How can I stay as drunk as possible without vomiting?

Question

I was a teetotaler my entire life until my girlfriend left me. Now I am experimenting with alcohol for the first time and am having some trouble.

I bought some wine because I wanted to have a romantic evening with my adult files, but I drank too much and I couldn't get an erection anymore and then I eventually fell out of my chair and fractured of my chair and fractured my T7 vertebrae. Now the doc says I have to be very careful or it could break and that would screw my back up something awful. Plus I dislocated the T6 also :( The I vomited all over my floor and the landlord says I have to buy new carpet now, plus I thought I was going to die when I was vomiting an d my rectum got a little prolapsed when I was gagging from all the strain.

So how do I know how much to drink in order to get drunk but still able to have an erection, without passing out? Also whenever I get a little drunk and then don't keep on sipping I lose the buzz. How can I keep the buzz & punish my liver? thx

Answer 1

Well there are a few things to remember.

1) Eat about a 1/2 hour before drinking. Don't eat during and after drinking. A pizza is a perfect meal before drinking (bread is good). Don't over eat.

2) Stay away from alcohol with high sugar content like wine and fruity mixed drinks. A clear alcohol like vodka mixed with club soda is always best.

3) Allow 2 hours between 4 drinks to build up to your maximum buzz. That should be about a pint of vodka and no more.

4) To nicely maintain the buzz for a couple of hours, switch to drinking beer. Take it slow, sip about 1 beer every 45 minutes. That's all you need to do to maintain your buzz.

5) Stop drinking after 3 beers. Drink a couple of big glasses of water with some alka selzter and do not eat or go to bed.

6) Stay up 2 hours and let your buzz wear off before going to sleep.

7) Chew 3-4 aspirin right before bed.

Keep in mind, everyone's weight and tolerances will be different. Most guys 170lbs or more should be OK with the aforementioned amount of alcohol. Women, especially petite women, should cut this alcohol amount in half.

Following these steps will not only allow you to acheive maximum buzz without "hurling chunks", you will wind up waking up the next morning with little or no hangover. Pacing yourself, while avoiding hi-sugar and food intake is the key.

Answer 2

sounds very romantic, find some even better adult files, candles next time, and some lotion, maybe tie yourself up if you like that sort of thing, don't tie the knots too tight until or unless you trust yourself.

Then get a case of Guinness, for me, a 230 pound man, maybe drink one every 90 minutes. If you look at what legally drunk is, you would see I would NEVER get drunk at that rate. Try something like that for sustained optimal drunkenness.

Answer 3

Yes, it is possible to have a stomach virus & have only diarrhea and not nausea or vomiting. However, if you're still having cramps you should have a doctor check you to make sure nothing else is going on.

Answer 4

I have a remedy for you that invloves a padded room, a jacket that zips in the back and 24-hour care.

Answer 5

dude it`s not hard when you fill like you are going to vomit eat some bread. when you do that it will soke up some of the alcohol. and then you start drinking again. it work`s for me. hope it work`s for you. and tell your landlord **** happen`s.

Answer 6

Just get another girlfriend instead of porn magazines and quit self-medicating with alcohol! Grow Up!!!

Answer 7

This is seriously the funniest thing I have read in a long time.

Answer 8

LOL. I think you need to go back to being a teetotaller.

Answer 9

The more you can eat the more you can drink and stay more sober

Answer 10

that is the funniest, most pathetic thing i have ever heard