I am divorced, 34 and have a child. As a single mother with a full time job it's difficult sometimes to find time for myself and private outings with my boyfriend. He is 31, never married and perfectly healthy. He swears he is sooo atracted to me and he loves me. The problem is sometimes we plan to spend the night together, I arrange for my mother to babysit, we get a hotel room, I get nice lingerie, we drink wine and have a nice conversation and when I try to initiate some contact he withdraws and say he wants to go to sleep. I have tried to be helpful, talk about it, insist a little, get upset, ignore him, be playful, etc... but when he says no it's no. Don't get me wrong we get busy sometimes but it is when he wants and I think I want more frequently than him. Is it a bad thing? Should I end this 2 years relationship? Maybe we are not good together, I don't want to go down once every two weeks for the rest of my life. Any suggestions?
2007-01-05 03:14:22 · 6 answers · asked by myOHmy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think you should have an open conversation with him. If you dont think he can tolerate it, try having a psychologist present. That being said, the situation you described puta a lot of pressure on him and makes the whole purpose of the evening sex. Try to be more spontaneous...if the kids are asleep and you are home, pop out naked in front of the tv, or whwnever you can sneak a quickie in without much planning try that. He will feel less pressure that way. Good luck :)
2007-01-05 03:20:05 · answer #1 · answered by brazilian76 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like there's some sexual incompatilibility there. Find out what the issue is. Is it performance anxeity, boredom, or something else that can be fixed.
Since you're in a hotel room, put on an adult movie. That may get the juices flowing. Have sex before dinner. Sex with a 12oz steak weighing you down, isn't always fun. Wear a wig, do some roll playing.
There are a lot of things you can do, and I understand that you've been with him for a while so you trust him. Talk to him, let him know how important sex is to you, and that you need the frequency. Otherwise, perhaps it's time to move on with someone more your speed.
2007-01-05 03:24:12 · answer #2 · answered by -J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you should talk with him and find out if its him or if what you do turns him off in any way or either ask him what it is that he would like from you. Just as well as we, us women have our certain turn ons and turn offs men do too. So maybe you should try doing things differently, maybe a different atmosphere. Take him outside in the back yard one night, maybe even in the kitchen, try doing something strange for once. Let your imagination run wild and go for it.
2007-01-05 03:26:12 · answer #3 · answered by twelve_play_xxx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Younger than you and doesn't have *** drive as much as you have?? Thatz a recipe for disaster..... you will not be happy and keep craving for it all the time ..... which will not allow you to think positively and do things rite... It is time for you to talk to him and see if the situation improves if not it is time to move on.... Life is short and you need to enjoy everybit of it.... and having more *** drive is not a bad thing but it is good n healthy! :) good luck!
2007-01-05 03:30:48 · answer #4 · answered by madhusv2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly he might be a good candidate for HRT (hormone replacement therapy)
His body might not be producing enough testosterone which is lowering his libido.
I would first sit down with him and see why his drive is much lower than yours and go from there
2007-01-05 03:19:00 · answer #5 · answered by Mike 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he should consult with his Doctor and have a testosterone level check. If it is low, it might explain his current activity level. If that's not it, then it's in his head and you might not be able to change him. Good Luck!
2007-01-05 03:22:19 · answer #6 · answered by rilindy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋