Is it normal for a 19 month old little girl to go through the phase of hitting? Even if it's her parents? If so what Can we do as parents to help all of us get through this phase. If you have or had the same issue what did you do that worked for you? and how long does this usually last?
2007-01-05 13:54:16 · 9 answers · asked by A W 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I do not believe in hitting my daughter... to me that just reinforces the behavior that I don't want her to do... so no hitting her back
2007-01-05 14:11:18 · update #1
"When a child or small child (hits or) bites (or whatever), he must imediately be told that this behaviour is not acceptable.. . they do not need to understand why it is not to hit as long as he understands that he is not to." Leach 2003, p.375
Children at this age do not understand your pain they only understand their own feelings. I was just reading about this the other day as I have a 20 month old daughter.
The bit I was reading was about biting but its a similar principle.
Hitting is pointless with kids of this age, it just makes you and them feel bad, they grow out of these things...just give them lots of love.
Quote
"Even if you don't find the idea of an adult biting a small child barbaric, doing it to "show him what it feels like" is as pointless as it is painful because he won't get the point. Three is the earliest a child is likely to be able to put himself in another child's shoes sufficiently to see any connection between what they do and what is done to them, what they make others feel and what they feel themselves.
In fact because most children learn by example, biting back (or similar painful punishments) make it much more difficult for them to learn not to be violent."
2007-01-05 14:22:14 · answer #1 · answered by Peta C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its normal for this age, that's one way to show their frustration, as they speech is not developed properly.
I would not hit back, because that would make her think that 'if mommy and daddy can do it, why cant I'?
What I did with my kids at the school was, that I was trying to warn them or prevent physically (catching their hands in the air before hitting) or moving away so they couldn't reach. Then told them that its a big NO NO to hurt other people, and I made them apologize to the child they had hurt, and they also had to say sorry, and discussed it wont happen again, and they loved and hugged the one they hurt.
When it gets to the point they would not quit hitting, I put them in time out for 1-2 minutes, and explain why did they get it ..and the same apology...and the stuff I already mentioned above.
It works very well. Kids hate time outs, and if you are being consistent, and have the same reaction on this behavior, the child will get it and will quit.
Plus: try to find out what causes her frustration, and whats the reason she is hitting. That would help too.
2007-01-05 14:11:40 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They do go through these phases, and as long as you have a consistent response each time she does it, you can eliminate the behavior. Every time she hits, you say in a firm (but not mean) voice, "No hitting." If she hits at you again within a few seconds, firmly take her hand, place it against her side, and say, "no hitting" again. Then walk away out of her range. Talk about appropriate ways to use our hands... we use our hands to shake hands, give high fives, and play thumb wrestling, etc. Do this every time, and make sure that others who interact with your child do the same thing. It doesn't take long for children to grasp a new concept, up to 20 repetitions, and she will understand what you are saying. Hitting lasts as long as they go through early childhood, up to about age 4. But, by starting now, you can decrease the likelihood that your child will use this method as a first reaction. Toddlers are especially prone to the use of hitting because they lack the verbal skills to articulate what it is that they want to say. Once she increases her verbal skills to tell you what she wants and doesn't want to do, the hitting will subside.
2007-01-06 09:40:00 · answer #3 · answered by dolphin mama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hold both of her arms and her side, look her straight in the eyes and very firmly say "no hitting." Then give her a time out. The formula is one minute for every year your child is. After that have her say she's sorry and give her a big hug and tell her what a big girl she is for saying that. The most important thing to do when raising a child is to be consistent and to try to reinforce good behavior as much as possible. Children, like adults, like to feel good about themselves and the more positive feedback they get for good behavior, the more they will keep it up. Often children will misbehave because they want attention.
2007-01-05 14:28:01 · answer #4 · answered by susan g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children that age are testing out the world around them and exploring the boundaries that are there for them. Yes this is "normal" behavior, and a lot of children go thru it. I would not suggest hitting her back, because that is reinforcing the negative behavior. Instead I would remind her what we can do.
Examples:
** Talk to her about how we can use our hands. "We can use our hands for soft touches. (take her hand and softly touch your face or arm while you say it. "We can use our hands for clapping not hitting. (clap while you say it) "We can use our hands to wave." (wave while you say it)
** Tell her, "It is not OKAY to hit mommy, mommy doesn't hit you."
The more you talk to her, the more she will understand what she should be doing. I wouldn't hit my child either.
2007-01-05 14:53:28 · answer #5 · answered by sllcone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son is 20 months old and totally went through the hitting stage-and yes to his father and me.I could tell him no in a firm voice and even lightly smak his hand when he hit and it never worked.What actually worked was ignoring him-just do not look at her or pay any attention to her and it should wrk-she will bore of hitting you and stop.Sounds crazy but it works when he is not obedient in other ways too.
2007-01-05 14:06:46 · answer #6 · answered by mama of 2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you dont believe in spanking her for hitting you then your out of luck. That is what is wrong with kids today...No discipline..Do you want your 19 month old daughter to run the show and hit you? Think about it...the reason she is hitting you is because she knows she can get away with it.
2007-01-05 14:18:46 · answer #7 · answered by 1st-time-mommy 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
i'm not an expert on in the journey that your son is more desirable or not yet he sounds like he's a minimum of on the right track. you may start practise him is abc's and 123's every time. speaking, making a track, and examining for your Son can assist him study his vocabulary quick!
2016-12-01 21:39:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
our daughter did that around the same age.. if you hit her back and show her it hurts she should stop.. ours did....
2007-01-05 13:56:40 · answer #9 · answered by kodapia 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋