Love or adventure?

Question

Hi everyone! I am in a bit of a dilema... I am increadibly atracted to two men, and I don't know which one to pic to invest in a seriuos relantionship. One, I have everything in common with, he is sexy, can dance, love music, no drugs, no alcohol, and is into the same area that I study (but he is 20 years older then me and being married 4 times) in fact, he only told me that a short while ago, and made me upset and disappoited, but hey... the other one, is soooo sweet, the same: no alcohol, drugs, junk food, and can dance really well and love music, also a great sport person, REally fit!! very spiritual and hamble person, looking for someone like him... (well... this one is 8 years younger then me) Now I don't know which one should I go for... I like them equally, but I want a seriuos commitment. In one hand I don't want sombody that has beeing married 4 times, but in other hand I also don't want someone that will wait some ten years to marry someone... by the way I am 27... ?????????

Answer 1

love

Answer 2

The fact that you are having to ask this question speaks volumes to me. You would know in the blink of an eye who you would want to marry. Neither of them really sound right for you!!!!
However, if I were to differentiate between the two, the older one for sure is not a good candidate for marriage, having been married 4 times before! The younger one sounds as if there may be some potential, take your time to get to know him first, you will instinctively know if he is right for you or not. The key here is not to rush into anything. You are still young, whats the hurry??? You can never tell the future. For all you know, in a couple of weeks, months, even years you could meet the man of your dreams. Believe me, it is well worth waiting a while. You ask love or adventure? Honey I would want both, all or nothing. When you look at your man....and after you have got to know him, you have got to be satisfied that, not only should you find him physically attractive, but he should be your best friend too. And he must be a good possibility to be a good father if you are hoping to have children. You can find a partner who is loving and fun aswell.
You probably think that alot of what I say is old fashioned, but it is tried and tested. I know from experience!
I wish you all the best!!! :o)

Answer 3

Take some time to yourself (at least a few weeks) without being distracted by either one of them to get your thoughts together. You'll have a better idea of what you want. Think about what's important to you in a good relationship, what's neccessary and what's not allowable, and don't settle for less. My thoughts are that you should choose neither of these men. The younger one is too young to be tied down right now and might ultimately hurt you down the road. The older one is going through midlife crisis and is really too old to be going to the dance clubs or pursuing a woman young enough to be his daughter. The fact that he's been divorced 4 times is a RED flag! There is a reason for it! It can't ALL be the other wives' fault! But you think about it. If you give yourself enough time away, your instincts will tell you what you should do.

Answer 4

I take many things out from your question. You say: "I want to pic a man to INVEST in a serious relationship"; "I don't want to wait ten years to MARRY someone"; "I am incredibly attracted to TWO men"; "I like them EQUALLY"; "I want a SERIOUS COMMITMENT". That makes me think that you arn't acting seriously, and if so, you wont be able - to get or give - any serious commitment. And I'll make you some questions now. What is your interest in getting married? Do you really want to build a family? For all your life time? Is that the reason that makes you doubt about who is the man to to get married with? the man to create - closely and together - a lasting family? If that's your doubt, I'll tell you that perhaps you'll find a man to get married with, but I'm sure he is not one of the two men you are so attracted to. You shouldn't marry a man you like, or are attracted to. You should marry a man you LOVE and that he LOVES you too. And if you ever felt in love, you now that when that happens, no matter how much it lasts, you don't doubt, that person it's the ONLY ONE by that time.
If I mist understood you, or you don't agree with me, I'll give you an idea. I have a suggestion to make. Why don't you marry both? Right now get married with the older one, who surely will be divorced again. And when you get divorced, marry the youngster. He will have lots of pleasures to make you feel, and you wont have to wait.

Answer 5

You are in a tough situation.
If I were you I would be very hesitant to get involved with the 47 yo. 20 years is a generation and there is just so many differences there, it may be hard to bridge the "gap". If you were serious and had children, it could be possible that your child would have a 70 yo dad when he is 18. The dad may not be able to do many things you may want for your child, such as playing ball, camping, etc.

Also, you really have to consider the fact that you could be his fifth wife. I wouldn't want my first marriage to be with a five timer. That's a bad track record and just too much experience (he may be jaded about things most couples would be excited for).

Good Luck!

Answer 6

I say take your time and see...one is 47 and the other is 19??? I honestly wouldnt pick either. Married 4 times is a sign something is wrong there and 19 is just too young for him to know what he wants. But nowadays the younger guys are stepping it up so have fun for now! Maybe he'll be your Ashton Kutcher one day..good luck!

Answer 7

if a guy has been married 4 times,he's not worth it.what makes you think he's gonna want to stay with you?he'll do the same,marry you then leave you like he left the others...that's not a really serious guy,or someone who respects women.
the other one is too youg,not for you,but too young,and i honestly dont think he's willing to get married now.if he does,or at least starts a "serious relationship" with you,he's gonna end up leaving you for someone of his same age when you less expect it.
keep looking,or dont just commit to any of them til you are sure about whether it'll work or not.
good luck and all the best.

Answer 8

We are the same age. All I can tell you is you have to trust your heart and only you can decided but i think the one who's younger and not been married 4 times but again it's your choice. Look at it this way whoever can make you laugh and smile and the one who you get goose bumps thinking about them you know the you can eat, sleep or can't stop thinking about them kind of love.

Answer 9

sorry to my coeval but if i had to choose, in Ur place id prefer the younger one (i may explain if U need - some 25 years ago i had a girlfriend 13 years older than me, that longed for 12 years and we still are best friends). but it looks that U need someone else ... the best advice would come from Ur heart - if U arent sure, dont do.

Answer 10

If a man has been married four times then something must have gone wrong in all his previous relationships. What are the odds that the blame lay with all four of his former partners.
The other chap sounds great for you but you must follow your heart coupled with common sense. If you have a belief in God I would say please pray about it. Please pray even if you don't believe in God. Prayers always get answered.

Answer 11

Its easy.......go for the one with the most money!!!!
and if they are both loaded then you really do have a serious predicament!!!

And dont go for looks alone, thats just shallow...... which one makes you laugh the most???