Fighting Siblings?

Question

I have a an 11 year old daughter and a 12 year old son. They fight ALL the time. It seems to be some sort of power struggle. I am a single mom and don't know how to best handle it. Do I stay out of it and let them handle it? Being a referee gets very emotionally exhausting. They yell at eachother and call eachother names quite frequently. What do I do? they are supposed to love eachother, not hate.

Answer 1

Do NOT force them to love each other.. This takes time and cannot be done in the heat of conflict. You need to talk to them objectively, clarify any ambiguities that may be resulting in this conflict. The key is for you to REALLY seem impartial and objective (practice with your tone of voice and choice of words). Don't make the situation look like it's a World War - it may worry them and can back fire. Nonchalantly sit with them and pretend to be an impartial observer - and figure out the issue. Tell them that fighting is normal - and if they insult each other perhaps they can find adjectives that are more descriptive (i.e. instead of saying "stupid sis" they can say "I have grounds to believe you may lack competence in some areas." Teach them to constructively and articulately "insult" one another and also for them to learn from these criticisms. Growing pains can be growing gains...if addressed properly.

Answer 2

I and my "Bonny" little brother have grown up with relaxing-fights (never ever severe), by using the years and nevertheless have relaxing recollecting those formative years thoughts. we've got grown and those fights are out of question, yet there is not any end to the happy moments, which purely 2 siblings can share. BQ: I extremely have purely a million youthful brother and he's extra efficient than each and all of the riches interior the finished international to me.

Answer 3

I honestly don't know how to get your kids, or mine, to stop fighting all the time. Remembering back to my time growing up, my siblings and I fought all the time. There are some good suggestions from the other answerers for books on getting along so I will just add this one thing: teach them how to fight reasonably. It will be a useful skill later in life. Don't necessarily punish them for arguing, but also don't allow name calling or excessive yelling. Insist that they tell eachother their complaints in a semi-normal voice (normal will be impossible for years to come, I think). We do this with our kids and they still go at it - but at least it is reduced to bickering, which while still annoying, is less awful than listening to screaming and name-calling.

Finally, don't referee. You will wear yourself. If they are like my kids, the arguing doesn't bother them nearly as much as it does you. Hang in there!

Answer 4

Try not to compare them as that can create more problems.

Insist that everyone in the family treat everyone else with respect.

Try to get them to work out their own differences. They need to come up with problem solving skills and learn to negotiate and work things out. If they come to you, tell them they need to work it out on their own unless someone is bleeding or something is broken.

Read the book "Siblings Without Rivalry" by Faber & Mazlish.

Answer 5

Aaahhhh? Why do kids go ape sometimes, why do I think, my kid is the boss? Have I lost control of my kids, where can I get help, what is my Childs destiny?Discipline and Communication with children, to children's bedtime story books, children's books for children to read, and books for parents to read to Children, books on discipline, the how to, and the how not’s, Click on the link below, and good luck

Answer 6

seat them both on a chair or on their knees against the wall for about an hour..and if they star talking raised them the time...it really worked for me and brother.