Am I too young?

Question

My fiance and I are getting married, we love each other very deeply and know what it means to get married. We live in families that don't think divorce is an option, so we know exactly what marriage is about and we love each other very much. We laugh and talk all the time on the phone and have such an amazing connection. But, every time I tell some one, I'm told we're too young and it's annoying! I'm 19 and He's 20

Answer 1

I'm not going to tell you your too young. It sounds like you both have a pretty good head on your shoulder. Have you been going together long enough to really know what you each expect after you are married. I would suggest you both take some counseling at the church where you plan to get married if you both attend a church. You may be surprised at the issues where you have differences. Many churches offer this counseling free now days and some require it. I certainly do not want to tell you not to get married now or how long to wait. If you both know you are truely the right person waiting too long may not be the right thing. I'm sure you know why. There is a lot to consider like is college in the plan for one or both of you? Where is the money coming from? It is a good idea for a women to also have some education now days. Do you plan on a family right a way or waiting?
If you are sure you have those answers then I'd say you are ahead of most couples. That is only the tip of the ice berg because of all the other things like a home, living expenses, doctor bills and the Good Lord only knows what else. Love goes a long ways, but it can get streched pretty far. I'm glad that divorce isn't an option, but working out issues is trying. We thought we were in love when we got married, but found out love is giving and giving and giving as you have no doubt have seen in your homes. We learned we loved each other a lot more after 24 years than when we got married. Best wishes for a happy marriage. Don't let what people tell you annoy you.

Answer 2

It's subjective and a lot of people will say that you're too young because generally the younger you are when you get married, the less likely the relationship is said to last.

You didn't say how long you two have been together... be careful not to jump into it, they say that lust lasts 2 years and that you shouldn't get married if you've been together less than 2 years.

I'm not trying to be a complete downer here; my parents have been together since my mum was 13, which has been 30 years, and they got married when she was 17! It can work, as long as you are willing to make it work. A lot of people jump into marriage thinking it will be easy, but you have to work at it every day. You say divorce isn't an option... although this is commendable, do you really want to be unhappy with no way out? I'm NOT saying that will happen, but if you both strongly believe that then I think you need to be extra careful going into this.

Good luck though, I wish you both the very best.

Answer 3

Sorry to add to that annoying number, but....

Yep, I think you are too young. Why can't you just keep things the way they are (enjoying the company and companionship) without taking the marriage leap. It's not like there is a time limit. You can be with someone without being married. IMO, marriage is about making a family, settling down, pro-creating, putting your goals and visions on hold as you increase the number of humans on this planet. It's not about "locking in" someone who you love because you are afraid they will leave. (If they really want to be with you, they won't leave). That only leads to future heart ache and is not the purpose of marriage, IMO.

My advice is: Take it one day at a time, have fun, and lay off the marriage (at least until your in a state of finances & mind to put your life on hold to build a family).

P.S.
Just generalizing on the finances for most 19 year olds...don't know your situation.

Answer 4

they only tell you that you are too young because they are looking out for you. if you feel ready to get married, that is ultimately your decision. but the way i felt at 19 is so different than i felt at 22 and was so different than the way i felt when i was 25, and very different from the way i feel now at 27. i have been with the same person since i was 16 years old and i feel very different about marriage now that i am older. if you feel that you have 'seen the world' as the saying goes, then do what you feel is right. just remember this question (put it in a time capsule) and re-visit it when you are 27...i guarantee you will see things alot differently.

Answer 5

I personally think that u r not that young. But in others point of view, they think that u need to be a little more older to think right. Most adults believe that 19 - 21 is 2 young of an age to decide. If u really love this guy and u r sure about it then I say go for it.

Answer 6

Im a complete different person than I was when I was 19 (I'm 29 now). People change alot in their 20's and it is possible that you guys may grow apart. I was there, and in my mid 20's my girlfriend of 7 years and I split up. We remained great friends, however we both knew that we just grew in different directions. Just incase, its best that you wait a few years and see where life leads you two. If it results in a lifetime together, congrats then!

Answer 7

No, I beleive that whenever you feel the time is right, it's time. There is no such thing as "too young" (unless you're like 1-15). You'll know when it's true love, and when you've met the right person. If you feel the time is right, then it most likely is. Follow your heart!

Answer 8

i am not sure if you are 2 young but my parents got married at 21 and 19 & 20 isn't too far behind. if you love each other it think that it is fine. i hope all goes well.

Answer 9

Yes you are too young. Go out and have fun, finnish college, etc. before tying the noose. Having a connection on the phone is nothing compared to living together for 50+ YEARS!!!

Answer 10

yes u r young! coz in dis age we cant undrestand life! i mean y dun u be in mid 20s i mean if u really luv each other test ur luv! u beleve it will last then try it by dat time ull be mature enuf! and it will bw good to get married at dat time ita a matter of just few yrs!