My fiance is a wonderful man and I am so excited to marry him but something I have been wondering about for a while now is how to do the unity candle. His mother died when he was three and his dad died a few years ago. He does not have a lot of family that he is close to that could kind of take the place of his parents so that option is out. He has told me several times that he loves my parents as they are his own and I know they feel the same. My mother suggested that her and my dad light both candles because it is symbolizing two separate people becoming one. I'm really not sure what to do. Is this a good idea? Does anyone have any suggestions?
2007-01-05 07:31:03 · 17 answers · asked by Crystals in love 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I think you should let your mom & dad light the candles & have a picture of his parents sitting on the table for him to light right before the wedding starts. That is what I am doing when I get married on the 27th of this month. It lets his parents be a part of the wedding & lets everyone know that they are there.
Congrats!
2007-01-05 08:28:40 · answer #1 · answered by kenzi2730 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The original meaning of the unity candle was the joining of two families/clans. the secondary meaning is the bride and the groom are no longer 2 separate lives but now 1. I have attended numerous weddings and the fact that parents are living or dead did not interfere with the lighting of the candles. I think there are 2 things here... your merging your thoughts about acknowledging his deceased parents with the lighting of the unity candle. You can do both. but one really has nothing to do with the other. You could incoporate his deceased parents into your wedding anyway you want. if it's during the lighting then fine. It's your day...do it your way.Traditonally tho...the bride and groom light the candles.
2007-01-05 12:32:45 · answer #2 · answered by michelle m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I really like your mom's idea. You might want to consider placing a picture of his parents on the unity candle table, that way your dad would be symbolizing your fiance's parents role of the unity candle and the coming together of the families. Good Luck!
2007-01-05 07:35:02 · answer #3 · answered by wickedness_one 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
The unity candle consists of 3 candles, 2 tapers and 1 larger candle. The 2 tapered candles are lit during the ceremony and then you and your future husband each takes one of the tapered candles to light the larger candle, uniting the 2 of you. They also now use sand you represent one color him another, you pour both colors into a larger holder to combine your colors and then you can keep it in that holder for your home. Looks nicer than a half burnt candle.
2007-01-05 08:13:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about a close friend? Your parents would not really be appropriate as they symbolize your family. The candles show the unification of 2 families that combine to start a new one.
2007-01-05 07:36:55 · answer #5 · answered by Debbie D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, each side of the unity candle symbolizes the two families becoming one, not just the parents.
2007-01-05 08:13:51 · answer #6 · answered by Vanessa H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really like the idea of your parents doing the honors with a picture of his parents on the table by his candle. Maybe you could mention his parents in the ceremony in some way...Have a special prayer, poem, etc to commemorate them.
2007-01-05 07:42:11 · answer #7 · answered by Lucie 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Instead of having family light the candle, why don't you two light it. It signifies the beginning of a new family. Or, have one of his close family members light it,
2007-01-05 08:37:29 · answer #8 · answered by sassy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the unity candle has nothing to do with his parents you light one side , he lights one and you both light the middle one signaling you two becoming one
2007-01-05 11:54:22 · answer #9 · answered by t b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a great idea.
I would say that your fiancee should pick who lights the candle on his family's behalf (grandparent, cousin, aunt/uncle, or even a family friend), but other than that, it's an excellent idea.
2007-01-05 07:43:05 · answer #10 · answered by auken_hill 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋