What are some ideas to get my 4 yr old to go to bed and stay in bed?

Question

I am finding it hard to keep my daughter in bed. I put her to bed at about 8pm, I read her a couple of books and we say our prayers and I tuck her in, but she is constantly calling me and saying that she has a question, or she is thirsty. I have tried to ignore her after the 2nd time she has called me, but she just gets up and comes into the den where I am. And just when I think she is asleep, she will call me again. Does anyone have any suggestions? Any and all will be greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

OK..this is what i did with my son when he was about the same age. We broke out the calendar and we started out in small increments (3days or so). If 3 days of happy faces then that next time he could pick ONE special thing to do with me that day/night and we'd HAVE to do it (within reason of course)...then it went to a week and then two weeks...within 6 weeks I had no more issues. BUT...since it was so fun we have continued to have our DATE days/nights when we get together at least every other week (usually more) and do something fun together..just the two of us usually (but does NOT have to be that..can be whatever the child chooses) and he is now almost 19 and living on his own :) good luck... a sippy cup may help but then she may say bathroom so don't usually do fluids an hour before bed. She will have fun and so will you!!

Answer 2

I have a 4 year old cousin who does the same thing with me sometimes. I honestly think its a habit. You should continue doing what u do with you child as far as tucking her in and saying prayers and reading to her, but try leaving a glass of water in her room by her bed. so she doesn't have a reason to call u. also, u can tell her to go to sleep in a strict way. i mean, don't be mean or anything but don't fall into it either. like if she keeps calling u, don't answer cause u know its not important. and if she gets up tell her she has to stay in bed and if she doesn't u will give her a time out in the morning. if she does it again then give her a time out the next morning to let her know u mean business. it may seem hard and harsh, but its really not. u have to break this habit cause if u don't she will continue to do it and it will eventually get worse.

Answer 3

Hi. As harsh as it sounds you are doing the right thing ignoring her. Keep at it. If she gets out of bed and comes to you, take her back to her room and firmly tell her she has to stay in bed. Don't read her and extra book if she asks because she will just try that trick everytime. If she gets out of bed again take her back but this time completly ignore her, no talking or no eye contact - nothing, keep repeating this step until she stays in bed. It will probably cause a bit of crying for a few nights but by the end of the week she should stay in bed.
As for her saying she's thirsty, keep a cup of water by her bedside for the night that is plenty for the night.
Another idea ia to make a sticker chart, explain to her if she stays in bed she gets a sticker, and tell her when she gets 7 stickers on the run - 1 for every night or the week that she will get a treat - thats your choice what you treat her to.
I know it might be hard for a week but it WILL work . Stay strong . and all the best .

Answer 4

The routine is Great, kids NEED AND THRIVE on routine!
Do not let her take naps during the day, make sure she is fed well and full an hour before bed, and make it a FACT that she is only allowed ONE drink one hour before bed. If she doesn't take it, she lose it!
She sounds very strong willed; your will HAS TO BE STRONGER!
Let her know who is boss and establish " She HAS TO listen and obey mommy. She DOES NOT have a choice!"

I still firmly believe in spanking W/ LOGIC AND LOVE! She already knows that if she calls you or gets up that NOTHING WILL happen to her!! Keep ignoring her and simply putting her back will only establish what she already knows, which is her routine. Keep doing that, she will learn she can't get what she wants and it'll take a few weeks. Spank her the first time, she will learn that she has to listen and obey mommy, mommy is the boss and she is not allowed to do whatever she wants and it'll take a few days.

Some kids are too sensitive to spanking, so you have to decide what is best for you and your daughter. But both approaches will work. Also, just be patient. You said you say your prayers so I am assuming you are a God Fearing woman; you can let your daughter know what God says and that is: her only job is to obey God by obey mommy. Plain and simple.

Good luck and good sleep

Answer 5

Keep the routine, be firm and tell her after the second time that this is the last. I read the boy who called wolf to my children to stress that they can't call willy nilly.. Kids like routine. If they have a fear, monsters under the bed for instance take a flashlight and look under the bed with the child and stress that it would have to be a very small monster to fit under the bed, same with the closet.
Tell her bed time means bed time and if it happens again she gets a privilege taken away the next day. I have had five children and

1. Be firm
2. Be consistent, or they will walk all over you.
3. Be loving, reassuring, that if it is a really big thing , you will deal with it.
4. Be there in the morning with a smile and a hug.

Answer 6

Have your daughter very active durning the day, playing and keeping busy so that at bed time she will be tired. Also giving her a warm bath before bed using the children's lavender bedtime soap will help to relax her and she will be sleepy. I think the real reason she constantly calls you is she is testing you, and wants your attention, your the parent talk to you daughter and let her know the rules that bedtime is bedtime. Give her consequences, and also reward her for her good behavior, setting up a chart with stars and after receiving so many stars she can be rewarded. Making this very positive for both of you. Also, a night light in her room, and some relaxing bed time music helps.Best Wishes and Happy New Year!

Answer 7

I have 4 little ones. 2, 3, 3, and 4 years old. They all do the same. There's always someone who has to go potty or tell me something. I considered taking TV away the day after they stayed up, but decided punishment was a little unneccesary for something so small.

So instead, there is absolutely no TV at least an hour before bed. They can play until 7:15ish, then the toys get put away. At 7:30 they get pj's on and brush their teeth, then we sit and read a story or listen to calming music. I suggest you read to her in a rocking chair in another room. It's hard to read in their bedroom and then walk out. You're leaving, so she wants to also. After reading, walking her to her room sets a definite timeline for bed. There's no gray area between. If you talk to her about 10 minutes or so, about all her questions, then read 15-20 minutes, that gets you to 8 o'clock. But talk before reading. If you start a conversation right before bed, you're just stimulating her and spurring her on.

On difficult nights after everyone's tucked in and had their drink (they only get a couple sips thanks to potty training the youngest two) and after Mommy's had her kiss, I will turn the light off and stand by the door and sing a lullaby. But ONLY if they've been good about getting pj's on and listening and getting into bed. I tend to sing the same song over and over for 4 or 5 minutes. I sing Brahms lullaby, then hum it through, then sing it, cycling through. Works like a charm

Answer 8

Make a sleep chart and discuss with her how you will use it. Make 5 columns & 5 rows. Make the fifth column with a colored background. Every night that she is a good rester (no getting out of bed except to use the bathroom, no hollering to you from down the hall, rests quietly in her room) she gets a sticker in the morning. When she gets 5 stickers (the colored column) she gets a prize (something small, we use matchbox cars for our son-they're only like $1.00). Then you move down to the next row and do the same thing. When she has filled all 25 spaces on the chart you get her something special that she really, really wants. It seems like you will spend a ton of money, but since they aren't always good resters it can take forever to fill the chart. If they know they get that toy they want at the end they will try hard. You need to keep reminding her though. If she doesn't get a sticker the next morning explain to her why she didn't, but that you know she can try again tonight because she is such a good rester. (Keep it positive).

Answer 9

When my kids were at that stage, I made it very clear what my expectations were before I left. I told them that I'd get them ready, read them a story, say a prayer, then when I left, that was it, it was time to sleep. I'd remind them just before I left the room.

I would do the same thing you did--ignore calls. If the child came out, I'd simply guide him/her back to bed. This didn't happen much, though, because my expectations were very clear from the get-go. With your daughter, I'd make it clear what the expectations were--that any questions have to wait until morning and you'd love to listen to them then; that she is not to call you for anything, and that you won't answer, and she is not to come out of her room.

Also, although asking for water is a common stall tactic, you might avoid that temptation for her to ask all together by having one of those sippy bottles in her bed. The ones that come with a built-in straw and you flip up part of it to drink. That way she has some water if she needs it and doesn't have to pretend that she needs it.

Another thought: if this is a recent thing and does continue despite clear expectations and consistent follow-through, consider talking to her about why she doesn't want to be in bed. She may be going through a 'monster' phase or afraid of having bad dreams or other things. My kids went periodically through those phases and it meant being sensitive and not doing what I would normally do. It might mean staying an extra 5 minutes in the dark--provided they didn't say a word, getting a decent nightlight, finding the right stuffed animal, making up stories that made them feel powerful, things like that.

Answer 10

I would just keep being firm and consistent with what you're already doing. Every time she comes out, take her back to bed and tuck her in again. Just don't give in to her attempts to get your attention or get out of the bed. One thing I had to do for a while, was lay in the bed with my daughter (when she was 4) until she fell asleep. It was quite a pain but she was in the habit of falling asleep on the couch when I worked a 2nd shift job and when I started working days, I had to break the habit started by her father. Eventually, she grew out of it and started going to bed on her own with no problem. I could have just put her to bed and let her cry herself to sleep but I just don't think my nerves could handle that.

Getting her good and wore out during the day ( as suggested by someone else) is an excellent idea too.

Answer 11

Just don't give in and follow through. She is winning is some sort of way which is why she is still doing it. Make sure she knows the ground rules and is prepared. Tell her exactly how it's going to happen. She is going to have a drink, and brush her teeth, then you are going to read her a book and then she is going to go potty and go to bed by herself like a big girl. No more drinks no more books. If she gets up don't have a conversation off the subject of going to bed. Just put her back to bed and leave. Don't extend your stay. Don't let her sit on your lap in the den. Don't give her anything to cling onto. When she sleeps in her own bed for the night make a big deal out of it and praise her praise her praise her! But don't bribe her to do what she is supposed to do.