Why are there so many adults who care so much about what other people think about the choices that they make..

Question

Isn't it time to worry more about you and whats good for YOUR families health and wellbeing then being concerned about what sally jo thinks of the way you are raising your kids? Of course everybody is going to have an opinion, who doesn't...but who says you have to tailor your parenting skills around what others think, isn't that a waste of time?

LMAO...i am a kid because I feel people are too worried about what everyone else thinks...that makes alot of sense!

I refuse to live my parenting years cowering under the table afraid that someone is going to call CPS on me. i do not spank, and I would have no reason to fear my children being taken away from me. I am more asking about the people who give unsolicited advice and commentary on other peoples children.

Answer 1

This is so true. I know a vegan couple who get a lot of bad reamrks (HOW RUDE OF THOSE PEOPLE - I"VE SEEN it happen at restauarants) for rearing their children in the lifestyle. YOu CAN get complete protein by being vegan, and you tend to be a bit healthier too. Also, parents who chide other parents for letting kids go barefoot, or for that matter people chiding adults for going barefoot. You're right though, we shouldn't care about the busybodies.

Answer 2

I think parents just want to see what other parents are doing so they can try it. it's the whole trial and error theory.

I worked in day cares and it's insane how the parents judge their children to the others.

One little girl couldn't get her mitts on and the mother said "well you should be able to do it, the other kids are doing it"
so instead of high fiving her kid for doing up the zipper of her jacket she upset the child for not being able to put on mitts.

Parents need to understand that every child is different, everyone raises their children differently and every child comes from a different home. It makes a big difference and you cannot expect all children to be the same.

I do not have children, I'll tell you that right now. However when I do have a family and someone thinks I'm doing something really well or really horribly with my child I'd appreciate them telling me so I can either keep it up or try something else that could work.

I don't at all think it's a waste of time...I think it works most of the time.

Answer 3

I am a mom of seven and I think my husband and I have done well so far in the way we have raised them. At the end of the day what we do with our kids with regard to punishment, education, lovw,money etc is ultimately decided by us alone.
However there are times when parents naturally question their own instincts and methods(nobody is perfect),for that reason it is comforting and reassuring to seek advise from family and friends and perhaps more valuably from anonymous strangers,such advise we receive here on answers.
Its not that we will be judged or manipulated by these opinions but they will perhaps paly an objective role in the way in which we parent. Nobody should ever be afraid to consult or ask questions, doing so will make us better well rounded parents.

Answer 4

I think there are a couple of reasons, partly depending on the age of the child. When my son was little and he threw a tantrum in public, I was self-conscious about the attention he attracted and I often was aware that others would think I should be more firm or more nurturing in my respeonse to him.

For older kids, sometimes it's just a way for a parent to express an instinctive reaction without having to be too specific. Twice young girls I knew when I was single had relationships with older men. I said "It just doesn't look right." Both denied any sexual relationship, and it's possible in both cases that the particular girl didn't have a sexual relationship with the man, but both men were later arrested for having sex with kids.

So maybe your parents are referring to traditional values by saying "What would the neighbors think?" They may have a hard time expressing their specific objection to a situation, but the nagging feeling remains.

Answer 5

Three letters: CPS. If you don't care, chances someone else will and you will lose your children for spanking them in public. A better question is: why is it anyone else's business how I raise my kids if they are not bruised and are polite and play well with other kids?

Answer 6

Mabye some people like to consider more when thinking about their lives. But on the other hand I agree that too often people worry about what other people think needlessly. And with the global information era that modern society lives in quickly do people like to give their two cents.

Answer 7

The older they are, the more opinions they like to gather. Coz they lack of self-confident. They like to know how many opinion are the same as what they already have in the heart. They are not really care abt other people think. their main purpose is to compare.

Answer 8

Because there are a lot of adults who aren't grown up fully yet ... they don't know what they value, so they can't make decisions on their own and so they look to others for approval.

Answer 9

There is nothing wrong with getting the opinion of others if you are not sure of something.
Just because you get someone's opinion doesn't mean that you have to do whatever it was they said. That decision is yours alone to make.

Answer 10

"Who is John Galt?" Ayn Rand wrote Atlas Shrugged. Look it up on search for an answer to your question. My personal view is that everybody seeks acceptance which is closely linked to survival if you think about it?: We are all here to survive, if you have read any of Ron L. Hubbards material ;he states that is our main objective for being here.