Does it sometimes seem that society has a problem with introverted people?

Question

I ask this because I am an introvert, and people sometimes seem to want me to change. I don't understand why. I have a quiet nature, but I can have a good conversation if I have something good to talk about.

Answer 1

The problem is not introversion by and in itself, but rather the extroverts' perceptions of them. Many extroverts have difficulty understanding introverts. An extrovert who loves being around other people constantly, for instance, may feel personally put out when an introvert prefers to be alone for awhile instead of spending time with the extrovert's crowd of acquaintances. Or, the introverts can be perceived by the extroverts as boring when they decide to spend Friday night at home with a good book instead of going out clubbing. The reason others want you to change is because they feel(albeit wrongly) that you would be happier if you did. But as long as you are okay with yourself, I wouldn't worry.

Answer 2

I've noticed that too. Today's society, especially western society, is inclined to believe that a person must be outgoing or there is something wrong w/ them. This can force people to try to change themselves, putting them in ackward positions, other times a person who's introverted can learn from this peer-pressure induced experience by voicing their opinions more often while retaining their quiet and observant nature. I believe there should be a balance, b/c you can't keep everything inside of you, but again I know wat you mean. Introverted people often place higher value on quality (1 good coversation vs. several small ones). Looking on the positive side, I have heard the opinion that introverted people are wiser as they think before they talk.

Answer 3

I agree with you on this. I'm an introvert too and even my family, in the past, has put me on the spot. Somebody would say at the dinner table, "say something intelligent, Julie." And this was because I just wasn't talking and was into myself. It's been a few years now that that has happened. The last time it did, I just finally spoke up and said that I didn't appreciate that and that I wanted them to not say that to me again. That took a lot of courage too.

Don't you think that we as introverts happen to be better able to empathize with others whether they are like us or not.

In the past I've been uncomfortable about being so introverted, but slowly I've begun to accept it and make peace with it. In doing so that has actually made me feel a bit more comfortable in talking with people. Not with everybody, but with most. It's definitely a process of learning to live with ourselves the way we are.

We're a great bunch aren't we! :)

Answer 4

I see where you could make a fair argument for that. People seem to have trouble relating to introverts if they aren't that way themselves. Personally, I think it has something to do with high school and cliques. You have to be amazingly self-possessed to be quiet and withdrawn in high school and still be considered cool. Since most teenagers are anything but self-possessed, most introverted kids get labeled nerds and are socially "unacceptable". Even when people grow up and learn better, it can be hard to shake those initial perceptions, that people who prefer their own company or who don't have much to say are "wrong" in some way and need help, be it cheering up, socialization, what have you.

Thanks for the thought-provoking question. I have to say, I've never really considered this, but I'm glad I have now.

Answer 5

Type A people do not understand introverts. They see them as malfunctioning in some way. Therefore, they feel that introverts should be reclaimed somehow. Brought out of their shell.
As if introverts want it that way.
Many of us introverts prefer to be the quiet one in the corner. Observing.
Then, as you say, if there is something worth becoming animated about, then yes, we can be outspoken.

Just endure the derisive sneers and give a knowing nod to that wallflower across the room.

Answer 6

Yes I believe so. This could be due to television and the media. Advertising people seem to need to be entertainment. Or some other natural inbred instinct maybe? I do want to assure you that some people can appreciate having quieter more introverted people around.

Answer 7

seems like a conformity issue. others sometimes have a strong need for you to be like them...makes everyone feel more secure to have people acting the same way. plus, sometimes an introvert can scare others because there can be an automatic and incorrect assumption that an introvert is silent because he/she is up to no good. my opinion is to be who you are and let others know how you are. that removes ignorance as a reason for dealing incorrectly with you.

Answer 8

This seems fair to me. As introverts, we have more than a little bit of a problem with society and wish it would change too. I think this tension is natural.

The truth is, it makes people a little uneasy to face the unknown...and as introverts we inhabit an entire world no one else can see. Understanding is comforting, they're just wishing you were more accessible. (Sadly, not generally because they care, but because it makes them feel better.)

Answer 9

Is it me or are you able to read my mind? I am an introvert too and people ALWAYS assume that I'm a snob. People attitudes about us gets worse when we become adults, then they really talk about ya! I go through it everyday in my life and it makes me depressed that people will judge me like that. I'm just like you...when I have something to say I will say it otherwise, why get into a conversation that does not interest us anyway!?

INTROVERTS RULE!!!

Answer 10

Hmmm - i am going to take this question heavily. it truly is an unlucky area of human nature to reveal hostile to those with a perceived weak point - quiet human beings can many times be centred by brash, ego-pushed human beings (who masquerade in mythology as 'Alphas' - ha, ha - who're extremely bullies), because the bullies see them as basic objectives. i might want to have stated the celebration of my daughter's boyfriend - he's a quiet guy, thoughtful and deep, and Mum even went so some distance as to assert : 'Oh, he's slightly QUIET' - as if this somehow meant he change into not as a lot as scratch not right now. I disagree - i'm a quiet guy and intensely shy interior, yet very outgoing outdoors, and that i in my opinion fee those who've that calmness and ability to easily coast alongside with no need to push human beings round. too a lot stereotyping happening there! do not worry about it. you're ideal as you're.