i love jokes and love to laugh give me some goood jokes
2007-01-05 12:49:44 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A guy who was riding a packed jeepney (public transport in the Philippines where everyone's seated on two long benches like bunks in trains, facing each other) and he feels like he really needs to release some offensive gas...
So he says to himself, "It's ok. The music's pretty loud in this jeep. I'll just time my, um, uh--explosions? to the loud beats, so they'll never know."
When he does, even he's shocked at the stench.
At his stop, he turns to the driver and says, "Para, po. (Stop here, please.)" He noticed everyone looking really angrily at him. He thought, "Oh, no. They know. How'd they guess?"
So he gets off, with plenty of side comments from fellow passengers, some heckling, some gagging, among other things. He felt really humiliated and astounded, asking where did he go wrong -- he timed it so perfectly, he thought.
Only then, he realizes, as he stands there at the curb. He was wearing headphones for his player. :)
2007-01-06 14:05:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Little Johnny's teacher asked if anyone in the class could use the word fascenate in a sentence...
Little Judy replied, "My daddy took me to the zoo over the weekend, and I was fascenated by all the animals." The teached told her it was a good sentence, but she wanted the word fascenate, not fascenated.
Little Henry replied, "My father brought out the telescope last night, and I found all the stars fascenating". The teached told him it was a good sentence, but she wanted the word fascenate, not fascenating.
When she called on Little Johnny he replied, "My sister bought a new sweater with 10 buttons, but her boobs are so big, she can only fasten eight."
2007-01-05 23:28:47 · answer #2 · answered by jbird 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The traveling incense salesman was walking along the dusty road out of New Delhi when he realized he needed a place to sleep. He saw the root gatherers hut in the distance and headed for it. He knocked at the entrance-way and the root gatherer came to the door and said "Yes". The incense salesman said, " I am a traveling incense salesman and I need a place to sleep for the night." The root gatherer said, " You are welcome to sleep here, but you will have to sleep up in the loft with my daughter." He answered "OK" and climbed the ladder to the loft. The next morning he came down and squatted down next to the root gatherer and accepted a cup of tea. The root gatherer asked, "Did you enjoy sleeping with my daughter?". The salesman said, "Yes I did very very much, but I have to ask, why was there rice in her mouth?". The root gatherer replied, "Oh, that is not rice, that is maggots, she has been dead for two years."
2007-01-06 10:38:35 · answer #3 · answered by iknowtruthismine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 kids are dressed up as James bond and going to a 2007 costume party. An old man opens the door and asks "What do you have to do with the new year?" the kids answer "Were 2-007s
2007-01-05 20:53:41 · answer #4 · answered by ms.duckee13 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Three Girls Go Camping
One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom. She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business.
While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her. They skinned a rabbit and snuck up on the blonde, put the guts behind her and ran back to the campsite. Three minutes later they heard a scream.
Then they waited another half an hour and the blonde came back, sweating. She said, "I had to poop so hard I pooped my guts out. But thanks to God and these two fingers, I stuffed them back in."
i mean no offence to any blonds
2007-01-05 21:06:39 · answer #5 · answered by FML 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
How to catch a polar bear:
You take a saw, and cut a big hole in the ice. Then, you take a can of sweet peas, and you lay the peas side by side all around the hole in the ice. Hide behind a mound of snow, and when the polar bear comes out to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
2007-01-05 21:04:46 · answer #6 · answered by ditzy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay these are some of my ABSOLUTE favorites!!!
how do you catch a unique rabbit? you neek up on it!
how do you catch a tame rabbit? tame way!! [hahaha]
how do crazy people get through the forest? the physcho path! [love it!]
what two school classes allow notes? band and choir!! [absolute absolute fav!]
2007-01-05 20:54:51 · answer #7 · answered by dward™ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your momma jokes
Your momma is so dumb, she went to a Clippers Game thinking she's getting a hair cut.
2007-01-05 20:51:33 · answer #8 · answered by shanaecamille 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there was this kid he didnt want to go to bed but finally his dad made him and once he was in bed 5 minutes later he said DAD!!!!!!!!!!! and his dad said what? and he said im thirsty can you bring me a drink of water the dad said no you had your chance 5 minutes later the kid yelled DAD!!!!!!!! the dasd said WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????? the kid said im still thirsty can you bring me a drink of water? the dad said no and if you ask me again im gong to have to spank you 5 minutes later the kid said dad the dad said what and the kid said if theres a fire in the night when you come to save me can you bring me a drink of water?
2007-01-05 20:58:55 · answer #9 · answered by Inxlovex123 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory? she kept throwing out all the w's!
2007-01-05 20:51:58 · answer #10 · answered by I hate carrots 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋