i knew him for 3 years and been together for one year and was deeply in love with him, on our first anniversery (which he didnt remember) i asked him if he really loved me and he was like sometimes i'm not sure, of course we broke up, the problem is that he's always around, and i'm used to his presence in my life and i cant give up his friendship... and we're so intimate, and he wants us to get back together... but i really wanna get over him because we willnot have any kind of future together, and there's that other guy that is really perfect for me and i truly like and admire him and my ex isnt giving me the space to fully focus on the new guy
i just cannot give up his friendship, can anybody help me here?
2007-01-05 03:54:20 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
knowing that i really appreciated his honesty, and i dont want to hurt him at all
2007-01-05 05:59:22 · update #1
make time for the new guy. you don't have to give up his friendship...just back off. you will feel happier when you completely fill his space.
it kind of sounds like he wants you to want him. back off a little and see how he reacts to that.
2007-01-05 03:58:25 · answer #1 · answered by pamcake 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to look at what you want. You cannot have both and you know that. What makes you think he will be sure this time that he wants to resume a relationship when it is convenient to him? Thats not fair to you. You mention a new that that is perfect for you, so why do you not pursue that? It sounds like your stuck in the past and may benefit from removing your ex from your life. He sounds more destructive than helpful to me. Do whats right for you and ask your close friends what their input is as I'm sure they will know the situation better that what you could ever describe on some website.
2007-01-05 12:12:56 · answer #2 · answered by "the Otter" 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you think you have a future together? You sound like you love each other, and you definitely have the friendship necessary for a fulfilling relationship. So what's the problem? Truly, though, it's hard to get over someone if you are around them a lot. You can't achieve "Out of sight, out of mind". Why don't you just tell him that it is making it too hard for you, that perhaps eventually you two can be good friends again? I am friends with all of my exes except one because it hasn't been long enough for me to be able to be friends with him again. You can't just jump from one to another. But with your situation, why not try again??
2007-01-05 12:04:46 · answer #3 · answered by kathryn w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think you know you have a good friendship when two people have each others best interests at heart and are dependable...etc...Anyways, from the sounds of it it doesn't sound like he has your best interests at heart. I think he knows he can depend on you but obviously from his past I don't think you can honestly depend on him. I think he wants to be around you because it's like a safe zone that he thinks will always be there. If he really wants a friendship with you...and you are really over him and not just keeping him around to fill a void...then he should respect you trying to find happiness and give you space. At least for now when you need it most.
2007-01-05 12:00:39 · answer #4 · answered by gdesigner 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit being around the ex. Be around the new guy. If the ex asks what you're doing one night, just say you're hanging out with your new guy. If you continue to do that, he will catch a hint. But to keep his friendship, call him, tell him about you and the new guy. Be open as possible with him. && Quit with the intimatesy. It's just bringing you closer together.
2007-01-05 11:58:39 · answer #5 · answered by Brittany 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are dooming yourself to failure by saying you just cannot give up his friendship, YES YOU CAN, you existed quite nicely before him and you have a great guy after him. Tell him to buzz off, he was intimate with you when you LOVED him and he used you for sex....wise up dear. Focus on that.....he didn't have to kill the relationship...he could have told you he loved you...he chose not too, he chose to hurt you now he has to give up the friendship, its just the way it is!
Rephrase it in your mind, YOU ARE OVER HIM, YOU DON'T NEED HIM!
2007-01-05 11:59:48 · answer #6 · answered by WitchTwo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your ex doesn't have to give you any space. You're old enough to claim your own space. Stop making excuses for being a fool.
2007-01-05 11:57:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're just going to have to try to avoid being around your ex so often.
2007-01-05 11:56:21 · answer #8 · answered by funnygrrl19 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
umm well stop hanging around your ex!!!duhh
2007-01-05 11:59:19 · answer #9 · answered by little_attractive_kitty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋