Do you think age matters in a realationship, like between a 18 yr. old guy to be with a 14 yr. old girl?

Question

this guy makes me really happy and he cares about me...im not just saying that. and i love spending time with him and hes always telling me that im really really cute...although my mom doesnt appove of him at all...she wont even let me talk to him. I was on the phone with him one night and she just comes down, rips the phone off my ear and starts blasting me about how im irresponsible and how it is not the right time for her. and i was just like he isnt affecting you at all hes my bf ill take care of him you hardly even have to look at him. and she was like its not a good time for me and all they think about is sex hes 18! your gonna end up pregnant! ive talked to him about that loads of times and we have come to the conclusion that were not going to do anything stupid like that. so i talk to my shrink about this entire thing...shes doesnt see why my mom is ticked off about it she said that realationships are about maturity, judgment, and communication but i dunno what to do...

Answer 1

awww. i thought i was having problems. but no to me. age doesnt matter. its what you feel about each other. im in the same situation too. my dad doesnt apporve of my boyfriend at all either. she thinks he's too old for me.

except my mom knows that i love him. and she kinda understands and all.

like. she knows that he takes care of me. and she knows that he can like stop me from doing crazy things.

are both of your parents this way? i think you should have a nice sit down talk with your mother. tell her that you dont think its fair that she just writes him off that quickly before actually know him.

as for the sex issue. well mothers are like that i suppose. they care for their little girls. dont worry. in the end im sure she'll understnad. it took awhile for my mom to get used to josh but as soon as she saw how we truely felt about each other. she let it go and let me be

hope it turns out the same way for you too

best of luck :}

Answer 2

When i was your age i was in the same situation. I was always attracted to older guys. Now that i am older and have kids i can also see where your mom is coming from tho. While you may really think you love this guy, be careful. He is older and i assume has alot more freedom than you do. He will be around older people (more his age) who will also have more freedom than you. And yes, at that age guys hormones are at their peak. Eventually someone more his age will probably come along, and he will decide to spend time with that person who is more available to him.
There are many things you need to think about before you put your whole heart into this relationship, or in the end you will be devastated. Try to remember that you are still very young (even if you're mature for your age) and that you still have so many opportunities and life experiences ahead of you. You should be open to these other opportunities when they come your way, or you may regret it when you get older. You have a lot in life ahead of you, so take advantage of all of it that you can girl. Take it from someone who's been there and learned the hard way!!

Answer 3

Age doesn't matter, but you need to know that he IS 18 and you're only 14. Where i live, technically, that's illegal. At the age of 18, a lot of guys are decieving, and honestly, all they do really want is sex. That is the truth. You need to learn to respect your mom and what she says. You are still very young and i'm not saying that 14 y/o's don't have feelings, but most of the time these feelings are beyond their control. At 14, all girls just want to be wanted. And especially when an older guy comes around, she thinks that she's got everything. Guys will say anything to get to a girl, including the "i don't want you just for sex" scheme. I don't know how mature you are, but your "feelings" are only as mature as your age. Whatever decision you make, don't wind up in the wrong path.

Answer 4

Hello, I have read your email question and I will try to give you some motherly advice, I have kids your age and I know about problems like the one you are going through. I will give you my honest opinion of what you said about your boyfriend, he really does seem like a decent guy if he is not pushing you into sex. Sex is a good thing but you have to be ready in your heart for that big step, because your first experience you will neve forgetr. It has to be shared with someone who is special to you. So just take your time, you are only young and enjoy life. If this boy feels right for you, don't let anyone tell you otherwise, he might end up being the boy you fall in love with.
Take care and I hope all goes well for you.

Answer 5

Well, if you really love him then you will leave him alone. I know this guy that dated a 16yr old when he was 24. Now he has a sex offender charge against him. He has the hotts for me but that is a pitty cause I can't date him now cause he is a sex offender and I don't date sex offenders.
This guy, can get in serious trouble. So can you. Leave it alone and consider all the trouble YOU can bring him if you care for him as you say.
You are 14? you should just focus on finishing high school and going to college. Take it from me.I have two kids. I am single and I raise two kids and go to college. I have only a 3.0 average cause I have so much **** I have to do. It is better, I think to be able to provide for your kids and be responsible than to be a selfish, twit, like I was and end up paying for it down the road.The children pay too. I will come out on top...because that is just how it is for me..but not everyone does.

Answer 6

First, your shrink is a BIG problem. What the shrink should be doing is helping you to realize you are 14. It is sick that this 18 year old is interested in you "in that way".

Second, you are 14! You are a child, even though you don't think you are. You should be respectful to your mother. She is still the one that should be guiding you through your life right now. She should also contact the police about this pedi and she should get you a new shrink!

Don't try to grow up too fast!

Answer 7

You're mom seems as if she is over reacting, which is normal. She's just worried that you'll end up getting pregnant and she'll have to raise another child and support 2. Don't argue with your mom about it, negotiate. Maybe you can get her to compromise with you. Basically feed her what she wants to hear but don't say too much. Try to be mature about the situation. Let her know that your aware of her concerns and you are willing to compromise with her. Tell her that you would like her to meet the guy you're seeing and see if she approves. If she doesn't throw in a little guilt... Keep in mind that your mom has been through a lot of this stuff when she was your age... she knows how guys are and she's just having a little trouble communicating that rationally with you, instead of flipping her lid.

Here's a little side story... when I was your age, I lost my virginity. I was dating this one guy for months and we always said I love you and blah blah blah... when I finally gave it up, he dumped me. Not even an hour after we had done it. The weird thing is... he was a virgin as well and was really sweet, or at least I thought he was. I guess I'm telling you this (and everyone else who's reading) because you have to stand guard. You know? If you're ready, you're ready - but prepare yourself for what comes along with it (heartbreak).

Your mom is really just worried about you. She's not trying to be cruel at all. Try to look at the situation from her view, parenting is not easy. All through high school, no matter what I did - I always found myself asking, "Dude, I wonder how my parents feel about this if they were to know... I wonder what I'm gunna feel like when I'm a parent?!" Thinking about that stuff is pretty crazy... I'm not a parent still, but you have to try to be an adult about it. I know you're a teenager, which is perfectly fine - but suprise your mom. Let her know that you're on your way to adulthood sooner than she knows. Talk about her worries and try to sort through them. She might 'level up' and come to a compromise with you.

If you need to talk er whatever, here's my email: [e-mail]

Answer 8

Age matters when you are a young teenager. I know you won't think so, and I understand that I probably won't change your mind because I am sure, like my own daughter you think you are "in love" and no one understands. As if we haven't been there. It is illegal for you to have an intimate relationship with this person. It is even possibly illegal for you to go against your mothers wishes and go out with him. Your mother is legally responsible for you until you are 18. She pays the price for whatever you do. Once you hit 18....feel free to date whom you wish. Until then, please remember that you have a lot of growing up to do, And I do mean a lot. Not trying to be mean or nasty here. I am just stating a fact. If this person is as wonderful as you think he is, then lets see how long he will wait. Time will tell. Good Luck and please, enjoy being young, it only lasts a little while;)

Answer 9

Age definitely matters! You really need to listen to your mother and honor her wishes and obey her. Your mother really does know what is best for you, especially in this department.

At 14 years old your maturity or judgment cannot be all that good. That's not an insult, it's just the truth. You do not have enough life experience to adequately judge this situation.

Answer 10

Listen to your mother... the guy is too old for you at this point. A four year age difference won't matter when you're 24 and he's 28, but at your age, four years is like twenty. No way I would permit my daughter to date an 18 year old when she's 14. Sorry.