I've been "seeing" a new man for a couple months now. He is very into his studies - as well as a lot of important previous commitments. He is making more time to spend with me which is great but sometimes I feel as if he doesn't REALLY want to hang out. He is very respectful and considerate - and very nice. But I believe he has never had a real girlfriend before (so busy). I talk to him a lot and sometimes I feel like I am talking to him too much and I feel like an idiot. Also, he is very nervous to be intimate with me. That is something that will take time but how do I create more interest from him??? He tries but I want him to feel like he needs to see me because he really really wants to. Maybe we are doing the same old boring thing..going to dinner too much? Running out of things to say. But most of the time, we have a good time :) I miss him. I just want to be closer?
Also, should I refrain from speaking to him so much or will that lead him to think I'm no longer interested?
2007-01-05 14:52:58 · 13 answers · asked by ashley r 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Also - on a good note that I have asked him to put more of an effort, and he is trying more than before which is good. But I feel like he isnt giving what he could. perhaps it just needs more growth/time!
also - thanks to everyone who's answered :) People in here are great!
2007-01-05 15:02:17 · update #1
Well, if you stop talking to him as much, he might come to you and try to be more intimate. But then again, he might not. That's really something you have to decide based on his personality and stuff... Also, you want to be closer to him.. you should take the initiative and make him feel comfortable with you and with getting closer with you... take the lead! :)
2007-01-05 14:58:44 · answer #1 · answered by F.J. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HUnny i have been in the same position. I felt like whatever i did wasnt good enough and would never lead them to wanting to hang with me.I stopped trying for a little while but whenever i did stop he would make the moves to keep talking to me. So i suggest that you could lay off until he makes a move. and if he does within about 1-2 days of you not trying to talk to him/ hang out then you know hes definitely interested =].
2007-01-05 22:58:10 · answer #2 · answered by Nena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Each person has a different value system or different set of priorites in life. You can tell how much someone values something by the time and money they invest into it. Your boyfriend may like you but he has other priorites that are more important to him, ex) work, hobbies, you. Obviously, you place your boyfriend very high on your value system. You have two choices: 1) Make your boyfriend less of a priority in your life or 2) Accept that you will never be as important as his work or obligations.
2007-01-08 12:43:31 · answer #3 · answered by mine2006aug 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont refrain from speaking to him, that is a bad idea. Talk to him and tell him how u feel before is too late. I tried to ignore my ex so she could develop more interest in me since she was also really busy. But it just drove us apart and i regret telling her how i felt at the time (I felt exactly how u feel now). So tell him
2007-01-05 22:59:10 · answer #4 · answered by Pablo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since he is so busy and you'll having been going dinner with him so many time that it became bored...
Why not trying cooking for him..;)
Maybe this will open up new thing...oh.. btw.. oyster and some wine will do great to bring up his interest in intimacy
2007-01-05 22:58:27 · answer #5 · answered by Badmanfor3v3r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey, do something new if you feel you're going out to dinner to much. here's an idea. tell him you'll pick him up, don;t tell him where you're going, and take him out to do something romantic. wear something sexy but not slutty. it's romantic, gets his attention, gives a hint of mystery, and it'll be a change from the normal. that oughta get him a little more responsive
2007-01-05 23:00:42 · answer #6 · answered by karneene 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
instead of you always do the yaking.. why don't you ask him questions that concerns him.. his interests..him..in a deeper level. in that way you can make him feel that you are really interested in him. do something nice for him.. surprise him-like treat him for a coffee. he probably has a monotonous life (well you said he's a very busy guy..) do something for him out of the blue..to break that monotonous lifestyle of his..
2007-01-05 23:00:30 · answer #7 · answered by anette 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a real nerd and you sound very bored. Maybe you should reconsider if you really want to spend any more time with him.
2007-01-05 22:57:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well what i would do is sit down with him and talk about it. if he wants you to lay off a little so be it if not then he'll feel better knowing u care!
2007-01-05 22:55:55 · answer #9 · answered by Lone Hunter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you tried talking to him about it? tell him how you feel. if you dont get an answer youre happy with, then itll be easier to figure this out.
2007-01-05 22:56:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋