I met my now husband online. I moved here the same day his 19 year old son moved to another state. It has been almost 3 years and he keeps quitting jobs, never has made it on his own since he has been there. Last night after my husband saying he was done, he still sent him money. This is a bad thing. My husband gets so upset that he won't talk to me for days. I always listen for his body to hit the thump on the ground. Not good for him. But, it is getting to where I am the one who suffers the most. What do I do? How do I find an equal ground? I call them the Andrew days. The days that he is so pissed and stressed about his son that he won't even talk to me. Any advice at all would be awesome.
2007-01-05 11:26:57 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Fake your own death.
Blood is thicker than water; you are always going to come second to his son, and he will only resent your interference.
Next time, marry someone you know.
2007-01-05 11:36:14 · answer #1 · answered by uknowhoo 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can try talking to the step-son just so he knows what his actions are doing to his father but you can't tell him in a scornful or parenting tone. For one he is already an adult, whether or not his actions show that. Another is that you are the step-parent that came into the picture way late. You have got to go through your husband. Counseling, talking to a preacher, which ever is best in your situation. If he is sending excessive amounts of money (parents always have a certain amount of duty to their children, but not to support them in a way that is enables the child to take care of themself) or the way he takes his stress out on you alone warrants maybe you leaving for a while so he can see what his son is doing to him and his life. It's not something you should have to put up with and I'm a step-child myself so my saying that this is unfair to you really does mean something. Tell your husband that old saying, "Give me a fish and you feed me for a day, teach me to fish and you feed me for a lifetime." Your husband will not always be around for your step-son to fall back on.
2007-01-05 11:43:12 · answer #2 · answered by 2007 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would sit my husband down and explain to him that his son is an adult that makes his own choices. You should tell him exactly how you feel and what you want. It is time you both focused on your marriage. The son needs to learn what is like to have to fend for himself. He will never learn otherwise. Give your husband some time to change and if he is still choosing the son maybe you should think about how much you really want to be married to someone like that.
2007-01-09 03:38:12 · answer #3 · answered by Should be Working! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a hard one. you can try to tell him he is just helping his son stay the way he is by giveing him money andhis son wont stop asking for money till he says no.
2007-01-05 12:05:17 · answer #4 · answered by Lil lady 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋