Please help me rephrase this in formal English2?

Question

I have translated this passage from Arabic to English, but I am not a native speaker of English.So I know that some words and expressions are wrong but I don't know how to correct them. Feel free to make any adjustments you believe are necessary.

Each of the participating countries has tried hard to prove its good intentions. They have shed light on the efforts exerted to fight corruption in them. These efforts are mandatory eligiblity criteria to be a part of the International Anti-Corruption Convention. So far eighty countries have signed this agreement. Five of them are Arab countries; which are Egypt, Jordan, United Arab Emirates, Kuwait and Algeria.The Eurpean Union has given Jordan 300 thousand Euros to take part in the expences of this convention.

Thanks knitsfghan. That is really nice .

Answer 1

Well, Nobody, for someone with English as his second language, you do very well.

Basically it's fine. There is a rule--more like a strong suggestion--that in formal English we simplify as much as possible, so the major changes that might be made would be minor deletions of essentially unnecessary words.

Another rule is to use the active voice as often as possible instead of the passive. Your second sentence is passive. You might want to rephrase it as active.

And watching the agreement of number with antecedent is important, too. The "Each" in the first sentence doesn't quite agree with the "They" in the second, yet you haven't changed the subject of your discussion.

It would go something like this:

"Each of the participating countries has tried hard to prove its good intentions. Each has shed light on the efforts it has exerted to fight corruption in it."

[Now, if you wanted to make it all plural, that would be good, too. In that case, it might sound like this]

"The participating countries have tried hard to prove their good intentions, shedding light on the efforts they have made to fight corruption. These efforts are mandatory elegibility criteria to be a part of the International Anti-Corruption Convention. So far, eighty countries have signed this agreement, five of which are Arab countries: Egypt, Jordan, United Arab Emirates, Kuwait, and Algeria."

[That last comma after "Kuwait" is an American convention. The British don't use it. Given your history with the British--assuming that you are Arabic--you might want to use the British convention and leave it out.]

"The Euoropean Union has given Jordan 300 thousand Euros toward [ or "to pay for" or "as partial payment for"] their expenses in this convention." [It depends on what the original writer wanted to say]

There will always be an argument or two over a translation or over style, but other than these minor changes, I see absolutely nothing that needs improvement. You did very well.

Answer 2

My suggestions:

Each of the participating countries has worked towards proving its good intentions. They have shed light on the exerted efforts to combat corruption in them. These efforts are mandatory as eligiblity criteria to be part of the International Anti-Corruption Convention. Of the eighty countries that have signed this agreement thus far, five of them are Arab: Egypt, Jordan, United Arab Emirates, Kuwait and Algeria. The Eurpean Union has compensated Jordan 300,000 Euros to assist in the expense of participating in the convention.

It still seems a little worded, but that's what I'd do. It was really good to start with though. Best of luck!!!

Answer 3

Each of the participating countries have tried hard to prove good intentions. They have shed light on the efforts exerted to fight corruption within each country. These efforts are mandatory criteria for eligibility in the International Anti-Corruption Convention. So far, eighty countries have signed this agreement. Five of them are Arab countries: Egypt, Jordan, United Arab Emirates, Kuwait and Algeria. The European Union has given Jordan 300 thousand Euros to take part in the expences of this convetion.

Answer 4

Here you go:
Each of the participating countires has tried to prove its good intentions. They have shed light on the efforts exerted to fight corruption AMONG them. Theseefforts are mandatory eligiblility criteria to be a part of the International Anti-Corruption Convention. So far, eighty countries have signed this agreement. Five of them are Arab countries, which INCLUDE Egypt, Jordan, United Arab Emirates, Kuwait, and Algeria. The European Union has given Jordan 300 thousand Euros to take part in the expences of this convention.

So only a few mistakes.

Answer 5

Each of the participating countries has tried hard to prove its good intentions. Each has highlighted its own efforts to fight internal corruption, in accord with the eligibility criteria of the International Anti-Corruption Convention. There are eighty signatories to the Anti-Corruption Convention, five of them Arab countries: Egypt, Jordan, United Arab Emirates, Kuwait and Algeria. The European Union has subsidized Jordan's participation in the Convention with a gift of 300,000 Euros.

Answer 6

Well, I'm not a grammar expert. But this looks very good to me. Only changes I suggest is a comma after "So far, " and you need to be consistent with the number. It is fine to use 300,000. Anything over 10 can be written numerically.
Good job.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

its correct it doesnt need rephrasing