliefs that will cause friction in the future if your friend adheres to the SDA religion; and she will probably suffer considerable guilt and/or peer pressure from her fellow SDA's if he/ she does not.

While being an SDA is certainly not the worst fate in the world being married to one and not choosing to be one certainly might be for him/her as well as you.

In short if you do not choose to adhere to the SDA beliefs and support your friend in doing so you will only cause misery for him/her and perhaps yourself if you are not a horny selfish ---- yourself.

Join the church or leave him/her alone.

Answer 5

Can?: Yes
Should?: No
If one of you is willing to convert to the other's church, then it can work, but keeping things separate would be a strain, mainly when it comes to what you will teach your children.

Answer 6

It depends on his/ her understanding of the person about SDA faith.
Go and check it from the adventist websit, under the "definition of Marriage"

Answer 7

2

Answer 8

1

Answer 9

Seventh Day Adventist Dating

Answer 10

Hmmm .... how would you feel about having a relationship with someone who takes the six day creation story literally?