Ok, when I was a kid, about 5, a very close family member did something to me, it's always bothered me, but I don't have the guts to confront him about it. It's been years and I just can't get it out of my head. I've told 2 people in my life about it. I thought that would help, but I'm starting to think that I need to confront him, I mean the person who did it. I don't know what to do?? Somebody, anybody have advice?
2007-01-05 03:06:45 · 18 answers · asked by LivingMyLife 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It's hard but it sounds like you'd feel better if you just confronted him, a huge weight will probably be lifted off of you. Don't live with this hanging over your head. Good luck!
2007-01-05 03:09:08 · answer #1 · answered by Vena cava 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There should never be any reason for a 5 year old to go through what you did, whatever it may be. Just the fact of knowing how much this affects you, it must be something you NEED to let go of.
If you feel as though you can not get past the issue of bringing it up with this person, then you know what you must do. You have to prepare yourself for many possible outcomes of the confrontation. Don't make it into a bigger deal than it already is. Try to explain how you feel about what happened and that you need him to apologize for putting you through it.
What is it that you are hoping to get out of this? Are you trying to figure out his feelings about the incident...want an apology (which u definitely deserve!)...want him to be ashamed of his actions?
You must be very direct in your approach and make sure he understands you so that you get exactly what you want out of the confrontation.
I hope you get some closure. Be strong and try to leave the past behind you because you have a long future ahead of you. Life is what you make it so stop living in the past...even as bad as it is.
2007-01-12 16:21:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe you should see someone to examine what you think you will get out of this confrontation. Make sure you have a clear goal. Also should you choose to proceed and do it, you should be aware for the possibility this person will deny it, vilify you, and make you feel like you are a terrible person for doing it. Also, most likely be prepared to not have a relationship with this person again. That being said, I hope you find the healing you need whatever you decide to do. good luck :)
2007-01-05 11:09:44 · answer #3 · answered by brazilian76 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in your shoes, may I suggest going for some counseling before confronting him. You may need more help than just confronting him for what he did, and you will need a support system if this does not play out how you feel it should. I wish you the best
2007-01-05 11:09:46 · answer #4 · answered by jaws1013 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how old you are now.....If you are a teenager stay away it will not benefit you in anyway....He/She will deny it anyway. If you are an adult He will deny it.
I know that it's hard - but you need to leave it alone for your own health....Start talking to your family maybe you aren't the only one and then you can confront this person......Two is better than one. Good luck......Beware......I knew that my sister was touched by someone and I told the "grown-ups" and they didn't believe me or they believed and still did nothing. You will find out who the cowards are.....
2007-01-05 11:47:00 · answer #5 · answered by Been There Done That 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first things first, you need to get some help( counseling). these things are very emotional. This can haunt you for the rest of your life, with relationship,family, friends, etc. If you approach the family member you are risking of your family having to chose sides.I've experience a similar situation, and it destroyed my family.I'm not sure how old you are now. If you are under- age Yes! Tell. I know you will make the right choice.
2007-01-12 20:16:56 · answer #6 · answered by monch75 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not knowing what the real problem is , makes it hard to answer, so I will give it my best shot. I can tell you there is only one of whom you can allways trust,that is Jesus. But the next in line is or should be your Mother, and or your Dad. I would suggest you talk to them first. I you feel that you need to confront this person,it would be best to have a witness. Just remember you can allways put it in the hands of Jesus, he will help you. God Bless
2007-01-12 13:27:13 · answer #7 · answered by donalddhatfield 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, if I were you I would talk to a professional counselor. They would tell you if it's a good idea to confront him or not. Something bad happened before, and was never dealt with. You have to deal with it, and talking it over with someone who knows how to deal with this, is a good start. Chances are that if you confront him now, he'll deny it, and say you're a liar, or he could threaten you. Talk to a Therapist first. Please. Good luck, and God Bless.
2007-01-13 02:52:05 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to tell u tha truth mah dad and mah gpa both malested me and mah dad still does he beats and harresses me and all my friends he stalks everyone i love and tells them to leave me alone is pyhco. well i kept it to myself for sooo long well my mom knew bout it and didnt do anything about it well i went and hired mah own aterny and she did the investments for free because she is an abuse atrny and if child hire her she will dong cases for free and u know what shes been a BIG help i havent seen mah dad in 3 months!!
but im prob. gon have to see him soon. i think u should tell the law first before u tell another family memeber cuz they may not belive u and then they would accuse u of stuff. its better to conform the law first and have them tlk to ur parents. or parents will belive u in jus not care LIKE MAH MOM N STEPDAD they dont care at all. but besides the point i still dont tlk about this to anyone but my aterny i keep it buddled in side me as well and to tell u the truth i acually think its better to do that then let it out becaue i let it out and everyone confronts me about it all the time then u have a sicitrist <--wow how ever u spell that. they get involved and trust me they get all in ur bussiness and u dont want that its hell.
jus tell the law and hopefully they can get avidence and get the person who did sumthing to u jus hopeuflly its not to late
and good luck with everything!
2007-01-12 22:50:09 · answer #9 · answered by playgurl3615 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
something like that has happened to me twice- one was a female family member
another was in Wal-mart from a guy i didn't even know
im sorry i never thought it would happen to me but it did - after the guy was cought; i just prayed to forget it - but i couldn't -cause the guy got out of jail free and he did something worse to a 9 yr old little girl in the mall i feel terible and their is nothing i could do but pray
2007-01-12 10:21:51 · answer #10 · answered by Sora 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋