What is going on in the daycare?

Question

Okay so my 3yr old Daughter has been going to her daycare since sept. Two days ago she came home and i noticed she had what i thought was boogers in her nose so i cleaned her up and found it was peanut butter in her nostrils. Me and her father asked her why she had put peanut butter in her nose and she started to cry and said she didnt do it. Yesterday she came home all upset and begged her father to not go back but wouldnt tell us why. Today we had no choice but to send her back. She came home with paint all over her back and butt. what is going on.

she goes to a home daycare.
and i have asked the teachers they said that she must have did it herself.

Answer 1

Apparently half of the people that have answered have no idea how hard it is to find a daycare...ANY daycare, good or bad!!

I would tend to think it's probably another kid doing these things and speaking to the teachers would probably help.

In the interim, I would go on the quest for a new daycare since it might take a long time to find one with an opening.

Kids..ALL kids...do really rotten, stupid, horrible stuff and if your daughter is more passive, then she could be an easier target for bullies.

I would find out if she's exposed to the older kids and ask the instructors to keep an eye out on her closely for a few days to see if they can find out what's going on.

An older kid might be scaring her and I know its awful to have to send her back, but if that's the only option you have until you find a new place, my prayers are with her...and you too so you find something new quick!!

Answer 2

First of all, trust your gut. It is usually 99% right. If you feel that you still want to give this Daycare the benefit, speak to the Director. Do not discuss this over the telephone. Call and tell her you'd like to make an appointment to see her. Don't go into anything else until you see her face to face. Look for her body language when she is explaining her story to you. My husband and I took a class on How to recognize a Pedophile. Try and calmly speak to your Daughter again. Please do not have you and your husband both questioning her at the same time. This makes her feel like she has done something wrong. She is upset and confused over something that has happened at that Daycare. Why not go into her room with her and while she is playing, start to ask her about her friends at daycare, what they did that day? Lead into it like that. Then ask about her teacher, Is she nice? See how your Daughter's tone and actions change from when she talks about her friends to the adults at the daycare. Is she happy when talking about her friends then scared when she talks about the teacher? Those are warning bells. It could even be that she felt that she was in trouble by your tone and it scared her. Feel free to e-mail me. I will be happy to help any way I can.

Answer 3

All daycares, home ones included, must be licensed. Call your Social Services office and make a report and let them investigate it. At the very least there is a lack of supervision going on here.

Pull your child out of that daycare regardless of the report they make. I had my child in a very reputable daycare for two weeks one time and one of the caregivers got shitty w/ me and I went to the Director and explained the situation and that there were no hard feelings, tomorrow is a new day blah blah blah. The next morning I had a brief due at work and when I dropped him off none of the workers spoke to me even though I spoke to them. I HAD to go to work, got my brief finished in record time, and went to the day care. I got my child and all of his belongings and looked for the director, who was no where to be found. I went into her office and left a note that said, "We will not be back." Now, I hadn't even finished paying the registration fees and obviously didn't give the required two week notice and what did they do? Nothing.

I had to take a week off of work to find a new provider, but when I did have to go in for a half day or so, luckily I had family to help keep the baby and I did even take him to work one day with me.

Protect your child, that's the bottom line.

Answer 4

Your daughter is probably being targeted by another child. Since it is a home daycare and the teacher seems to say your daughter did it to herself, chances are it is probably the owner or one of the workers children. They tend to not notice when they do things to other children. If I were you I would pop in for a visit in the middle of the day and observe what is going on. Do it unannounced, a quality childcare setting will have an open door policy to parents, so they shouldn't mind if you just show up to observe. While you are there look around at the behaviors that are going on. How are the teachers interacting with the children? Do they greet your child when you arrive? Do they tell your child bye when you leave? Are they at the children's level when they are interacting with them, or are they hovering over them? How they act when you are there reflects how they are when you are not. If they aren't greeting the children that is a poor sign. If they aren't interacting at the child's level then take your baby out and look for quality child care. There are good ones out there and to be honest, sometimes you get what you pay for. If you want good quality, then you have to pay for it.

Answer 5

Dee is correct and I don't find the sarcasm from some posting answers acceptable. Some people aren't able to confront others easily and having backup from a support network, even one like this, picks up their confidence. Talk to the teachers while starting to research other daycare or options. Is this a facility or inhome situation? Sometimes all it takes is for someone to quit and not have a replacement yet and everyone is spread thin. Sometimes you've just made a bad judgement call on the daycare and it "sucks". Either way you are trying to do the best you can within your budget and can't be judged for that. I know daycare in this country is a mess, thanks to everyone in political office who can afford nannies and can't relate to everyone else, but we have to do what we have to do. Also, make sure you "drop in" at the daycare to see what's going on. Just please make it clear to the caretaker you won't put up with it and expect it to change and reassure your daughter that you will help her stand up for herself.

Answer 6

well i have a 3 year old daughter and my worst fear is sending her to daycare and this is a good example of why maybe find a sitter that costs the same amount as the daycare this way yu know that your child is safe all day and home in there own house because it sounds to me that something is going that shouldnt be and we as the parents are the only ones who can protect our children my advice dont send her back there ..would you be able to live with your self if something was happening to her

Answer 7

Apparently the daycare nannies aren't doing their supervising jobs very well. If anything like bullying occurs, they are supposed to fill out an incident report. I would confront the people who watch your daughter, try to get your daughter to tell you who is doing these things to her, and find out why these events have not been given attention. Daycares have the right to kick out children who misbehave aggressively on a regular basis. If all else fails, report the daycare to the proper authorities and withdraw your little girl. If she ever gets hurt/mistreated and you receive no incident report you can get the place in big trouble.

Answer 8

My guess is a bully! Talk to your daycare provider if your daughter is having problems with her daycare she will be unhappy and who wants that. If she cant tell you the teacher will be able to watch and see whats going on so she can punish the culprit... Or at least figure out wht is going on.

Answer 9

We cannot do much to explain the problem going on in the daycare. I suggest that you contact your daycare and find out their daily routine and activities. Another way you can find out what is going on is to get to know other parents. Meet their kids, this will help you understand if your child is being bullied. If problems continue to exist I would find a new daycare for my child.

Answer 10

I wouldn't be sending my child back there without investigation. This is a little life we are talking about. A little person who is very scared and it is your job to look after them. Take some sick days off work and figure it out...don't just continue to blindly send your daughter somewhere that is scaring the hell out of her. You are her Mum... and that's the most important thing you will ever do in your whole life.