Terrible 1 year old.?

Question

Ok my son just turned 1 2 weeks ago. It is just insane to me how bad they can be so early on. IF he doesnt want to do something or you do something he doesnt like he bites and smacks and kicks and screams. I took him to walmart the other day and he wanted to walk and i wouldnt let him and he bit me in my face and drew blood and then smacked me. One time he got mad and smacked me in my nose and it bled for 20 mins. Any advice on what i should do. I know some of you will say hes to young for this kind of behavior but he knows what he is doin. He knows when he does something wrong because if you catch him he will run from you or laugh. Only serious answers please.

Answer 1

I hope you are kidding, you can't effectively discipline a kid before the are at least 2 years old. You need to be patient and nonviolent and take reasonable steps to protect your safety without punishing the child. It is not hard to prevent a one year old from hurting you.

PHYISICAL DISCIPLINE OR FORCED ISOLATION (TIMEOUT) WILL MOST LIKELY INCREASE THE BEHAVIOR OR CAUSE EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS AT THIS AGE!

Honestly, It sounds like your kid is not getting enough sleep. It may also help to take a parenting class.

Answer 2

Oooh, this is going to take some really hard work. You will need to get his behavior under control and it won't be easy. The best thing on your side is his size -- you can pick him up, set him down and physically keep him in a chair.

The first concept you will have to get across to him is that you are the boss. Right now that point is not as clear as it needs to be. Even at his age, he can understand more than most people give little ones credit for. You will have to speak with him very plainly. He may not know exactly what your words are, but he will understand your tone and get the idea that something is changing.

Next you have to be specific about behavior that is ok and not ok. You'll have to work on your parenting strength and use your physical strength at the same time. For example, when you are at a store and he wants to walk but you want him in the cart, tell him firmly and lovingly "I know you'd like to walk, honey, but right now Mommy's got to shop and you need to sit here in the cart." You'll have to physically hold him so he does not have the opportunity to bite or hit you. This will be embarrassing because people will turn and look at a screaming child and your son will probably scream for a while until he learns the behavior you expect from him.

Without trying to ignore or shout over him, you can tell him that this behavior is not ok. Be specific in asking for what you expect. Say "You need to sit in the cart for a little while and be quiet. Then we will go home and you can have a cup of juice." (or whatever the situation will be)

The goal is to teach him gently but firmly what behavior is ok and what is not. It's important to be as loving and patient as you can manage. Do your best not to let your temper get the better of you (this can be difficult). Acknowledge what he wants and let him have it when possible, ideally as a reward for good behavior.

You will have to keep this up as long as it takes. Eventually your son will get the idea that he will not get any benefit from misbehaving. When he starts to do what you want, praise him and be specific about that too. "You were nice and quiet in the store today. That was very good!" Smile and give him some nice physical contact, like a hug or kiss. Do the best you can at being consistent with rewards for good behavior and curbing the negative.

He is still young enough to adapt to the new rules.

Best of luck to you!

Answer 3

I have a son who is of similar temperament...they're called strong willed children and they are a handfull! I highly recommend a book called "The Strong Willed Child" by James Dobson. He is a christian writer, but the majority of the book deals with 1)understanding WHAT is going on in their little heads and 2)the importance of the parent establishing clear boundaries through loving discipline. He also tells you what is appropriate discipline for the different ages.

Basically, this book saved my life! I realized it was my responsibility to teach him boundaries and consequences. If I don't who will? You son TOTALLY knows what he's doing so he will understand the consequence to the action. Dobson calls it "Challenge the Chief" and he's winning. If you don't read the book, then at least start some sort of warning/punishment system...he's not too young for that. And be consistent, even if that means leaving a cart full of groceries to take him to the car for a time out! Good luck...I know how difficult it is.

Answer 4

Try reading aloud (together) one of the outstanding books that describe potty use as a part of growing up. My favorite is Toilet Learning by Alison Mack. Illustrations of fire fighters, doctors, baby sitters, and parents all going to the bathroom will delight and educate your child. Watching the same-sex parent or older sibling in the bathroom reinforces this process.


Buying fun new underwear for them can act as further encouragement.


If your child seems to be afraid of the toilet itself, then gradually acclimatize him or her to the potty. Have them sit on one of the little potties fully clothed for a few minutes each day while you read or tell them a story. When that becomes old hat, take the diaper off so they can sit on it just like Dad and Mom.


Begin putting the contents of their dirty diapers in the potty so they can see what happens. Then give them the opportunity to run around bare-bottomed so they can try to go on the potty if they want.


If your child is afraid of failure, it is paramount that when he or she does make a mistake, your response is not an exasperated or a punishing one. Instead say something like, "Oops, there it went. Someday soon they're all going to land in the potty. We'll try again." Let them know that accidents are okay and that he or she will ultimately succeed.


When they do get something in the potty, leave it there for them to admire. Congratulate them warmly, but don't get too excited or they will feel more pressure.


If children begin holding their stool in, the stool can become hard. It will be important to soften the stool using either diet or a gentle medicine from your doctor.


During the toilet training process, it can be comfortable and convenient for children to wear pull-ups, but for some, this can slow the process by minimizing comfort as a motivating force.


Physical readiness for potty training often occurs around the time that children develop strong oppositional behavior - you say, "yes," they say, "no!" You say, "red," they say, "blue!" This underlying negativity is the final powerful force affecting potty training. Thankfully, this begins to fade at about age three. Still, if you tell them, "This is what you've got to do," their natural, healthy response is "no," because they are in the process of developing their unique, independent personality. Potty training is not an area to enter into any kind of battle. You will always lose; everyone involved will lose. Instead, minimize the issue and make it quite clear that this is for them - in their timing - and not for you. Help teach them how to do it, but don't push and don't punish.

Answer 5

Honey you need to now set rules and abide by them. Watch Super Nanny for some great ideas. The #1 Rule of raising children is being consistent. If you tell them you will or won't do something you have to follow through. I'm from the old school where I think a good old butt busting is all it takes. These modern folks are against spanking and I think that is why our babies have deteriorated. Put him in time out and keep him there for awhile. Every time he gets up sit him down again. He'll get the message soon enough. You may first want to tell his doctor what you told us to see if there is any medical reason for his behavior.

Answer 6

What is your response to his behavior? Watch Nanny 911, you need more help than I can say in one paragraph. do not tolerate his behavior. There must be consequenses for his behavior. When he does any of those things, you put him in the chair for 15 minutes and take away priveleges for the next few hours til he regains self control.

Before you give him back his privelege or let him out of the chair, remind him of why he is being scolded.

Answer 7

Wow I think you have a real problem that needs to be corrected ASAP before it gets totally out of hand. First of all my little one is 18 months and went through the violence thing around 13 months... she is over it now, but not without drawing some blood too. I think it is mainly because they are inbetween learning basic communication, and wanting to communicate, but not knowing how, is a big problem. I swat my cat when she does something she's not supposed to, and because my little one saw I did that 2 months ago, she will still do it today. She will be nice and pet it gently till she gets bored with it, and swats it and yells ";go" just because I did it once. Children are very impresionable.
We where in the mall and a father hit his child, she then ran up to the child and hit him while yelling "bad". I do not hit my child, and we do not watch violence on the TV for obvious reasons. It is very easy for a child to pick up on even some one play fighting as real violence, and an okay thing to do. I think if you give him a few months, and tell him it is bad to hit while you are waiting... he will grow out of it. My husband would put our daughters hand on "time out" if she hit him in a real rage, he would just hold her hand and not let go for 3 minutes... really bugs her, and she learned that if she hit, she would have to have her hand in time out, thus solving the problem so far. Good luck with your little one, and I hope all this helped.

Answer 8

Wow. I am the mom of a 19 month old and am amazed at the behavior of your son. You are absolutely right - he does know what he's doing. This means you can - and must - discipline him before he gets even worse. Time outs are definitely worthwhile. My son does have tiny temper tantrums once in a while and if becomes inconsolable then I put him in his crib for a few minutes to calm down. He has hit me in the face twice and both times I have grabbed his hand and told him "No, you do not hit" in a very firm voice - at which point he cried and put his head down, knowing he did something wrong. Does your son act like this with anyone else? Please try to nip it now before it gets worse. My prayers are with you :-)

Answer 9

My 15 month old daughter can be bratty sometimes too. At this age, toddlers know what they want and start figuring out how to get it. My daughter also gets angry and may try to bite if I won't let her walk through a store. The best thing you can do is to be consistent at all times. Letting him walk through one store makes him think he can walk through every store. Just don't let him do it at all. If he acts up, then remove him from the situation as soon as possible.

Answer 10

I think he needs some discipline. My parents did spank me and I respected them and knew right from wrong. I think that discipline is the only way to get him to know right from wrong. I would use spanking because I know it works but if you dont believe in it or whatever then do the time out method.

Answer 11

OH MY GOD.

Sounds like he rules the house.

Next time he does something bad, grab his hands, lower your voice and say "we do NOT HURT". Then put him on a time out chair. He must sit there for 1 minute for each year old he is (1 minute). Do not talk to him. Do not look at him. If he gets up, he gets 1 more minute.

You are not being mean. You are teaching your child.

At the end of the time out. Approach him, and say "we do NOT HURT other people". Make him apologize. Give you a hug and a kiss.

Do this everytime until he stops (normally on the third time).