Okay, I'm dating this guy. When we go out, everything is amazing. He holds doors open for me, he pays for everything, we always have a great time together, we have incredible sex, we talk for hours and then he likes to hold me, just sleeping, until we both have to rush off to work at 5:00 in the morning. He makes sure that I call him when I get home. Here's the problem. In between dates, I don't hear from him for like 5-9 days. It's rare that I call him but he doesn't call me until he's ready to set up the next date. If I do call him, I get his voice mail and he still doesn't call back until he has an actual day to go out. Okay, he does work two full time jobs and is in the military. On top of that, he separated from his wife (yes, I'm sure he's not still seeing her and yes, it was before I met him) and goes to see his daughter every afternoon in between jobs. On our last date, I told him I just needed a 5 minute phone call, twice a week. Said he'd call yesterday and didn't. What's up?
2007-01-05 03:20:43 · 14 answers · asked by answergrrl3 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
breathe girl!...give him some space...he has a lot on his plate...sounds like a good dude that is just overwhelmed right now...plus a lot of us fellas HATE talking on the phone although we may be great communicators in person.....relax enjoy your time together...take it slow and see what happens..do not rush him or push....let him choose you AGAIN AND AGAIN....pressure him and you will lose him...I promise
2007-01-05 03:33:43 · answer #1 · answered by Tikcus 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
From the sounds of it hes just busy, most guys wouldnt go through all the trouble of "He holds doors open for me, he pays for everything, we always have a great time together, we have incredible sex, we talk for hours and then he likes to hold me, just sleeping, until we both have to rush off to work at 5:00 in the morning. He makes sure that I call him when I get home" .....unless they really like a girl...so I'd say hes probably just busy....Try asking him why he didnt call, you know him better than us, if he gives you a reason that you beleive everythings fine. Just do yourself a favor and dont go taking anybody elses advice without thinking about it first
2007-01-05 11:24:26 · answer #2 · answered by Adam 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I think you may be worrying a little too much. It is understandable to desire more attention, but he is extremely busy. He's very much into you if he does all of those nice things that you describe. A guy wouldn't waste his time with that if you were just a booty call. Next time you are out with him I would try to discuss how you feel about your situation. You say that you talk for hours, so talk about the fact that you'd like an extra call every now and then. Good luck!
2007-01-05 11:28:15 · answer #3 · answered by Back in the game... 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
From what you describe it doesn't seem like he has any malicious intent to screw with your emotions or anything. He's busy, pre-occupied with a lot of other things on his plate.
But clearly, he sees you as a diversion or a stress-reliever and nothing more. If he's serious about his relationship with you, he'd do a few things. He should be, even if it is for a few seconds, return your calls to let you know that he's busy but has gotten your messages. He should be able to take one day in a week to choose to meet you, instead of visiting with his daughter.
He also should choose to have a serious conversation on where he is with the relationship with you, show concern and empathy to your feelings, etc. I'm not saying he's just in it for the sex. He probably sees you as a pleasant distraction at best. I know that sounds a bit harsh. But, that's how I see it from what you've told us.
It's about you now. You'll have to either make adjustment to your expectations. You'll have to think for yourself if this is what you want in a relationship with him. If you'll be willing to let his "baggage" weigh down on you. If you are comfortable with it, just continue to have fun. Else, you'll have to have a serious, yet nice, conversation with him to sort things out. Good luck :-)
2007-01-05 11:39:59 · answer #4 · answered by houstonian352000 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I just read that book...lol. Not by choice...a friend made me, and I found it pretty amusing, especially since none of the stuff talked about applied to me and my guy. On the surface it would seem that he's just not that into you since it's sometimes over a week in between phone calls, but then again 2 full time jobs plus being in the military can put a hamper on anything. I'm gonna say let him go, just because if he were as into you as it sounds you are into him, he'd even call, knowing he might get your voicemail or whatever, just to say hi.
2007-01-05 11:25:40 · answer #5 · answered by Cheyenne 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Being that busy, it's not always easy to juggle your personal and professional lives. Sounds like he is in to you but just has too much on his plate so the personal life suffers. Just let him know you care and that you will be there. Things will work out.
Oh yeah, if it were just sex, he wouldn't want to hold you afterwards, he would fall asleep or be out the door quickly.
2007-01-05 11:23:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
I don't mean to sound like a prude here, but maybe you gave up the sex too soon. You probably turned yourself into a booty call.
Edit: I noticed that my answer is getting a few thumbs down so I thought I'd add to it. This woman is only asking for 2 calls a week. I've been in quite a few relationships and I can honestly say, as busy as I may have been, I've never been too busy to call someone that I am intimate with. At the very least, this man is inconsiderate. Sorry if you can't handle the truth.
2007-01-05 11:23:33 · answer #7 · answered by iblockidiots 2 · 1⤊ 5⤋
we are in complete the same condition. the guy whom i like so much, would never contact me unless he wants to hang out some certain day, which made me frustrated. but when we are together, he is so nice and cute. The difference between us is i never contact him, and never let him know how much i miss him,and never ask for any promise from him ,because i dont want to give him any pressure which almost drive me insane.
2007-01-05 11:43:42 · answer #8 · answered by veronica.miller 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He's just VERY busy is sounds like and you shouldn't give him a hard time about it. If you have a really good reason to suspect something is going on, like some actual evidence, then you should talk to him about it but otherwise, please just try to be understanding and supportive of him.
2007-01-05 11:25:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
buy the book he's just not that into you and read it! Why in the world would you even want to be with someone that doesn't care about you? Maybe low self esteem. And no matter what dont ever lets to his sorry excuses! He should have got u when he had the chance
2007-01-05 11:25:54 · answer #10 · answered by laura k 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋