you care about him and is totally over your past.............? The guy I'm seeing thinks he is my second best even though I think he is amazing and let him know that. How can I help him get over this?
2007-01-05 06:45:58 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
first: make sure you believe it yourself. it is o.k. if you recognize differences between him and others, even if the other had some better qualities. recognize the qualities he has that you really appreciate.
second: reinforcement is the only thing that works with men- unless he's totally broken and can't accept being the 'best' in you eyes- then your screwed. he will doubt you because OF COURSE you tell him how great he is, that's what your supposed to do right? (remember: guys KNOW what you want to hear when you ask questions like "do i look fat in this?" if you want us to 'lie' to you, then it makes sense for us to believe that you would return the favor.
just keep telling him. don't overemphasize it, he'll think your trying too hard to make him believe it and will be suspicious about who you are really trying to convince...but just keep saying the same thing.
also, NEVER turn around in an angry moment and use this insecurity against him by making him think that you really were just saying nice things to make him feel better. there is no recovery from such abuse.
2007-01-05 06:56:11 · answer #1 · answered by bjohnson808 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually, things like this take time. You have to spend time with him. Spend time showing him a ton of love and affection. Spend time getting to know him. Spend time TOGETHER. There is no quick fix to his problem, it's something that is solved over time in a relationship with trust and understanding.
2007-01-05 14:58:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a sit down with him, and tell him exactly that. That is the only way. People play too many games today, and people are afraid of confrontation. Just tell him how you honestly feel and don't jump around the subject. How else would you tell him? ;)
2007-01-05 14:50:36 · answer #3 · answered by clancedavis1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most men respond to sex. The nicer you are to him the more loved he will feel. This might get a little strenuous at first and you may feel put upon to satisfy all his urges, but trust me, you want to rather than have him go elsewhere for sexual gratification.
2007-01-05 14:50:10 · answer #4 · answered by sandy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how he feels. I feel the same way with my gf. Its because she has told me things about her past relationships that she dont do for me and it bothers me that I am not as important as they were to her.
2007-01-05 14:51:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just show him you care in your everyday way, let him know how much you appreciate and if he still doesn't believe you, that's his problem.
2007-01-05 14:50:55 · answer #6 · answered by Paul W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do something crazy for him.
2007-01-05 14:55:14 · answer #7 · answered by RayCATNG 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋