I just want some opinions on this situation.. I am getting married in May. My father and I haven't spoken in about 7 years. I still have a good relationship with his father (my grandfather) even though he lives two states away and i haven't seen him in 10 years. He is 85 years old and I would like to invite him to the wedding but I don't want him to feel obligated to come since it would be hard on him to travel so far. Also, if he does come, I will feel obligated to spend all my time at the reception "cacthing up" and visiting. Even though I am angry at my father, I also don't want his feelings to be hurt when he finds out his father was invited and he wasn't. Any opinions or suggestions would be appreciated.
2007-01-05 09:58:13 · 7 answers · asked by mcrp 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You should invite both your father and grandfather. Cast as wide a net as possible with your invitations, be as gracious as possible, and then let the chips fall where they may.
Extending an invitation to someone does not commit them to coming. The ball will be in their court. It's their decision-- you're not being rude by inviting them.
If they do travel in for the wedding, you should probably meet for lunch a few days before the rehearsal dinner and wedding to spend time with them personally. You're not going to have time to catch up at all, at a wedding reception.
2007-01-06 00:44:54 · answer #1 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When family has to travel in from a long distance it is usually appropriate to hold a small reception for those people a day or two in advance of the wedding. Then you can do some "catching up" there. On the wedding day most people know that the bride is a busy Queen Bee, so no reasonable person should expect any particular "me time " with her.
As for the invites, I recommend that you invite everyone you want to your wedding. If your 85 yo Grandfather can't make it due to health then inviting him will at least give him the opportunity to decline the invitation if he doesn't feel up to it.
If you aren't comfortable inviting your father to your wedding then don't. But if it's only because you are concerned about everyone elses feelings then don't let that stop you. It's your day, & everyone who cares about you that attends your wedding should do their part to make it a happy occasion for you, & leave their own emotional baggage at home.
Best wishes on your wedding!
2007-01-05 18:11:51 · answer #2 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would invite both of them. Because your grandfather is older, you would hate to regret it later. If you are going to feel guilty, just invite your father. It doesn't mean he will come, but at least you won't have any guilt. Perhaps you could plan a trip to see your grandfather after the wedding if he cannot make it. You could bring pictures and have more time to catch up. Good Luck!
2007-01-05 20:57:16 · answer #3 · answered by redsox fan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it would be wring not to invite him. i think he knows he doesnt HAVE to come if he cant and I'm sure he would want to be there and will understand you will be enjoying the day, not spending the entire thing with him. at 85 I'm sure he would be upset not being invited to see his granddaughter walk down the aisle. as for your father, I also think its wrong not to invite him. send out an invite to him. if it means anything to him then he will come. if not then at least you know. I dont care how angry I coudl have been at my father, he is one of the most important men in my life and I couldnt have imagined my wedding without him. no better time then the present and the new year to reconcile with your pop!
2007-01-06 00:25:38 · answer #4 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not going to visit your grandfather before/after the wedding? 85 years old is rather elderly -- I can understand him not wanting to drive. If you go visit him, you can bring pictures or a video, and express that you would have liked to have him there. That way, you also don't neglect your other guests or your new husband at the reception by your obligatory chat.
2007-01-05 18:45:17 · answer #5 · answered by wnk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look if you are really close to your grandfather invite him but make sure he knows that you are ok if he doesn't come and that you understand that it is a long way for him to come. As for your father send him a invite, but make sure that you are going to feel ok if he does come. Make sure that nothing is going to make you more stressed on your day
2007-01-05 18:13:41 · answer #6 · answered by nova95492 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Invite your grandfather, even if you don't want your dad there (though you should think long and hard about that).
2007-01-06 07:33:27 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋