My son refuses going to school at times, he is in the fourth std., quite intelligent but very fussy at times?

Question

His teacher is quite good, infact she encourages him by making him explain sums on the board to the class and at times praises him for being intelligent too, still he fusses going to school at times, could someone guide me to handle this matter please. He says he wishes to change the school, coz the standard of education is high in this school, and he wants to go to a low standard school. He is studying in an ICSE school, but still does quite well, he does not sit to study daily, he studies only during exams for two hours and still manages to get 85 to 90%, but this time he has gone down too low as around 75%, which according to me is too bad. If any Psychiatrist could guide me with the treatment he needs. Please soon.

He is fond of reading story books and books boosting general knowledge, he gets enough time to play and read books

If he is insisted on going to school and dropped at school on the day he does not wish to go to, he comes back home all the way walking a distance which takes more than half an hour to walk it up

Answer 1

sir being a student is very hard . maybe he has some problem
with his classmates or seniors . he could even be ancomfortable
with his teachers because they would beat him or someting .still
i find your child very bright . sir you better teach him with patience and listen to every copliment or camplain he makes and please act upon it .i am sure he would do better .

Answer 2

I'm not a psychiatrist, but the teacher singling him out for praise in front of the whole class sounds like a way to make him really unpopular. Have you asked him whether he is being bullied at school? If he is, that could be a reason why he wants to avoid going. Tell him he can talk to you without you storming straight down to the school without his permission.

If so, a lot of modern books talk utter politically correct nonsense about how to deal with bullying, such as reporting the bully, creating a behaviour agreement for the bully, etc. This will just get him a good kicking from a whole gang.

The solution is really down to the person being bullied. Being a conventional well-behaved swot doesn't make you popular. Fitting in with the other kids, not showing off, not disrespecting other kids, and being a bit of a rebel against the teachers does make you popular. By all means read some books or articles about bullying, but ask the school-kids on here whether the advice is any good.

His study method of cramming before exams may work for school exams, but could let him down later. Ask on here about good study methods. Get an overview of the sylabus each year/term and buy a few study guide books for each subject on Amazon, etc. Also a book on study technique. A small amount of cash spent now on books could help him achieve much better grades later, get him a better job and add thousands to his annual salary.

Are you sure you're not being 'pushy parents'? Let him have some fun too, as well as studying. Encourage him to try some new hobbies and interests. It might reduce any stress that he has at the moment.

Answer 3

Hi, Haroonmot. The school is fine, the teacher is good, the standard of education there is high and the boy also is intelligent. But your judgment is that the boy desires to move to other school where the standard of education is lower. No, please do not shift him from this school. Instead, try to find out the exact reason for his aversion towards this school. My conclusion is that he is not having friends of his choice. Request his teacher to see that he gets the company of good friends in the class. You invite his classmates to his birthday celebration or on any such occasion. If he is your lonely child, naturally sociability is found to be insufficient and the attitude of possessiveness would be higher. You advise him to continue in the same school for another one or year so that by that time, he would be all right. In addition to the school studies, try to engage him in other co-curricular and extra-curricular activities. During the holidays, you take him to places of geographical and entertaining interest. Good luck!

Answer 4

I think I understand. I have a 15 yr old and in the 10th grade. She feels like she wants to quit or change schools because her school has high standers, from a school in the next town, they dont. However if your child has a learning dissiblity, what I mean by that is hard time in something,You say he cannot sit still ,could have ADHD? Have you talked to his Dr.? Adhd dose not mean the are slow,or do not understand, their brain moves too fast, I think. Talk to your Dr. I think it could be under control. Good luck.

Answer 5

Stop pandering him. Remember you are the parent and he does what YOU say. There should be no room for "refusing" to go to school, or wanting to make these sorts of decisions. It sounds to me like that is a major part of your problem, you are not forceful enough with him and he knows he can get away with not doing work, not studying, and not going to school.

Answer 6

basically, i ve a smal bro who is of the same type! newaz i thnk that he should be made to realize that he is the perfect boy, a born leader, hardcore einstein! making him feel the bliss of being at the top will make him feel good, he wil ultimately stop being fussy!

Answer 7

You have to be patient with him. Maybe he needs a more caring environment where he can be loved more. A psychologist is what you need not a psychiatrist.

Answer 8

Your son might be getting bullied.You better look into it.

Answer 9

don't tell him to go to school
don't forve him to do..

Answer 10

just let him do wat he wants