i'v known my boyfriend for a while now and i know he wants to have sex, it would be my first time but i just dont feel like i'm ready. how can i tell him?
2007-01-05 14:30:11 · 48 answers · asked by Imagine That! 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just tell him you don't want to .... if he is in it for more than sex he will understand
2007-01-05 14:31:37 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
This is a problem for millions of young ladies today. If you have an honest and open relationship with this person then it should be easy to express your views.
If you feel like you are being pressured into it then the relationship is not heading the right direction.
We ladies need to stand up and make our views be heard.
Remember that it is your body and your actions will stay with you forever.
Try giving little hints that you are not ready. If that don't work then just come out and tell him.
If he is in the relationship for the long haul then he will understand.
Don't forget that some women don't have sex for the first time until they are 30 or older so nothing is wrong in waiting.
Good Luck
2007-01-05 14:43:50 · answer #2 · answered by ME 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that! If he is persistent in makin' you drop your drawers then leave him... for a while. You can always take him back as long as there is no bitterness about anything and maybe it will mature him if he is wanting it, but doesn't get any. Everyone has the need or urge to have sex, but you have to be smart about when it is the time. If he really cares about you then he will let you know, and he'll drop the sex thing for a while, or at least until you are comfortable with it. Sex isn't "the thing to do", it's primarily for procreation, which, if you are a virgin, you probably don't want any kids yet.
2007-01-05 14:36:17 · answer #3 · answered by thpsguy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should definitely let him know that you are not ready to have sex. If he does not wish to understand that then perhaps he is not the right guy for you. Please do not have sex just because you do not want to lose him. I personally would advise you to wait until your wedding night. However, if you chose not to, make sure that it is with someone that truly loves you and that you are emotionally and mentally ready for the changes that will take place in both your body and your mental state. after having sex. Sex changes the dynamics of a relationship - remember that. And be ready to suffer the consequences of having sex before marriage.
2007-01-05 14:34:59 · answer #4 · answered by fancyface1 l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be honest and clear with him. tell him how you feel and if asks why, just answer that you're not ready. Do you have any moral, religious or cultural beliefs that might make deciding to have sex the wrong decision for you? Do you want to wait until you are married? just explain whatever reasons and be kind, but FIRM about your choice. if he tries to pressure you, just keep the same answer, and if he continues to make you feel totally uncomfortable, maybe it's time for a break. relationships are meant for both of the people involved and neither should feel controlled nor pressured. if he really cares about you, he will listen and understand. good luck!
2007-01-05 14:37:52 · answer #5 · answered by madelaine arnaud 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your not ready then say no. If he's mature he will handle it. If he kicks up a fuss it's better that you find out now. It will show his maturity and that means a lot. I certaintly wasn't ready my first time and if I could turn back time I would. This should be a special occassion and only when your ready. When the time comes that you feel ready you'll know.
2007-01-05 14:33:20 · answer #6 · answered by pq4u72 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him, "I'm not ready to have sex." A good guy will be kind, patient and respectful. He might still be horny, but he'll be able to handle things on his own. If you're not ready to have sex, it's okay to say so. It's also a good idea to stay away from situations that might lead to sex: hanging out in your bedroom, going parking, etc.
Good for you for knowing what you want!
2007-01-05 14:39:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him not to rush u and that u are not ready yet to have sex. If he cant understand or wait then u don't need him because if he really loves u he would wait for he right time or he would wait when u are ready.
2007-01-05 14:33:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is a personal decision that only you can make.
If he truly cares for you he will wait until you are ready and only you know when that is.
Give it some time, sex is something you may regret later if things don't work out with you and your boyfriend.
Good luck!
2007-01-05 14:33:57 · answer #9 · answered by Desiree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without any explaination, dump him. Say "I'm just not feeling it". If he wants you, really loves you, he'll ask 'why ' and then you can explain. He'll either accept or leave. If he doesn't ask about why you want to break up, then he isn't concerned enough for your relationship, and good ridance. Your virginity is priceless (corney but true) You dont want to give it up to a shmoe just because everyone else is. Good for you, to even be concerned enough to post the question
2007-01-05 14:37:57 · answer #10 · answered by an_awsome_woman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say, "Im not ready"
You dont have to give a speech he will understand. Just don't wait till you are in the bed and naked and he is with the condom on before you tell him, otherwise he will be pissed (like I would).
2007-01-05 14:34:55 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋