step-dad problems! i need major advice?

Question

ok, my dad died when i was four and my mom remarried shortly after. that was what? 9, 8 years ago. im still not over my dads death, and i really dont like my stepdad. my older brother and i feel like he treats his kids differently, treats them somewhat better. hes in the navy, and hes a real strong christian. so clearly hes very very strict. hes always on his butt watching sports when he comes home from work, and he never helps with chores. my mom does alot around the house, and my brother and i help as much as we can. i just feel so neglected or hated or something when hes around. i get depressed because i miss my dad and i feel like my stepdad is trying to replace him. he changed my brothers and my last name to his like, 5 years ago and we have to call HIM dad and address our real dad by his name. i think thats real unfair, and my friends do too. i just need help or advice on what to do. my brother says hes going to disown himself in a year (hes 15) but then id be alone. PLZ HELP!

Answer 1

My first piece of advice would be to get over your father's death. Dwelling on the past can bring nothing good to the equation. It's the unfortunate truth but people die every day. We mourn their loss but we move on. We have to if we are to live our own lives.

That aside, your step-dad sounds like a real ***. But once again, you are not the first person to be in such a situation, nor will you be the last. I am assuming you are a teenager(or a pre-teen) in which case, your view of the situation would be typical. If all your step-dad is is a lazy ***, then I would say let it go. While his approach to you may be emotionally abusive, if he is not physically abusing you, I would say to once again let it go. There is nothing wrong with remembering your father. Hell you don't even have to look at your step-father as being your real father. People play favorites all the time. It might suck, but that is life. Do well in school, get into a good college, and don't look back when that day comes. Look to the future, not the past to guide you!

Answer 2

But he is giving you a home, food on the table, and clothes on your back. Try not to be rebellious to your stepdad. Sorry about your loss. Just remember that your stepdad could never replace your real dad. So maybe cut him a little slack. You can do what you want to do when you become an adult, but in the meantime, don't hurt your mom by being rebellious to your stepdad. If you think he's being unfair, then talk to your mom about this. If he's a decent guy, then talk to him about it. Just have patience, eventually you'll be of age to do what you want to do. Try your best to be an example to younger siblings. Believe it or not, they do look up to you. Be there for them, they'll need an older sister's wisdom. You'll be ok. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 3

First I know how you feel! Second you should sit down with your brother and your stepdad when your mom is not around and ask him why he acts the way he does and make him sign a contrat or something to make sure he deosn't tell your mom about the conversation because that might lead to more problems! So just ask him how come he treats his kids better then you and your brother because now yall are his kids so yall should be treated equally no matter what! he signed on for that when he married your mom! So then if that conversation does not take in affect ask your brother if you could leave with him when he leaves! Or go leave with a relative or something! Ask a relative to adopt you! Just don't stay somewhere where you are not confertable!

Answer 4

your dad will always be your dad no matter what, your stepdad is just that a stepdad but respect your mum choice in a husband and just try to get along you dont have to like him just pretend after all he is just jealous of your feelings for your real dad