I'm not planning on getting engaged for 2-3 months, and I live out of town. I probably won't see her father in person before then, so I would like to ask for his blessing now. Is it too soon? Should I call on the phone closer to when we get engaged? What is typical timeframe to ask for her father's blessing?
2007-01-05 06:22:27 · 13 answers · asked by Jeff 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I didn't (and now regret it - her Dad is a fine man and values traditional gestures like that), but I'd assume no more than a few weeks in advance - otherwise you risk him spilling the beans or wondering if you got cold feet.
Of course, the more communication and trust going on, the less you need to worry about it.
If I were you, I'd make a special trip to see him in person - maybe you could convince your girlfriend to go to the kitchen with her Mom for a few minutes - a day or two before you pop the question, or even the day of. That way they're a bit more prepared when she comes home that evening and shows off her ring.
Plus, it's a great gauge of whether or not she's going to say yes...
2007-01-05 06:26:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
Right before you ask your girlfriend (say a day or so).
Otherwise you will be entrusting a "secret" to her father, don't put him in the situation of keeping his mouth shut for months. He will feel guilty and tell all the relatives, that would make your girlfriend the last to know.
Maybe you can "pop the question" in her home town, go their for a weekend trip, ask dad the first night, take her out and ask her the second night.
Good luck!
2007-01-05 06:30:29 · answer #2 · answered by Gem 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You should move time your heart tells you to. Tomorrow is not promised to us so just do it.
Although the a phone call may seem informal, explain why you thought a call would be better.
Who said you can only ask one time. When you see him ask again in a joking way, Do I still have your blessing? That way you two have something to laugh about and relationship can go from that.
2007-01-05 06:30:14 · answer #3 · answered by long leggs 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are a man of such old fashioned values (which is really cute and sweet, most guys aren't anymore) then I would say you should do it face to face. If that means you need to do it sooner rather than later, then go for it. Explain the situation to him after you ask him.
Or, ask him while she is there when you plan to purpose. I'm not sure how they actually did it when that was tradition, but heck, that's usually how they do it in movies! LOL!
Good luck. I hope it all works out for you!
2007-01-05 06:31:38 · answer #4 · answered by afichick 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to ask him in person BEFORE you ask her. Doesn't matter the amount of time before, but at least a day ;)
Otherwise, call and setup a time for you to get together with him privately. Remember to be respectful and poliet.
When you marry someone you are marrying the entire family so this is the proper way to do it.
Congratulations.
2007-01-05 06:27:36 · answer #5 · answered by ima_averagejoe 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Make sure she wants to marry you, (you don't have to actually have a formal proposal just yet, make it a special day). Then phone him and explain that you are unable to ask him in person, but want his blessing very much before you proceed. You are a very respectful person and I wish you Good Luck...
2007-01-05 11:18:08 · answer #6 · answered by intrepid 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is extremely sweet. If you know for sure your girlfriend will marry you, call her father (and mother too) for their blessing right away. I'm sure it will go a long way to a good relationship with all her family and for her. Good luck and can I adopt you?
2007-01-05 06:27:32 · answer #7 · answered by phoenixheat 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
That is very old fashioned, but nice. I would not approach him until I had been seeing the girl at least 6 months.
2007-01-05 06:27:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't listen to the people bagging on you about this. if it's a tradition you want to follow, then do it! next they'll be saying that no one should "give the bride away" at the ceremony.
you're not asking because it's his decision, but because it's a symbol of the respect you have for her dad as the "previous" man in her life, and a way of letting him know you really love her.
my fiance asked BOTH my dad and stepdad, and they BOTH appreciated it. it showed that he respected my family and wanted them involved in our lives. we had already spoken about marriage, so i wasn't offended at all that he went to my dad(s) as the next step.
oh, and i don't think it matters when you ask.
2007-01-05 06:38:00 · answer #9 · answered by jj 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd have to go with right before you ask her. Call him up and let him know and apologize for not being able to ask him in person.
2007-01-05 06:44:34 · answer #10 · answered by mama_mia 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋