How can I be calm and confident?

Question

I always finding going to new places and meeting new people difficult - I get very nervous and then I don't come accross as I would like to, because I'm quiet or I end up not making much sense, that kind of thing.
Tonight I am going out with a girl I work with, to a new place with a group of her friends that I haven't met. I'm really nervous! Any tips on how to stay calm and confident please?!

Answer 1

no one in the world has any reason not to be confident... if you screw up then so what!!! it happens to everyone... take some deep breaths and be yourself... if you start blathering on like a complete spanner than make a joke out of it or say something like "agh just cant get the words out tonight"... and smile!!!! worst thing you could do is look miserable...it might make your friend feel down too because she will think you arent enjoying yourself... calmness is all about how you analise something... just go with the flow.... what you need to remember is "well do ya know what... if i do mess up then hey ho, not the end of the world, theres always tomorrow"... good luck!!!!

Answer 2

Well sounds like you are an outgoing person, it just takes time to get you going. I use to have that problem. I was pretty shy when I was younger and now I am a social butterfly. Here are things that I did to get that confidence rolling early and get you involved in the conversation early.

#1. Set the tone early. Meaning when you first get there set the tone for the conversation and make a conscience effort to get involved. If you set what the conversation is about you'll be involved in conversation you are familiar with and a subject you are familiar with.
#2. Ask open-ended questions. This refers to questions that cannot be answered by a quick yes or no. Instead of asking have you ever tried the ______? Ask questions like: How do you feel about____? Or Why do you think______? And so on.
If you are involved in conversation full of yes and no's it will be a quick one and you'll run out of ideas.
#3. If you feel you are falling behind in the conversation excuse your self to the restroom and give your self a pep talk. This way you'll go back in there with newness. Have you ever noticed that when someone returns from the restroom all eyes are on that person?
#4. Don't try to impress everyone with your wits and charm. Just worry about the person you care about at the room. If you’re charming her screw all the rest. This will put a whole lot less pressure on you.
#5. Be yourself.

Answer 3

Don't spend time worrying, but if you are a worrier write down what you are worried about and read it. It will probably sound really stupid and unimportant.
When you get back, read it again.
Don't imagine bad things happening because this creates a negative feeling, instead think that you're going to have a great time.

At the end of the day, you're going out and having fun.

Answer 4

Just try to come across as confident and speak when someone speaks to you, that's what i do and its very hard for me as i suffer from social phobia and recently i meet a guy and i have to go to meet his family alot and i find it very difficult. Just remind yourself everyone is just like you, human.

Answer 5

Unless you have some really annoying habits, nobody is going to blame you for being honest about who you are. Your nervousness may come from you being overly-conscious that what you say may be boring or not funny or unintelligent, well they don't have to be. Just be genuine, be yourself and have fun at the gathering ;-)

Answer 6

if you can just enjoy being somewhere new and not worry about you so much itll be way better. no ones paying as much attention to you as you think. and everyone else is somewhere inside feeling the exact same way or has before....if you like a girls shirt compliment it-dont be afraid to do that and itll open a whole gateway of talking and comfort.

Answer 7

If you can come up with some kind of phrase to repeat to yourself, it will help. Also say it at other times, so it will get down into your deepest mind:
Confident, relaxed, in control. I am always myself, always appealing and always confident.
[I hope this helps]
--That Cheeky Lad

Answer 8

b calm and confident
a tip! if u made a mistake, dont act like u didnt coz it looks stupid, make a joke out of it right after,,,

and dont be scared of making mistakes coz as a human being u have the right 2 make mistakez look at my spellin

Answer 9

Just not thinking about it and not putting yourself down.


Ive come up with this thing about myself where i dont worry about anything at all somehow and everything turns out good.

Answer 10

i know i'ts hard but don't be nervous or shy, act confident even if you don't feel it. If you don't want to do something or go some where say NO THANKS, i used to be quite shy and said yes when i wanted to say no... ended up in a BOROQUE BORDELLO... i'm not shy any more..