is 15 years too much?

Question

If you are in love, and it is a real connection... can a 20 year old and 35 year old work? / moral aspects of it... I know a lot of people will say age is just a number, and that is an easy way of thinking about it... but imagine if your 20 year old sister came in saying she was dating someone 35... how would you feel then?

Answer 1

Its a pretty big age gap, but if the girl is younger the maturity difference won't be as big if the guy was younger. The only problem I could see, is that you both might be on a different page when it comes to what you want to do with your life at this time.

Answer 2

I disagree with the person above - I think there is more of a problem with a 15 year age difference when the people are 20 and 35 vs. 35 and 50. A 20 year old isn't even able to drink legally, or rent a car, etc. Why, WHY, would a 35 year old want to date a 20 year old - that is the question. These people are at two totally different places in life. The 20 year old has never done the whole bar scene, is probably still in school, may have never had a full time job, etc. A 35 year old did that stuff 10 years ago and is most likely over it by now. A 35 year old is most likely dating a 20 year old purely based on physical attraction. And if, at 35 years old, you're (not you personally, but whoever) you haven't moved past dating people purely based on looks, that is pretty pathetic.

Also, a 20 year old female is not ready for marriage, even if she thinks she is. Did you know research has shown marital success to be positively related to the age at which the female got married?

Answer 3

Depends on who is 20 and who is 35. If the guy were 20 I'd say NO WAY in a flash....I wouldn't even recommend marrying a guy until he is in his 30s. By then he will have sewn his wild oats and you will more or less know the type of man you are dealing with. A guy that is 20 still has yet to discover himself and the chances of his cheating are greater, or at the very least he will be bound to more depression. I think everyone needs to live a little and get to know themselves. In this day and age people should not rush into permanent relationships and drag kids into it. Life is too complicated, it's too difficult to earn an income and raise a child. You may say pooey but mark my words it will be true whether you want to believe it or not.

Chances are if a girl dates someone that is 35, whether it works or not she will likely find younger guys immature after that, but if the 35 was immature anyhow...still I don't think they should date with so many years in between them, but then hey, you can't tell people their business and they will do whatever they want anyhow.

If they are both decent people with good heads on their shoulders I'm sure they will find a way to make things work if they are really serious about each other and in that case age really shouldn't be much of a factor.

Answer 4

I think that would be a bit to much for the 20 yr old. the 35 yr old has been through what she's about to go through. She's going to need at least 5 more yrs of life exp. Also SOMETIMES not all the time, when there is a age gap that big, and the woman is that young...he can tell her anything...just because he's been there and she hasn't.
Now if the woman was, I'll say 30 and the man 45, then it's a little diff...just because of life exp.
I'm over 30 and my fiance is over 40...but we're both in that settling stage and we have had enough of clubs. now it's just us and the kids.

Answer 5

Honestly, if my cousin Catie (no sibs, sorry) came to me and told me she was dating someone 15 years older, of course I would be skeptical. There's society playing in again, I suppose. I try thinking that an age is a number... but it's harder. A 20 year old is looking at life (in general) differently than a 35 year old. 20 year olds want fun, party, freedom. A 35 year old wants (again, in general) a family, plans. It may be hard.
So yea, I would feel odd. Until I got to know the person. Only then can you make a true decision I suppose.

Answer 6

Don't judge him by his age, judge him by his character. Does he seem like a good guy? treat her right?

I know guys that are 35, and that really seem like 35, have their life settled; wife, house, 2 kids, career, summer vacations at the lake, minivan. And I know other 35 year old guys, that you'd think are 25. Guys who like to go out and party like 20 year olds, who are still in school, or don't really careers, that still live with roomates, and are into their sportscars LOL. It really depends on the person.

Answer 7

Right now it may not be an issue. I have to agree with another person on here. In time the age difference will catch up and cause problems. So, in the long run... I'd just be friends and not make a long term commitment in the romance dept.

Answer 8

If you truly love each other and the age isn't a problem for both of you then why not? It is kind of a big difference in age but love more than that. If it gets in the way for either of you it might not work but if it doesn't then go ahead.

Answer 9

I dont think its wrong and if your sister wants to date him its her life, and if thats how she wants be happy then let her be happy. she is of age to date so she can date who she wants and i think relationships work out more often when the girl dates an older guy because the older guy is over the chasing part of the relationship,,, there not 21 horn dogs anymore..... i think its more then alright for a 15 year old differnce,,,life is to short for fussying over silly things like age differnce if she is treated right whats so bad about the relationship.

Answer 10

if she really loves him then fine. age is just a number but if you think it is too much of a big deal in a relationship then it will not work. my parents are 16 years apart. my aunt and uncle are 20 years apart. its all about the way they make it work and not use if as a defensive way.