terrible toddler?

Question

My son is almost 2 and completely tries to disobey everything I say.He never listens to me when I say no or swat him on the butt if he is doing what he knows he shouldn't.He laughs at me when I correct him and the more I do correct him the more he does what he should not.He always obeys his dad though-my hubby has to say NO 1 time and our son obeys.Any advice or experience would be greatly appreciated.
Also-I am 33 weeks pregnant and will have my hands full with a disobedient toddler and a newborn!

Answer 1

It's called the terrible twos! LOL. It's when the human brain is developing independence for the first time. It's a logical progression for the child to act up that way because he has learned how to manipulate things as a survival mechanism.

Sounds like you are taking him way to personal if you are swatting him. You have to watch "The Nanny" on TV and learn secrets on how to handle toddlers who go through this.

It's truly an eye opener to see how they comply when you stick to your guns by repeating the same discipline over and over again. Such as a time out every time they act up when they need to comply. If you are wishy washy about it, they'll roll all over the floor and start to cry forever.

Your husband should be understanding to watch him so that you can have quiet time with a family friend for some tea and conversation once a week.

Otherwise, you can find yourself becoming socially inept and saying gaga goo goo in adult social situations if you stay in the wood work too long.

The good news is that this stage in your sons development will pass.

Answer 2

You are not showing your son athority. He will respect your husband but not you, so there is an inconsistence to how you punish. You must be firm in your punishment. To a 2 year old,,, try placing him in time out by sitting him on a chair in the corner for a given amount of time. Provide a clock so he can watch the time also. Stand over him and make sure he stays in position without playing. If he refuses, MAKE him sit and add time. DO NOT let him up earlier than the time you set for him. If he fusses let him. When his time is up talk with him about what he did wrong the best you can to a 2 year old. If he talks back after his punishment or continues to repete the problem or laugh,,, he is testing you and you should not allow it, provide an additional punishment. Time out is only one for of punishment that is effective if used correctly, look into other forms that will be effective to his personality. Swatting on the butt doesn't help, exspecially if he laughs,,, all you did was show him he can get away with murder with only a slap on the hand.

Answer 3

Congratulations on your growing family.

I am sorry you are having a hard time. Looks like your son is trying to misbehave inorder to get your attention.

With the new baby coming, your son might be feeling left out or jealous. However, he does not have words to express it. So far he always had you for sure, but now, with a belly, you must be physically cautious with him ( no jumping in your lap etc).

Every day, try spending structured time with him, either cuddling or doing some art and craft. Give him attention for good things he does. If swatting is not working, do not for some time. Spanking / swatting is a disciplining measure best used seldomly. Try using timeouts in another room as a punishment ( max 2 minutes at a time). That way, if he misbehaves, he does not get attention.

Also, try someone in the family to help you out with the toddler. Grandparents are great.

Good luck and I hope it gets better.

Answer 4

I know it's tough when you're that pregnant, but!! You have to do a supernanny move on this little guy, and fast....

pick out a naughty corner, and when he acts up, put him in it for 2 minutes. If he tries to leave, YOU (not dad) put him back, 17 times in a row if you have to, but you have to win the fight. Stop the butt swatting, the time out is the thing that will work, if you make damn sure he actually does it.

Supernanny had a kid that took an hour and a half to do his three minutes the first time... second time, half an hour to get him to stay there... 3rd time, he just did the punishment and it was all over. Stick to your guns! He has to listen to you, what if you're juggling the new baby and trying to walk across a street or parking lot, he'll end up dead. Fix this now.

And dad needs to start telling him to do what mommy says, and back your play.

Answer 5

Nanny 911!!

Here to save the day! Okay for the discipline part. Start an easy chart. Construction paper ect. Everytime your little toddler does something good give him a point. ( make it fun by making a point be something he likes. Say he likes fish ) give him one fish for everything he does that extra good. Such as helping set the table, saying please and thankyou - little kid stuff. Remove a point everytime he does something bad. Make sure you show him that what happenes when little boys disobey there mommys. You have to use smaller baby words with a kid his age. If you yell at him he finds it funny. So hold back the temper and try to work it out. If he doesnt care about losing a point, you need to reward him more with the GOOD things he does not the BAD. For instance - if he get 10 points give him a cookie or something, 20 points he can play an extra 30 minutes of his favorite video game,bike riding, ect. When dealing with a smaller child you need to echnolege the smaller GOOD things he does. So he will try and be better. If he continues to disobey go straing to discipline, such as time-outs, no desert, no toys, or go to bed early. Never go to bed with out dinner. My parents did the ONCE and it was bad. A child needs to have enough food in their system, helps to make them less cranky. Start your mornings off kind and happy. Dont discipline him for every little small thing he does bad. Only paddle him or as you say " swat his on the butt " when he does something extra bad such as yell at you, slap you or a house pet, ect. If you have a pet in your home such as a dog, or cat make sure he knows what happens if he just so happens to treat that pet badly. If he hits the animal for NO REASON what-so-ever. Give him a " swat on the butt " just as he did to the animal so he knows how it feels. They always say you can tell how a child will be when he grows up by the way he treats animals at a young age. Hope I Helped.

- Deanna ( This Was All Hand Typed. No Copy and Print )

Answer 6

I lived with my 3 year old cousin for about 7 months. They both seem to have similar problems. My cousin would never listen to my aunt, though he would listen to my uncle. So we decieded to set rules down for him, because he ran wild. We used the "naughty" chair which actually for for some time. Until he got bored of it and challenged my aunt even more. We created a "paddle" although we never used it, just threatened, but that didn't seem to work either. If you are very constant with the chair and don't slack off it should work. Another thing is that we gave him "warnings"? EX. If you don't stop jumping on the couch, then you are going to have to go in time out. (Or to bed) We used if-then statements a lot and that seemed to quiet him down.

Another thing is that he could be just bored of it. I know this sounds mean, but try to put him in a daycare once a week to be with other kids his age. If you don't want to spend money take him to library activities and sit with him and spend time.

My cousin was exactly the same. He still gets out of control sometimes, but my aunt and uncle finally bonded with him and gave him more attention. Since he is an only child and both his parents work he was striving for attention from his parents. Even if it was negative attention, it was still attention.

Good luck! I hope this helps!

Answer 7

We have a 17 month old and she is the same way. She loves to disobey her mother, no matter what. I think it is in the way you say it. My old lady will get loud, but her punctuation is all wrong. When I get on her about stuff, I try to make the words explode out of my mouth. She jumps every time I say NO. I think that she believes that I mean it when I say it. Her mom just says "no" a little louder than normal.

Answer 8

He is learning his independence. He is also learning that if he wants mommy's attention the has to do something that would get you to say no. Try doing something when he starts to act up like getting a book, or giving him things he can do. Also, when you say no and he still does it then put him in his room or his crib for a few minutes. Just remember that as he explores he is learning about his world for the first time. Everything is still new and exciting to him.

Don't worry about juggling two. It will come naturally. You will learn as your family grows.

Answer 9

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Answer 10

welcome to the terrible two's the stage before the tourtious three's...Oh my I remember the laughing stage. Seemed everytime I punished my kids they would laugh. Drove me nuts. The best advice is just being consistant. And to the one who suggested the dog collar. Hope your kidding or hope the jail cell is nice and warm. The two teenybopper parents who did that I am sure is keeping their cell warm for you....