I recently took in my brother-in-laws 2 kids they are 1 and 3 me and my husband are doing the kinship foster care for them. The one year old cry's constently unless I am holding him. What is the best way to break him of that? I understant it takes some adjustment but we have had them for three weeks now.
2007-01-05 15:00:54 · 6 answers · asked by Christie J 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You can't give into him no more because he is too used to people doing things for him like all babies. They need to be broke of it before they become a baby that is scared of everything and runs to his mom. Let him cry for a while he will soon get used to it. You can't baby him no matter how hard it is or how much he cries.
2007-01-05 15:11:23 · answer #1 · answered by valerie h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he have a cuddly bear? Like a security thing, something he seems to have with him alot or pay a lot of attention to? If so use it for this, if not, let him pick a bear out and when you are holding him, or lie down for a nap with him, cuddle him and the bear, sometimes having him hold the bear between you. He will begin to associate the bear with you and hopefully something secure and slowly when you are lying down, get up. assuring him that you are still there and to take care of 'what ever the bear's name is". Kiss him and the bear and see if he will snuggle to it. When he lies down by himself, still put the bear with him, close, lay your head on it sometimes and hopefully he will see the bear as 'always there' associate it with you and feel better. This must be very hard. I'm no expert but I have 3 sons and this is the sort of thing I would do with them or if I was babysitting a crying child. Cuddling them and humming a little, just you and him, take away other distractions in the room and start with the bear. Ask him questions, he's one, what's the bears name and the bear loves him and kiss the bear then tell him to give the bear kissy and go from your heart from there, you will know what to do.
Good Luck and if this doesn't help, hope it gives you some ideas.
One last thing, MASSAGE, rub his little head or lay him down and rub his back until he feels comfortable, move away and around in the room so that he sees you and knows your there but you dont' have to hold him. He's afraid you will disappear.
2007-01-05 15:09:50 · answer #2 · answered by betterthanhers 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry i don't know much about kids, but the one year old is being spoiled more by you: because you constantly raise him every time he cries. Don't do that once he's not hungry or hurt let him cry(sounds mean but that's true). He needs to be tough, give him some toys to play with. He'll wear out off that once you practice ignoring him at times.
Anyway Good Luck !
2007-01-05 15:23:52 · answer #3 · answered by necks 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They miss their parents, you did not say how you came about having them in your care.
Realize it is scary to be in a strange and nothing is familiar to them. Give them time to get use to you and your husband. Keep them busy, go for a walk, take them to the park, grocery store, toy store.
They need love, love, and to know that you are not going to leave them like their parents did.
If you have a picture of their parents blow it up to a 8X12" picture. Put it in a frame and put it out so they can see their pictures. I use to keep this little boy and when he would start crying for his mother, I would let him hold her picture. He would talk to the picture and say Mommy I love you. He would kiss the picture then he would be OK until the next time that he really missed her.
2007-01-05 15:15:39 · answer #4 · answered by D S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh, the poor little boy. He's scared and doesn't understand what's going on. I know it's annoying and you don't want to be holding him forever, but try to think about it from his point of view. I think the idea of a bear or stuffed animal is a good one. This boy needs a comfort object. Right now he's using you to get his comfort. Try to get him to use something else, but also be patient with him.
2007-01-05 15:29:15 · answer #5 · answered by cldb730 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is very hard to not hold babys.they are so cute and usually you have to hold them.i think the best thing to do is get them something to sit them in that bounces or moves and get them excited about it and they will be so into it they won't realize they want to be held.That is what i think is a great idea cause my mom said it worked for me.
2007-01-05 15:04:14 · answer #6 · answered by bassrock@sbcglobal.net 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋