My daughter will be 4 next month...She back talks me...How do I deal with it? Ive tried ignoreing it...But I dont think that will help...Ive done time outs, and even while being sent to time out or being sent up stairs she will talk under her breath something snotty..."I dont care" "so" "no" "i dont have to" "your not my friend" "i dont love you" ECT.....
2007-01-05 07:04:17 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
When mine speak that way to me, I tell them that is unacceptable and they must find a better way to ask.
If they yell "no" or 'I don't have to" then that's a test to see how far you will go. Apparently you didn't pass the test lol. Mine said that to me a few times and learned that indeed they "had to" and "yes Mommy" was much better.
When she does that sort of thing, stop all activity. Everything, no matter what it was, stop doing it and get down on one knee, look her right in the eye and tell her to say that in a kinder tone or her day ends right here and now. She won't, the first time, so end her day; put her in her bed and turn out the light and tell her she must stay there by herself until she can apologize.
I know this is hard to do away from home, but again, if she does it, take her home. It's a hard thing to do, it'll seem as if she doesn't get to do anything, but that's sort of the point. If you talk to people that way, you will wind up alone and doing nothing.
2007-01-05 08:52:41 · answer #1 · answered by arewethereyet 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is just her trying to be the boss and to be independent. Its a phase that they all go through, but will continue if not dealt with properly. Continue with the time outs, make them longer if you have to, put her on a chair facing the corner, they hate that. Take away her favorite toy every time she mouths off. I put my daughter to bed if she gets mouthy with me. I have a 7 yr old and and a 3 1/2 yr old. Just keep it up and don't tolerate any disrespect. Don't give in to her when you punish her, and what ever you do, don't apologize to her after you punish her. Ask her after her time out is over if she knows why she was punished and make her apologize to you before she is allowed out of time out.
2007-01-05 07:11:34 · answer #2 · answered by MRod 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would spank my daughter's rear end if she talked to me like that. I bet she would care when her bottom was red. She might also care when she starts losing toys for every time she back talked. When her room started to look empty she might think twice about it. Main thing is, YOU are the parent, she is 4 for cryin out loud. If you want her to stop you have to figure out what it is that is important to her. All kids have a price and once she knows you are serious, you MUST be consistent and follow through with what you say, then she will stop. You have to give her a reason to respect you before she will show you respect.
2007-01-05 07:23:09 · answer #3 · answered by disneychick 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The "I don't love you" phase is agony, but NORMAL. Tell her that you love HER all the time, even when you're angry with her. Calmly say, "I don't like that language." then ignore her. More than just acting like she didn't say those things, truly refuse to engage with her when she's speaking this way. Walk away, turn your back and do something else.
Kids do things for a reaction. If she can't get yours, she'll quit.
2007-01-05 07:57:35 · answer #4 · answered by eli_star 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
OH I used to get this all the time from my son, he just turned 4 in December and this started picking up about a month or two ago. I know this is going to sound awful but this is the ONLY thing that works for my son.
When he gets snotty like that I give him one warning and one only. Then if he does it again I take a spoon and just dip it in vinegar...then put it in his mouth and send him to time out. I tell him that yucky words deserve yucky tastes. Then when his time-out is done he can get a drink to wash the taste out. It works for us :)
2007-01-05 07:11:35 · answer #5 · answered by totspotathome 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Hopefully it is a phase cause my daughter is doing the same thing. She is always saying shut up or its not fair or no or I dont love you. My daughter will be 4 in july and we have tried sending her to her room and time outs in the naughty chair. Good Luck with it. If I get anything to work, I will pass it along.
2007-01-05 07:09:48 · answer #6 · answered by Julie C 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
she has to be learning this talk from somewhere like the tv shes watching or maybe her classmates. try speaking only positive language around her and maybe make a chart with her for all the nice things she says and give a prize at the end of the week/month
2007-01-05 07:13:34 · answer #7 · answered by nerby 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Sounds like Little Miss Thing needs her little butt smacked. I'm sorry, but that kind of talk does not fly in my house. You don't respect your authority, you get your butt popped. That's what happened to me when I was younger, and that's what cured my back-talking instantly.
2007-01-05 07:14:13 · answer #8 · answered by CelebrateMeHome 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
SilverBirch - OMG that is so funny! LOL LOL LOL Smackfairy visit Bootyland... that kills me!
DISCLAIMER: Just for the record. I personally don't agree with spanking...
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2007-01-05 07:18:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Time for the smack fairy to visit Bottyland, me thinks.
If she does it to you, and gets away with it, she'll think she can do it to teachers.
2007-01-05 07:07:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋