Why Wont he grow up and be a man for his child sake?

Question

Need Advice and second opinion?
So me and my bf been together for 3 1/2 years, since i was 15, for the last 8 mo. we have been in the process of breaking up,still tryin to hold on the the little bit of love thats left, so i packed my bags and went to hawaii to live and really think about what i wanted out of life... not promising to come back but not saying i wont. 2 months in to me leaving i find out i am 10 weeks pregnant.
so we talked about trying to work things since things arnt all about us...it worked for maybe a cuple days but i jus realized i just dont want to be with this man well i should say boy any longer, ive grown up and hes still the same person i met when i was 15.
there is no way we can work this out, there is no trust or respect in this relationship, i dont belive i can ever trust him again ive been trying for ever but he jus keeps giving me more and more reason to dis trust him
why wont he try to get his stuff 2gether not 4 me 4 our child? and should i try to raise my child by myself?

hes 21
and dosent have a job or anything eles
he jus mooches of of everyone eles
plus he sells drugs and uses(i think)

i know it sounds really bad its just that i still have hope for him, i grew up with my father coming in out of my life addicted to drugs and going to jail, he died a year and a half a go but i still think meeting him was better than never meeting him at all and i love my dad than anything eles in this world

Answer 1

Sounds like my ex. I've been there done that. I left him when I was about 2 1/2 months pregnant and I have never regeretted it for one day. Or son is 8 now and his "father" still hasn't grown up. He's habitually unemployed, living with 4 or 5 other guys in a filthy condemed house with no heat and no hot water. I got a college degree, have a good job, a nice house, 2 cars, a husband, 2 more kids, a dog and a mini-van. I'm living the American Dream, and he's still wallowing in his own inadequacies.

Get out of there, especially if he's involved in drugs, it's the best thing you could do for you and your child.

Answer 2

Did your really just realize in the past 10 weeks that this man (boy) is not grown up and you don't trust or respect him? And when did you realize that things aren't all about you? (and having sex!)

Nobody should have sex unless they are ready to raise a baby, kill a baby or give a baby away. Figure out which category you fit into - and do it. Don't depend on the man (boy) for anything. You ask why he won't get his stuff together. Nobody on Answers knows the answer to that. He knows - so you should ask him.

Think too - about this child - and think hard. Kind of unfair that it won't get to have a Dad - don't you think?

In my opinion - all of your decisions at this point should be based on the welfare of the child.

Answer 3

You guys are both still young. Females mature faster which is why you've outgrown his childish ways. I believe that you should try raising your child on your own but make sure that he knows the door is always opens when he wants to be a part of the child's life. He will eventually grow up and regret his actions but don't get back together with him 'for the sake of the child', that never works and the child will sense how stressed and unhappy you are. There are plenty of strong women out there raising children alone so it definitely can be done.

Answer 4

An 18 year old boy is still a boy , where as an 18 year old is often a woman. You know the answer to your question. Its not about him growing up, its about you already being grown.

Answer 5

HELLO...raise this kid yourself.
A drug dealer bf huh, what a ******* loser eh? I wouldnt even acknowledge this man to my kid. Drug dealers are worse than cockroaches, and it isnt something thats cool either.
Your kid doesnt need his bullshit and neitherdo you.
It will be hard but you need to finish ALL your schooling, get a great career and eventually drive your kid to school in the lexus, YOU bought not with drug money.
When his dad is in jail, your child will be playing the new playstation5 in his house, the one that MOMMY bought with no mans help...sounds good to me, just never lose focus and dont end up a loser like him.

Answer 6

Staying in a relationship for the sake of your infant is in no way the respond. once you're unhappy then your toddlers are gonna be unhappy, consistently, no exceptions. he's controlling over you yet would not take any administration over his very own usual jobs. Please please please, for the sake of your son & your guy or woman insanity leave this guy or fairly KICK HIM OUT! Take his key off him, seek for help from a legal expert or maybe the voters suggestion Bureau (noticeably helpful they might help) regarding getting him to pay maintenance on your son (in case you have chose greater income to help). do not shop his fake grants of marriage interior the desire your relationship might circulate someplace, you have have been given a son at the same time it incredibly is the place his usual jobs and grants might desire to lie yet they don't so take it as a early take-heed call & stay close on your loved ones & as far faraway from that loser as attainable. good success hun you're worth so lots greater beneficial than that & you're son merits so lots greater

Answer 7

It might be best for the baby to be in a loving home with two parents who can provide for him or her. Adoption is a loving thing to do for a child sometimes. Good luck.

Answer 8

i would do it all by yourself if i was you it will be a much happier environment for you and your child...if there is no trust its not even worth it stay in hawaii and take each day by itself and see where life takes you

Answer 9

With all that you said - do you really need to ask if he is worht keeping around - it would be detrimental to your unborn baby to keep him around