I love my man and I never found anything with a girls name in his wallet. Anyways lately his been so into holding his wallet and today he left it in my car and it was open on thing about us we are very open we go into are stuff for reasons we dont really get mad. anyways i was looking to see if her had any ones and i found a girls number and i called and the guy that answered told me everything she works with him. what do i do?? please help im so shocked and hurt I been with him for 3 yrs and never had to dealwiht this before. What do i do???
I cant stop crying i just want to end it with him the first time i ever trusted a man and this happens i dont know if i can trust him again...
2007-01-05 08:45:29 · 8 answers · asked by jdn85 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First of all we have kids together and we never had a problem with this if he needs some thing out of my purse he s free to do so if i need some money out of his wallet he lets me we have never had anything to hide. I needed a doller bill so i looked to see if her did and no he had a number so what ever people are different.
2007-01-05 08:51:34 · update #1
dear i know you are hurting, but you have to confront him about your suspicions. do it when your both in a good mood and completely sober, in case that could be an issue. start with the i feel, i need, can you conversation. here are some examples: i am confused...I feel their is something going on between the lady at work and yourself. i feel scared, betrayed, insecure, hurt etc. avoid the word you!!!! as much as possible, you statements cause the other person to go into defense mode. next try the i need statement. i need for you to be honest with me. i need for you to change jobs or i need you to not see this woman, i need to feel secure, loved, respected ect. the last statement ask him can you? can you stop seeing her, can you explain. can you love me better? again these are just examples. brace your self...the last question, can you? can be shocking..it can be answered with no, i can not. just try to use the i feel, i need , can you script. i think it will help you get the conversation started.
think about what you want to say and how you want to say it, practice first. do not yell or raise your voice, as soon as you do, the other person stops listening. last of all... try to be constructive not destructive. you only have suspicions at this point.
you could also just sit and watch for a while...just don't let it eat you alive...now you need a best friend to talk to or you could get counseling, but something other than this venue. good luck! hope this helps!
2007-01-05 09:36:29 · answer #1 · answered by cat eyes 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if my wife didn't trust me, and was wanting to look through my wallet, I would be mad. The fact you looked proves that there is something deep down that is bad wrong in your relationship. If your relationship was all that great, he wouldn't have been cheating. Somewhere along the line you have been fooling yourself.
2007-01-05 16:50:07 · answer #2 · answered by draftboyg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What exactly did the guy say.. I mean is actually cheating on you if he is...dump him that is the worst..trust has been broken and will never be the same...if you have no basis for this then I suggest confront him and talk to him about it and what's bothering you
2007-01-05 16:53:17 · answer #3 · answered by red_klinik 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
confront him about the number, and tell him even though you want to stay together, if he is gonna cheat on you then you are gunna dump him on his ***.
it'll totally be okay, either way.
if it happens again, then dump him without even trying to get back together, because it'll just turn into a circle and happen again.
mads
2007-01-05 16:50:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your nutz and if you where my girl and had to go through my stuff to trust me then i would ask you what are you doing to make you so nervous about me and what are you doing to be so scared ?
2007-01-05 16:49:00 · answer #5 · answered by Lab Runner 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having her number doesn't really mean he's having an affair Ask him before panicking !!
2007-01-05 16:48:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave him and don't look back. you'll never be able to trust him again.
2007-01-05 16:49:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, this means your man has cheated on you.
2007-01-05 17:03:51 · answer #8 · answered by Tacyella 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋