I am a mom of 7, my 2step daughters are 18&17&dont live at home,then I have a 14yrold son,12yrold daughter and 3boys aged 5,3&17months.As you can imagine taking all five or even four to the grocery store is a big job,I can't leave the older two at home alone so it has to be done.I usually put the three younger boys on a wrist harness together and it worksokay at least I have them by my side. Recently my 12yr old has started acting up in the supermarket running around getting her brother to chase her and teasing the younger ones on the strap.I ended up spanking her 2weeks ago for this behavior and decided to put her on the strap with the younger kids.I am heavily pregnant and felt she pushed me to the limit.She doesn't seem to care that she is on the strap like the babies but when we met her friend shopping the other day I could see she was embarrassed.Is this just humiliating her or Is it achieveing the desirable and teaching her that if she acts like a baby she will be treated as one?
2007-01-05 05:03:22 · 16 answers · asked by strictmom 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Please follow the entire post before you get mad. It would be totally unreasonable if you did it just to make things easier. Yes, it is humiliating (for her) (follow me here), but it may have done the trick. Of course she acted like it didn't bother her, she didn't want to give you the satisfaction of success. However, you did say that when she saw her friend, she acted very embarrassed. At that age, kids are more influenced by their peers reactions than they are of their parents being ticked at them (think of how they want to dress/wear their hair/their music choices/boyfriends/girlfriends, etc.). This may have done the trick. She might think twice before acting like a monkey in public again. Hey, if she's going to act like a baby, treat her like one. My dad once got so mad and my brother and I for fighting when my mom was away (mom was usually the disciplinarian because dad worked constantly and we didn't see him much, dad didn't really know what to do), that he said, "fine, you want to act like a baby? By God you're going to be treated like a g**d*** baby!" He wrapped by brother (about 9 or 10 or maybe older) up in a bedsheet like a diaper and made him wear it around the house. He was better after that, and now we have a great story to tell!!!
2007-01-05 05:44:53 · answer #1 · answered by Lady in Red 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd have to woop her butt. I have 4 boys. 6, 4, 3, and 1. Baby is in the cart strapped in. 4 and 3 on each side of the cart. If there hand comes off, I pop it good. My 6 year old follows or leads and helps out. If they are behaving, I let them pick out a snack, or a juice, or chocolate milk. You just have to be firm and not let her get away with this. Humiliate her by putting her over your knee in front of a few people and spaking that tail. She will straitin up.
2007-01-05 05:30:45 · answer #2 · answered by micmac_9 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Humiliating? yes. Immoral? NO. The punishment fits the crime. Although I would give her a chance to show you that she can behave, but the moment she acts up, slap it back on. Each relapes I would make the harness time a little longer. She will learn. Good luck.
2007-01-05 05:08:40 · answer #3 · answered by B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
12 is way too old for the kid to be on a harness maybe she is acting up because its embarassing for her to be on one of those things i mean most kids that age are already in middle school. If she can't behave in public than you need to work on how you descipline her cause she is way too big for a harness. By now she should know the proper way to act in public those things are for little kids.
2007-01-05 07:18:57 · answer #4 · answered by nobody 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Obviously you didn't mean to embarrass your child publicly, because this is not a good means of discipline. It will only lead to resentment. Early teen emotions are also more likely to manifest such a thing into something worse. The lesson "behaving like a child treated like a child" rarely works. Maybe try spicing up things by actually making her responsible for stuff. The wrangling of your younger ones on the strap might be a good place to start.
good luck.
2007-01-05 06:01:54 · answer #5 · answered by Jerry S 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is humiliation, but at the moment that is the best way to teach her how to act in public places. Couldn't have done it better myself.
2007-01-05 07:10:06 · answer #6 · answered by Black Angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you did the right thing. maybe she will learn. but when i was that age my dad and stepmom left me alone as long as it was just for a little bit like when they got groceries. i was a good kid though. maybe try it sometime and see how it goes or let the two older ones go to a friends house for a little bit. or better yet leave them all with dad for an hour so that you can get it done quicker and easier.
2007-01-05 05:12:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, and Yes
Yes, its humiliating.
Yes, its teaching her the lesson of, "If you want to act like a baby you will be treated like a baby"
She really doesn't care if you treat her like a baby.... until her friends see her. Then the message sinks in!
2007-01-05 05:52:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
that is very embarassing. maybe you shouled get her to be more active with helping you. Let her help with writing out the list and suggesting things that you ran out of. Then perhaps let her push the basket and help keep the kids in order. Maybe she could grab things that are within eyeview for you on the same aisle. She is almost a teenager and you seem to be treating her like a baby. Kids want to feel like they are contributing, clearly she was bored from having nothing to do.
2007-01-05 05:09:11 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Lots of moms will say it's humiliation, but I think you are doing the right thing. You are the mother, and making your point very well. She is 12, and should act like it or pay the consequences. Good job, mom!
2007-01-05 05:08:24 · answer #10 · answered by mama 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋