How many think that alone time is needed in a relationship?

Question

I am currently in a relationship and am dating a "needy girl" who wants me every minute of the day, she even wants me to spend the night 4 days out of the week at her parents house, but I just recently told her that I can only stay the weekends(Saturday&Sunday), 2 reasons I like my alone time and also I like being in my own home instead of someone elses, am I wrong for wanting alone time in a relationship, also when my girlfriend moves in there won't be this hanging out Saturday nights at the bar with all the other guys from work till early morning hours, I can't have any time to myself, should I just break off the relationship and find someone who will let me at least have all my alone time or maybe I am more for single life then being with someone right now.

Answer 1

It sounds like you have conflicting needs and/or personalities. Neither of you is right or wrong, you're just different. She is too controlling for your taste. You can't or are unwilling to give her what she wants.

I would suggest you force some space but keep communication and respect open.

For what it's worth, this is coming from a woman who is actually very much LIKE your girlfriend. I am very needy, and was frustrated and hurt by men until I found one who wanted to give me what i needed. His personality is much like mine -- same neediness, expectations, wants, etc. -- I give tons to him, and he to me.

Find someone who wants the same balance in a relationship as you.

God bless you!

Answer 2

Yes, alone time is important for your sanity, and hers. This is really common in women, though. My advice is:
1. Never ask if it's ok to do something...she will expect you to always ask permission and she will say "yes" even when she says "no"
2. Encourage her to have alone time by suggesting things she likes to do (my boyfriend offers to give me money to go to the mall sometimes)
3. ALWAYS be nice when approaching her with alone time (such as a guy's night) - say something like "Honey, it would make me really happy if I went out with the guys tommorrow night" instead of "I'm going and I don't care what you think" If she cares about you, she will understand if it means a lot to you.
4. Make plans for when you get back ("we'll rent a movie when I get home" so she'll have something to look forward to
5. When first starting, give notice. Since she's used to having you around all the time, she will be upset if you spring a guy's night on her at the last minute (no time to process)

Answer 3

Alone time is important in a relationship. Seems to me that your GF has unresolved issues concerning "neediness" and fear of abandonment. She's afraid to let go for fear you wont come back and she prolly doesn't realize that in doing what she's doing, she is pushing you away so that you wont want to come back. I think she isn't ready for an adult relationship, but maybe neither are you. You can try to explain to her that alone time is just as important as time together. Compromise towards mutual contentment is the key. Ultimately, time will tell whether or not you will be able to work things out.

Answer 4

Sounds like she is the clingy type and you are the free spirit. Neither of you would probably ever change, and even if either of you do, you've simply just met at the right place at the wrong time.

I vote you dump her and either be single for a while (while being honest with the women you are dating) or find someone with whom you are more compatible. However, I should warn you that because she's a bit clingy, she may also be a bit psycho. Remove all bushes surrounding your home.

Answer 5

Its neccessary to have alone time any sane person would need that. You shouldnt have to end your relationship because of it though you need to explain it to your girlfriend in a way she can understand. Even when you do move i n with a girl there should be noreason you cant still go out and enjoy yourself all a girl needs is some love and attention any one who demands that 100% of the time is expecting the impossible.you can be with someone, encourage your girlfriend to take up other things then being with you, like going out with friends or something sounds like she focuses all her time on you and nothing else.good luck with that.

Answer 6

There is definitely nothing wrong with needing, wanting, and insisting on having alone time or pursing other interests without your significant other. In fact, I would say it is very unhealthy to put all you have into one person. If she cannot respect your feelings and accept your limits, then going separate ways may be the only answer. Encourage her to hang out with her friends and pursue her own interests as well. Even marriage does not change a person's need to have their own time. Good luck and stick to your convictions.

Answer 7

alone time is definitely needed. It allows you to appreciate the other more. your gf is insecure and may continue to be forever. I dated someone like that and in the end it didn't work out. ultimately you gotta do what's right for you. you should talk it out first, but if it continues to happen, it will become more of a burden and will lead to an unhealthy relationship.

Answer 8

Alone time is important. Otherwise you tend to "lose yourself" because you're so caught up in the relationship. Set your boundaries, keep in touch with all your friends..don't blow them off just because you have a girlfriend, keep participating in your old hobbies. Most importantly, remain the same person you were BEFORE the relationship.

Answer 9

She had better be worth the effort, or you will drive yourself crazy.

I have been married 31 years, and would have packed it in long ago, if we hadn't mutually agreed to alone time, and some separate friends and time apart.

Too much of anything is bad, including someone you love!

Answer 10

Sounds like if you want to be alone you should be. You are not ready for a relationship. Everyone needs their alone time, however, you should not want to put your "guy" friends before your girlfriend. She may not be the right one.