ideas to help my 4 yr old when he starts to cry because he misses him during the day or when it is bed time. He has never been away from his daddy and loves him sooo much. Can anyone share ideas. Thank You
2007-01-05 07:07:28 · 22 answers · asked by Susan B 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Let your son call your husband on the phone before going to bed/Let them see each other every weekend.Encourage your son to tell your husband what he feels - even 4-year-olds can express their feelings in a simple way.Tell your son that your family's changing but you still love him and won't stop love him.
2007-01-05 07:10:17 · answer #1 · answered by Livia 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Maybe your husband could call and talk to him every night, or have your husband write a letter for him for every night he will be gone, and you could read it to him before bed. Have your husband leave your son his favorite t-shirt to sleep in, or let him sleep with daddy's pillow. You can also have him and daddy pick out a star they can both look at, at the same time everynight and think about one another. You could also have a day just for the two of them before and after his trip. You can also have a journal for both of them to write in while they are a part, so they can exchange what happened to them during the week. I know this is very hard. My 5 year old is a HUGE Daddy's Boy, and my husband has an annual hunting trip(1 week) with the men in his family every year, my son is not old enough to go yet. My son cries on and off the whole week he is gone, but these are some of the things we do and they seem to help. The shirt and pillow really help, because he says they smell like his daddy and that makes him feel safe. Good Luck.
2007-01-05 07:22:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Part of having him accept it is to make sure he's aware that his dad is leaving, but that he WILL come back. With my son, if we spring anything on him he throws a fit for days, so we've gotten into the habit of telling him, "Okay, in one months this is going to happen; in three weeks; in two weeks; next Friday..." and so on. Knowing that it's going to happen will do a lot to set your son at ease. The other thing is to make sure there's another male that you can turn to for 'daddy duty'--for example, a family friend you can call who can come over if your son hurts himself and is inconsolable without Daddy. Sometimes, just having another guy there is enough. Unfortunately, if your son is that deeply bonded to your husband, there might not be much you can do besides reassuring him that his dad will be coming back whenever he asks.
To help pass the time, have your husband make him a 'calendar' for the time that he'll be gone; you and your son can make a mark or put a sticker on the calendar every day until he comes home. This will also help your son realize how short a week really is, lol. Good luck!
2007-01-05 07:12:24 · answer #3 · answered by shoujomaniac101 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have your husband write your son a note to read for every day he'll be gone, making sure to mention anything that is scheduled for that day (for instance, talking about show and tell in the note to be read the night before s&t day @ school).
An Advent-type calendar to count down the days until Daddy's return can also make the waiting easier. An egg carton filled with plastic Easter eggs that you've numbered with tape or a marker and filled with a small treat (sticker, small candy, etc.) is an easy way to do this.
The other poster's ideas about recording an audio or video tape and having a picture for your son to keep with him are also good.
2007-01-05 07:16:23 · answer #4 · answered by craftladyteresa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like Dad is leaving to do something good. So point out to your son how important the work that dad will be doing. Explain that dad is leaving to help people, etc.
Does dad have something special that he does with your son? A book, a song, something that is a special family routine or tradition? Try having dad read a story and either audio tape or video tape it. Your son can watch/listen everyday and feel like he is still connected to dad.
When I have to travel for my job, I make a calendar for my kids so that they can mark off how many "sleeps" I'll be gone. Everyday they mark one off and then count how many until I come back. They can decorate the calendar, make notes about what fun things they did while I was gone etc. It keeps them busy, reminds them I wont be gone forever and reminds them that they are having lots of fun without me.
I also DONT call home everyday when I travel. Once or twice during the week Im gone.... I found that if I call everyday it reminds them that I am gone.... once or twice keeps us in touch but also they are so busy doing fun things at school etc they forget that Ive been gone all day. (sounds wierd... now that they are older they ask me when my next work trip is because they like spending time with gradma without me there and they always make me a special suprise for when I come home).
Maybe something special with mom that you dont normally get to do.... a movie, the zoo, eat at a restaurant.... put the event in the middle of the week. You can talk about it for a couple of days and make it really exciting and create lots of excitement about it (keep his mind occupied) and then after the event you can talk about how special it was, make a scrapbook, draw picture/write a story about it (again keep him busy) and before you know it the week will be over.
DONT dismiss his feelings. He has every right to miss dad. Tell him that it's ok to miss dad because it shows how much they love each other but then remind him that it's only ___ days left.
AND Im sure you will miss Dad too... just remember your son will take his cues from you. If you are moping around and teary eyed because you are sad and lonely it will magnify anything your son feels. So be positive about Dad's trip and what he is doing. The week will pass quickly for both of you.
Hope dad has a safe trip and that you and your son have a good week.
2007-01-05 07:18:04 · answer #5 · answered by boilerfanforever 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Smile, hug your son and ask him what he misses about Dad. Ask him to tell you what he wants to do with Dad when Dad comes back. Be sure you are confident, encouraging and loving. Allow him to express himself. Share with your son your favorite memories of what you do together with Dad as well. Of course during the day you might have more time (and patience) versus at night. So plan to start your bedtime routine a little earlier.Also, you might want to incorporate a special nighttime activity for you and your son during the time your husband is away.
2007-01-05 07:17:54 · answer #6 · answered by Granma Moses 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Record your husband reading different books. At bedtime pop in a tape and let daddy read him a story.
During the day allow your son to borrow your cell phone to call daddy and leave him messages.
2007-01-05 07:18:08 · answer #7 · answered by lilbitt_637 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Every one is right. I had to be away from mine last year. I had their dad call at bedtime and I sang to them like usual. I had him call not me so the timing wouldn't be bad and if they were doing fine they wouldn't be upset by the call.
The 4 year old is old enough to understand a calander or a chart to mark off days till dad comes home too.
2007-01-05 07:16:45 · answer #8 · answered by G's Random Thoughts 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Explain to him that his daddy is helping others to have a nice, warm house to leave in and that his daddy is one of the good guys.
2007-01-05 07:15:15 · answer #9 · answered by iwanttoknow 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sit him on your lap & show him pictures of his daddy. Tell him daddy is doing good things for people far away and will be home to you both soon.
Good Luck!
2007-01-05 07:13:26 · answer #10 · answered by kim_n_orlando 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋