How do you calm down?

Question

In other words, I'm pretty uptight and judgmental most of the time. I've been aware of the problem and have been working on it. Mainly, I believe I am responsible for my behavior but also I believe I am this way because my step-dad is very violent and cannot control his anger. Therefore, I judge him and others. Plus, I'm uptight because I'm been burned so many times by my natural dad and my step-dad...I just don't want to get hurt again by anyone...I'm moving out this summer on my own to be near college and don't know too many people...hopefully I'll loosen up and start fresh. So, my question is how do you become "easy going"? Sorry if its a stupid question.

Answer 1

this is what i do when im usually stressed i have 5 step!!! if you follow this directions i'm sure you'll be EASY GOING!!!!!!

-watch while drinking HOT COCO!!!!!!
-listen to MUSIC while relaxing on the sofa/bed etc.
-sit outside on your porch and relax and breathe all the beautiful air and clear your mind!
-DANCE BY URSELF OR CALL FRIENDS TO DANCE WITH YOU AND HAVE LIKE THIS LITTLE GATHERING/PARTY ETC.
-TAKE A NICE LONG BUBBLE BATH WITH BUBBLES,CANDLES,RELAXING MUSIC, AND JUST RELAX { IT REALLY SCRUBS ALL YOUR TROUBLES AWAY!!!!!!!
{ you can also do yoga if you want!!!!! that also HELP!!!!!}

GOOD LUCK!!!!

HOPE I'VE BEEN A GREAT HELP!!!!!!!!

BYE!!!!!!!

Answer 2

Hey there: Sometimes it is hard to calm down and you are way overloaded right now. I do feel when you leave home things will get better for you. However, you need to address the issues of a bad dad and step-dad, the sooner the better. Not all men are like them and you (without even realizing it) may generalize most men to be like them and perhaps lose out on a good one. A good male role model is important for women. I am in my 50's now and just about all my friends who have had problems with men had absent or poor dads. You do not have to become a victim this though. There is a lot more insight to this problem than when they were young.

First your "dads" are probably acting the way they do because that is how they were treated. It is a vicious cycle. You can break the chain though and marry someone who is a good role model for your children.. but that is in the future.

For now you should try spiritual reading, therapy, talking to clergy or something of the like. You do not want to carry this into your life. Addressing these issues with your step-dad and dad will in turn make you calm down. You have to learn how not to give them the power to upset you so much. I know easier said than done but it can be done. My mom was difficult to deal with but she is elderly now and has mellowed out. She is so sorry for her angry outbursts. I think at times she feels worse than I. Her father was very violent and that is how she learned to be so angry. Just realize that being upset does no one any good and that you must take care of yourself. Do not give them any more of your feeling bad in your life than you already have.

The counselors and/or the books you can read will give you techniques on controlling the time you do feel uptight. Experiment on what works for you. Not everyone responds to the same techniques. And these techniques may change over time so just keep trying new ones if they stop working.

I was there when I was young and have controlled it to the point where I am not very uptight at all or at least control it most of the time. Also, I vowed never to take my anger out on my children and I never did. That makes me happy. Think long term. Stay away from violent or bad-tempered men. You will think it is natural to be with them because that is how you grew up. I married a very good natured man- for a reason- as I knew it was what I needed. So that was a bonus I might not have had if i did not know the other side of living with someone with a temper. I have learned a lot from him. And my dad was fabulous but of course I was around my mom more. Give yourself time to heal and build good memories for yourself by having a great time at college.

It is not a stupid question and actually you are already showing great courage and insight in asking and realizing this issue is due to your upbringing. Some people go through live and never make that connection and keep repeating the same mistakes over and over. Will pray for you. Prayer and God is also the best answer but I am not a bible thumper. Just ask for guidance and you will receive it in time.

Answer 3

It sounds like you would benefit from talking with a counselor or other mental health pro. There should be free services available at your college counseling center. I hope you find help to deal with the things you have been thru.

As for relaxing, I love Yoga and listening to music! good luck

Answer 4

It sounds as if you are worried about fitting in and not judging others. If you find this a problem it might be beneficial for you to talk to a counselor. Either a professional one, one from you're church or school. Being up tight is not always a bad thing but you must learn to accept you're self before you can change you're self.

Answer 5

I do understand what you are feeling. and it is the pain that keeps reminding you of their behaviour, so if you can keep in mind" that was then and this is now "and you are not going to allow them to control you by their behaviour, there is no way you can change them, but you can change your thinking about how you respond to them when you have to deal with them. What they think , do, and say, is exactly that, their stuff, You are not obligated to condone or judge them . all you have to do is accept that they are as they are,I did not say agree with, or even like .Just accept that they are like that. and it will slowly diminish the fear and anger

Answer 6

Don't dwell on the past and let things go.

Answer 7

Study the bible with anyone who comes to your door offering to study the bible with you.

Answer 8

Yoga could really help you.