I think my brothers smoke weed? Help?

Question

I have 2 brothers and i'm getting suspicious of them smoking weed. My brother who is only in 9th grade has been caught with lighters and stuff but never weed, he's been caught with his window open in his room, and now I think he's getting my 7th grade brother into it? They both claim that they're "taking the dog out" they never take the dog out at the same time? And they do it like.. 3 times an hour, when they get back in the house.. they don't act like their normal selves, they're ussually moody and don't talk, they only talk to each other they exclude me from everything they do.. it's kinda depressing that my brother's and I have a horrible relationship. But after they come back in they're all giggly.. they also claim they're "going to the park" sometimes.. they're 7th and 9th graders.. they're not playing on swing sets come on.. i suspect them of smoking weed because i myself used to.. and acted like they did. But, what can I do to find out if they do, how do i make them stop? and how do I form a better relation ship with my brothers? We used to be good friends, I talk to my 7th grade brother sometimes (we joke) but my 9th grade brother seems to not like to talk to me.. (i'm in 11th grade) I think the reason is we have nothing in common.. Like he likes to act "gangsta" and i'm more casual... you know and I just hate that my brothers can't act like normal people.. considering we live in the suburbs.. I'm beggining to become worried about their futures.. anyways any advice on how i could

- create a better relation ship with my brothers
- find out if they smoke weed and get them to stop
- convince them that although we're african americans, we're not ghetto hooligans, our parents were actually born in Africa, not the ghettos of America.


Please, someone help thank you

Answer 1

If you really want a better relationship with your brothers you need to put yourself in their shoes. You say you are casual, well lets say you and your younger brother are casual and your older brother is a "gangsta" as you say. How would you feel if he constantly came to you and said "man we are african americans why are you so casual? Act normal!" I can tell you first hand that having a family member criticize you for being you makes that family member 20 times more of a douchebag and therefore he loses the respect of the people being criticized. In this case, the more you say stuff about your brothers acting weird, the more they will continue to do so and keep you more and more out of their lives. You need to come down to their level and joke with them. Ask them about some fly honeys or something.
As far as weed is concerned I used to smoke as well and I hated being called out on things when I was high or about to get high. If you really did quit then the following plan should not be a problem:
Ask your older brother if he wants to smoke. Be casual about it. (example: "hey man wassup, i know this is gonna sound stupid but i got a fatty J rolled and I was wondering if you wanna join me?") something like that. DONT CALL HIM OUT!!!!! even if he denies it. Dont go through his room and if you do and you find something DONT CALL HIM OUT!!!!! You guys are family. If anything he will respect you for actually sharing an interest with him. Dont actually have a joint rolled because if the plan backfires you dont want any incriminating evidence on you if mama comes knockin'. If he comes clean talk to him about it. Swap some good stoner stories, and explain to him the consequences of smoking and why you quit.
For the third part of your question im afraid I cant give you advice on. Its nearly impossible to convince someone not to act a certain way. If your brothers want to act ghetto then you have to deal with it and if they get into some trouble or fall in with a wrong crowd then you must intervene. For now they have each other to keep themselves in check and that brings them closer. If you respect them and show it instead of always coming down on them you might see a change in their view of you. I hope I was able to help you and my final piece of advice to you is that if you are patient and use your eyes, ears, and a bit of good logic your relationship with your brothers will most surely change for the better. Just remember to flip perspectives with them and see the world through their eyes every now and again.

Answer 2

Look I know that you have been told your whole life that drugs are bad umk. And yes most of them are about when it comes to weed I really don't have the same issues that i have with other stuff. I think that If he wants to do it to relax and he is not showing any signs of abuse or addictive behavior then its OK. I know that a lot of people are not going to agree with me but of all the drugs out there it is the least hurtful one as in harming yourself and others. So try talking to your brother about it and see what he has to say.

Answer 3

Finding out if they smoke weed....why do you want to know? The more you probe, the more they'll resent you. Assume they do...sounds that way. Let it go. You used to smoke and grew out of it....so did I. But that isn't to say you can't watch them and make sure they stay on track.

You sound like you are envious of their relationship. They're close in age, so likely have more in common. Don't resent that. They're at a difficult age. Just try to find common interests with them...things you can do together. Be the cool, older brother--give them rides when they want to go somewhere.

They'll come around. Be a good influence on them and they'll get on the right path, including recognizing their heritage. You can try to talk to them about serious stuff, but tread lightly. You aren't their father.

Good luck !

Answer 4

People who do drugs go on an emotional rollar coaster. You should look at both of their eyes to see if they are dialated, red, or just different. You should give them space when they dont act like themselves but when they seem normal try to talk. Dont be all up in there business just little conversation starters. Talk about how all of the music artist talk about doing stuff that people frown upon. Tell them they are better than that, they can still be cool without acting ghetto. They would probably be respected by even more trouble. Dont bring up that they dont act normal because of the emotional roller coaster they could be on. When you find out tell your mom, dad, or guardian. Dont go to the police first.
I wish you lots of luck.

Answer 5

Ah, the brothers are smoking the gandi man - well, what to do - what to do - well I'm afraid to tell you - there is nothing you can do - they are at a age where they will not be llistening to anyone - just going with the flow. What's important is for them to stay out of trouble - that's a more difficult question - perhaps another time.

Don't approve, but don't hate them either - they are your brother for crying out loud - and who knows they could turn out to be lawyers and doctors, so the adolescence experimentation is just a part of their life - it happened to you - it happens to most of us. - just keep a sisterly love and watch out for them - but NEVER get it for them - that a NONO.

Don't fink to the folks, they would freak, and that would be bad for everyone - including you - so keep cool and just let it pass - if you see it getting into more dangerous drugs then ACT. Then you've got to someone else involved.

Answer 6

look, im not trying to get a thumbs down or make you mad, but your brothers are at a prime age to start experimenting with weed. you really shouldnt be too concerned because at least isn't it meth. or coke. weed is just a natural drug that calms, relaxes, and opens your mind a bit to make you understand life...and to tell you the truth, sometimes it is for the better that some people smoke weed. dont be too worried about it.it is just weed.

Answer 7

Check out their eating habits...if they are smoking weed they will get the "munchies"...they will crave sweets\or really anything that is readily available for consumption. Once you've determined that then I would make subtle comments about their behavior using their lingo to let them know, that, you know and try to build a bridge of communication with them from where they are without you compromising on your principles...but the bottom line is that until they believe that you are one of them (in term of you being able to identify where they are)..they will not listen to much that you will have to say...I Know that they are your brothers..you job is to make them your friends,then try to influence them from that angle..at that age the most common influences in our lives are our "friends".

Answer 8

Next time they go to the park call the police and say there's some kids smoking weed in the park.

The cops should scare them enough to stop.

Answer 9

warn him that he will be send to rehabilation center or something like that I am not sure with the spelling . Talk to hhim but be gentle atbeggining because at this age they do what we dont ask to do . So be careful . Talk to him and tell what it could lead him to . There is time for everything but too early is too bad . As they are young one thing that you can use to threathen or stop them doing is making them fear ... young people fear alot so try this . make them fear .

Answer 10

Your suspicions may be right, but there's a good chance you don't know all of whats going on. Try to talk to your brothers about it. If they admit to smoking or refuse to answer your questions, tell your parents or another trusted adult. It's not "tattle-taling" since it is for your brothers' benefit and he could be harming himself.