Please help me rephrase this in formal English8?

Question

I have translated this passage from Arabic to English, but I am not a native speaker of English.So I know that some words and expressions are wrong but I don't know how to correct them. Feel free to make any adjustments you believe are necessary.




A number of participants in the conference believe that international mechanisms will remain unable to protect the public money of the people and to hunt the corrupted ,unless reform comes from within. This should be taken into consideration when we realize that less than one third of the Arab countries have signed the International Anti-Corruption Convention.

Answer 1

Hi, Nobody--

Try this:

A number of participants in the conference believe that [the]"

(did you mention these "international mechanisms" before? If not, "the" would not be right, but if you did, it would be)

"international mechanisms will be"

(unless "remain" is an important concept in the sentence and argument)

"unable to protect the public money"

("public" and "of the people" mean the same thing and so are redundant)

"and to" (what, ---punish? Did the original really say "hunt"? That isn't quite an English construction, nor is "the corrupted." We would normally say "corruption.")

Perhaps we could say it this way:

"A number of participants in the conference believe that international mechanisms alone will be insufficient to protect the public money and to stop corruption. Reform must come from within. Since less than one-third of the Arab countries have signed the Anti-Corruption Convention, this need becomes more [real] [clear]."

Answer 2

This sounds fine to me.