I have been dating this guy for 3 years. We broke up for a period about a year ago because of drinking and drug use. He stopped doing drugs and drinking excessively and promised that he would not do this anymore. After telling me not to be scared and to give him another chance I decided to go back out with him. Now it is 1 year later and he has gotten drunk twice and stoned once. Each time he has tried to hide it from me by lying. He told me the other day the truth about the drugs which I appreciated but I had to trick him into confessing. I am not a 'spring chicken' and I would like to meet someone who I can trust and rely on. Can I trust this person? What does the general public think?
2007-01-05 15:31:10 · 10 answers · asked by tucker1971 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I believe that everyone deserves a second chance..and maybe a third in this case. Relapsing 3 times in a year on his own (that you know about) is not too bad. For him to admit it.. is a step in the right direction. Professional guidance would be in order. With help and support from you and outside counseling, he has a good chance of recovery IF he admits he has a problem and wants to stop. He needs your support.
Trust is a hard barrier to overcome...only time will heal that wound.
Counseling is available free through alcoholic anonymous or narcotics anonymous...in the phone book or google it online.
I wish both of you well.
2007-01-05 15:55:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you cannot trust him. He has already broken your trust and you had to trick him into telling you the truth. You are in the parent mode where he is hiding things from you like a child. I am not a spring chicken either. Give yourself some credit. Reach a little higher, do you really want to be with someone that you always have to worry whether they are going to get stoned or drunk all the time. Go for a guy that is a grown up - they are out there. Let this one go...
2007-01-05 23:38:23 · answer #2 · answered by healergirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're asking us, that probably means you don't trust him and just need someone to back you up. I don't think he can be trusted. First of all, he broke your trust to begin with because he said he wouldn't do drugs and then he did. On top of that, he's trying to cover it up and lie about it. You don't need a liar. Think of all the other stuff he could lie about and what you haven't found out about yet. Find an honest guy.
2007-01-05 23:39:51 · answer #3 · answered by F.J. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he loves you since he did actually cut down A LOT on his vices. He slipped up but looks like he's making a huge effort.
If I were you I would wait and see. If it happens again after these slip ups then leave. Especially seeing how he didn't confess on his own. Which means he might be stopping because of you, and not of his own volition. When people do things because other people want them to, chances they're going to mess up or not do it as well are much higher.
2007-01-05 23:35:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are asking complete strangers to tell you whether or not you can trust someone, chances are you cannot trust that person. Ask him if he would agree to go to therapy for the drinking and drug use... and you may want to consider couples therapy. I wish you well.
2007-01-05 23:35:18 · answer #5 · answered by izzywillynillyone 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't stay with someone because you think you are getting too old to find someone new. You want to enjoy these years in your life. Liars always lie. Once they get away with lies with their partner, they will continue to do it.
Telling you to stay or go - well it's a decision that only you can make but I hope hearing others opinions helps you reach your decision.
Good reason to use the boards. Good luck!
2007-01-05 23:35:31 · answer #6 · answered by MW 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they will never quit both it will either be one or the other, odds are if he wont tell you the truth he has a problem that wont go away, i wouldnt trust it anymore. what does your gut say
2007-01-05 23:36:00 · answer #7 · answered by Jay and Meredith b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hellooooo----first; he has done the things that he promised not too....second; he LIED to you.
Give him up and find someone that will love you and not LIE.
Good Luck!
2007-01-05 23:36:42 · answer #8 · answered by cheery_ohz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't trust him.
2007-01-05 23:33:48 · answer #9 · answered by S K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
say good bye
2007-01-05 23:35:12 · answer #10 · answered by $$$$$$$$ice man$$$$$$$$ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋