My friend and I were sitting at the bar in a restaurant tonight and one of the cooks kept staring at me. Then, when we were leaving, he went outside near the back door to the kitchen and waved. If he was interested, why didnt he just ask for my number instead of staring all night? I so would have given him my number but I am not about to chase a guy ever again.
2007-01-05 15:35:34 · 18 answers · asked by Kelly 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First of all you're a customer at the bar and he's a "back of the house" (kitchen) worker.
He was probably afraid that if he approached you you'd shoot him down (maybe because you looked down on him for being a cook) and then you might complain to his boss and he might get fired.
Plus you were with another woman and a lot of men (myself included) don't like going up to women who are with other women - not only will you get shot down but the woman will ridicule you to her friend all night.
He might also just have been 'enjoying the view' - a lot of men like looking at beautiful women that we have no intention of ever approaching.
Here's a hint, when you're out with friends and a guy you find attractive looks at you, go to him and let him know it's OK for him to talk to you. You may call it 'chasing a guy' but I call it 'going after what you want'.
2007-01-05 15:46:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with chas, most guys are waiting on a definate sign, which we don't always get so we keep looking for it. you may have been giving him a string of signs, just not one he has seen before or expected to see. it's a natural instinct to hide an interest in someone as to appear not too eager. he is a cook, exactly what were you expecting here, he already feels outclassed, do you really think he is gonna let you prove that he is, in his mind , he was showing an interest which you didn't return, he isn't going to risk humiliation, but he still knows what he likes, maybe you have given him the incentive to become a more valuable person by societies standards and he will make himself worthy of you or someone like you. you proved he wasn't by not returning an interest, a little smile wouldn't have killed you, that may have been enuf to get him moving. did you wave back? I bet not. you protected your ego, it was racing at that point. yeah , blame the cook for liking you, maybe next time you will get some secret sauce in your meal and he will be chuckling. it could happen ya know. always be kind to the cook.
2007-01-06 01:17:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you don't take chances you never know what will become of it, right? could be also that he made you uncomfortable. If you are interested, go back there a few times, smile, flirt casually, send a "compliments to the chef" with the waiter, and see where it goes. Hey, if the guy can cook, it's a very good thing in my book!
2007-01-05 23:40:14 · answer #3 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For you to say he was staring at you meant you were staring at him. He was waving with relief, "Finally that gal left, now I will be able to work without her just staring at me. I'm so thankful she didn't come back in the kitchen and chase me around because the floor is so slippery--she could have gotten hurt".
2007-01-05 23:45:15 · answer #4 · answered by fran t 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We stare because we're visual creatures. We stare because we like what we see. We're looking for a signal from the woman if it's okay to approach them or not. If she doesn't give us some kind of visual feedback, we may not come up and ask for a number because we don't want to be rejected in public. Since you were with your friend and think that it would've been okay for him to ask for your number, why didn't you give him a sign?
2007-01-05 23:39:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ever seen a cute little teddy bear or a beautiful bird...dont u feel like constantly staring at it....same is the case...the only thing is men dont realise that it may be offensive to others....every person perceives differently...so may be liked something about you so much that he couldn't help but stare......there are some crass men who stare for all the wrong reasons ...but not everyone is like that....I hope you got me clear...
2007-01-05 23:50:52 · answer #6 · answered by Ashu R 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hmmm interesting, the one reason to stear, he must be having some interest in you, but on the other hand he may be a shy guy, dont want to take the initial step towards you, becoz may be he is a bit confused that if i talked to her she slaps me, :) afraid of his insult thats why,,,, and the other reason is your friend who is siting with you, whenever a boy or girl shows interst in someone . he/she love to talk to him/her when she/he is alone, :) so he chased you outside of the bar and wait from your side that you left your friend for a while, but you didnt , so better luck next tme he must be waiting for you at the bar on the same time ,, go there and talk to him if you like him, but remember go ALONE sweety :)
2007-01-05 23:43:08 · answer #7 · answered by Mr XXX 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like that he was shy, and afraid of being rejected. Guys with low self-esteem are afraid to make the first move, because they are afraid of failure (or maybe the last girl that he tried to ask out made a scene and publicly embarrassed him, and he is still too traumatized by that bad experience to risk rejection again.).
---edit-----
I also agree with the guy above me who said that maybe this guy thought that he knew you from somewhere else, but wasn't sure.
2007-01-05 23:42:11 · answer #8 · answered by Randy G 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he was shy. He was staring at you hoping that you would get a clue and walk up to HIM and hand over your number!
2007-01-05 23:39:16 · answer #9 · answered by WildMtHoney65 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Easier said than done. In your mind, you would go up & talk to the person that you are attracted to...but I think everyone has some type of shyness. Boy I know I do!
2007-01-05 23:41:03 · answer #10 · answered by thetikigod1976 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋