My friend told me she better be one of my bridesmaids how do i tell her no??

Question

I've been friends with this girl named sarah since 1st grade we are now freshman in college and she told me she better be in my wedding... My bf and i already discussed that we are having 6bridesmaids and 6groomsmen in the wedding and i already ask 6 girls... the reason i didn't ask her is because since she went away to college shes not the same girl i use to hang out with, she only calls me about once a month and hardly ever stops by anymore( I do try to call her to) please help??

Answer 1

hmm =T. she sounds kinda.. weird. how can she demand to be a bridesmaid "or else"??? that's not being a friend. what if, for example, u only wanted 2 bridesmaids, and u had 2 sisters. so u chose them, not ur best friends. do they really have a right to demand what YOU are planning for ur own wedding?

as a friend, she should understand.

she could go to u and say, i'm really disappointed u didn't choose me as a bridesmaid. i really want to do it. i know w'eve been growing apart, but i still care for u so much and want to be part of the wedding...

then u can ask her to help w/ ushering, or help plan the bachelorette party, etc. but demanding it this way is just wrong.. she is causing u added stress when it should be a joyous occasion. remember, part of it is your etiquette, and the other part is the understanding of ur close friends and family that it is YOUR day. trust me, in times liek these, people show their true colors... good luck

Answer 2

Sorry, but this girl has been a friend since 1st grade and you didn't ask her to be in your wedding? And of course she's calling less...she's in college!

Why can't you have seven bridesmaids? It isn't the end of the world if you have one extra maid. Or seven groomsmen too.

Bottom line is that if you want to keep this girl as a friend, and be a good one to her, then you better find a way to have her be a bridesmaid.

Answer 3

Don't worry about it....sound's like you have grown apart, calling someone once a month does not mean you are close friends, people change and move on to other friends, and best friends change over time. On the other hand if you promissed that she would be in your wedding and have still talked about it periodically then you do owe her an explanation as to why you broke that promise, but if none was made then go forward and have the girls of your choice. You could tell her she is still one of your dearest friend's and that you had a terrible time choosing but would love it if she could come and share the day with you. Congratulation's and Best Wishes to You and Your Fiance'!

Answer 4

You're just going to have to be honest with her. Let her know that she's important to you, but you've already chosen a number of other people to be bridesmaids. Don't blame it on her though - give some other reason(s), or just be a little vague about it.

It might be good to think of another way to involve her in the wedding that you could present at the same time. (Like being in charge of the guest book, etc.) That's if you even want her to be involved, that is. If you don't really want her involved anyway, you'll just have to be blunt (yet tactful) about it.

Good luck - if you approach this with tact and consideration of her feelings, and if she's understanding, it shouldn't damage your friendship.

Answer 5

If she's a true friend she'll understand once you tell her why you said no. I got a best friend I was very close to for 4 years then I got married and she moved away. We don't talk or see each other very often but we both know how we have changed and nothing would ever hurt our friendship. So if you talk to Sarah and she can't accept no for an answer she's not as good as friend as you thought she was, letting something like this ruin a friendship for all those years. Good luck!!!

Answer 6

How long have you known the other girls? I would be offended if you choose "Jonny come lately" over me and we had been friends that long. I went to college and honestley, if I called any of my home friends once a month, it was a stretch! (PS...going to college does make someone a different person...a person with all new experiences).

Answer 7

You are not obligated to anyone -- the people you chose to be in your wedding are completely up to you. And, honestly, to me, this girl seems a little demanding. People drift away, and you can try to explain that to her, but basically you have to decide if it's worth losing the friendship over.

Answer 8

I would try to wait her out. She may have just thrown the statement out there for fun. If she asks again, tell her what you said above, that your friendship isn't the same anymore, and you and your fiance had already chosen your bridal party before she asked.

Answer 9

WELL YOU HAVE BEEN FRIENDS A LONG TIME AND YOU CANT BLAME HER FOR GOING TO COLLEGE! I HOPE THE OTHER 6 FRIENDS ARE CLOSER THAN THE ONE YOU HAD WITH HER SINCE GRADE 1, IF THEY ARE NOT THEN I WOULDNT BLAME HER FOR BEING HURT, YOU SOUND PRETTY MEAN TO BE HONEST AND MAYBE ALITTLE JEALOUS OF HER. I HAD 7 BRIDESMAIDS THEY INCLUDED MY 2 OLD BEST FRIENDS FROM MY SCHOOL DAYS WHO I HADNT KEPT IN CONTACT WITH IN YEARS AS WELL AS 5 NEW FRIENDS, BUT I FELT PRIVILEDGED TO HAVE THEM ALL TAKE PART IN MY WEDDING. ONE OF THEM MARRIED A YEAR LATER AND DID NOT INCLUDE ME IN HER WEDDING PARTY AND IT DID NOT BOTHER ME, MAYBE IT WONT BOTHER HER EITHER,,,,, GOOD LUCK ANYWAY

Answer 10

By saying no you cant be in my wedding. People are losing fovus either you arwe having a gala to celebrate the love you have for your partner or having a party to please everyone in your past, future and present. and how much money did she chip in?