Why can't I get over HiM I miss him all the time?

Question

We were together 7 yrs on and off but this really is it, its been 4 months now with no contact he just cut me ouut of life with no explanation annd i cant go after him any more i know i should be pleased to be rid of someone like that but i'm heartbroken & I'm 34 so I should know better, words of wisdom PLEASE!!!!

Answer 1

obviously 7 years can't be forgotten about and you need closure. 4 months is about enough time though for you to start being proactive about healing. Some professional help may do some good - even if it just to talk about how you feel. Pros are good at offering advice on how to deal with you feelings and can give you some good coping mechanisms.
If he just shut you out after 7 years then it's better off you learned this now then later in life. You're 34 years old, which is a good age to be single again!! Think about how much worse your situation could be if he waited 10 years before leaving.
You have people that love you. Use this opportunity to build up a support network of friends and family. Have some fun, do that thing you have wanted to do but have been afraid to - no time like the present!!
Join a club or get a hobby - it will help you meet new people and take your mind off your worries and in time you'll get over your broken heart.
It doesn't matter how old you are, feeling heartbroken means you really cared about the relationship and gave it your all - good for you. That's the way we should all be in our relationships. Forget this nonsense of knowing better. Breaking up involves some heartache and unless you take time to feel that and properly deal with those feelings then you'll never really move past it.
So 4 months has past, time to pick yourself up, realize those 7 years weren't wasted because they taught you some good lessons and get on with living your new life!!

Answer 2

I know first hand how tough this is. Especially when he gave you no explanation or reasoning to leave. Obviously he isn't going to give you one so it is time to move on. The best way (I have found) to do this is to meet with your friends for dinner and drinks a few times a week, read good self help books, and try to pick up a new hobbie. I joined a Women's gym and that really helped. I met a lot of new Women and friends.

Answer 3

Just think of the scary and worst roller coaster ride you've ever been on is finally over. You can finally breathe now and you can let go of the handle bars. Your stomach is still in your chest. Now apply the analogy to what your going through. The tumultuous ups and downs through the seven years. You're hanging on wondering when the next break up is. Now that the ride is over, you can start thinking straight. walking afterward is hard. But you'll find your feet again.Do not think about it. Find a way to occupy your time so that you won't think about it. I think a night out with the gals is in order and maybe a shopping trip.

Answer 4

I feel for you. There is not much anyone can really say then to get on with your life. 7 years??? Wow, that's a long time to be on and off with someone. I'm sure that you have heard through the years that you need to move on and to meet someone who wanted a life with you rather then an on and off relationship. Only time will heal wounds but there will always be a scar. Spend lots of time with family and friends and get into interests that you have whether it's knitting, skiing, etc or take up an interest that you always wanted to do but never did.
You will meet someone else. Have an open mind and go out on dates and have fun. Get yourself out there...
Best of luck.

Answer 5

The heart never heals,it just forgets.That's what you have to do now.Stop dwelling on the past,its a new start for you so why waste time.Do abit of retail pherapy,get some new clothes,do your hair,ring your freinds up and have a good time.Maybe this was a blessing in disguise so why feel bad.Just tell yourself,he was an idiot anyway and you can do better than him,you'll soon forget.

Answer 6

First of all, you musn't be too harsh on yourself; 7 years is a long time, and you probably invest yourself all you could in this relationship.
It's never easy to get over a relationship, be it 3 months or 20 years.
If he did dump you with no explanation, it's all the more harder for you, understandably.
Give yourself sometime.
You're bound to meet someone who'll appreciate you.
Good luck. I'm confident you'll get there.xx

Answer 7

I'm sorry to hear that something fell apart after such a long time.....contrary to popular belief i will tell you this...it hurts its going to hurt and its going to hurt a lot more, then things will get better and you will start to forget him and then it will hurt all over again cause you realize you are losing him in your mind...so...instead of trying to stop this just realize that the pain is inevitable and do what you can to make it less....spend time with friends, do the things you didn't or maybe "couldn't" do before...travel, go out to new places meet new people...but above all DO NOT try to replace him with a new man right away cause that will only make things worse for you and bad for your new man...Good luck and know that you aren't alone with this one

Answer 8

I know how you feel. But maybe it's better this way. Do you really want to be with someone who would just cut you out of his life with no explanation after being together for 7 years?? That just shows how much he cared for you. I kinow it's going to be tough to move on, but I would try. Their may be another guy out their who will be a better match for you.

Answer 9

u cant get over him, becuz he didnt end it wiht u .. he didnt tell u y.. he just left.. u dont have answers... he's started someting without closing it.. do u get where im goign with this?

its simliar to me.. buh im younger and iw as with him for 4 years on and off.. and its weird cuz im in a 1 yr + relationship now, buh im always thinking of the other guy, and im always calling him, im in a different provience too and i styll want to be with him, even tho i know i cant..

there are no answers for it for me im just f*cked up.. buh for u .. its obvisous.. after being involved with u for so long how does he just leave with nuin to say? in ur mind and especially in ur heart becuz u've had to have feelings for him, u need to understand wat it is that make him leave, u proabbly beat urself up and shyt and u just ask urslf y ?.. y? u just want to kno y? and he didnt give u an answer..

u know knowing that u should be happy that he is gone is knowing someitng,.. buh u cant help the way u feel and he has a place in ur heart that jus doesnt go away.. so dont worry abotu thiinking how u SHOULD ffeel concentrate on the way u DO feel.. and work from there..

try going out ... meeting new guys.. get a rebouind.. i swear to god that helps.. talk on chat lines, fone chat and internet chat.... stuff that help u to pass ur time without him.. and dont make him the center of ur universe now or u will never get over him

Answer 10

The easiest thing I can suggest is think of all of his faults. Think of everytime he lied to you. Most of all think of what kind of man leaves a woman after 7 years without any explanation. Move on with your life and start dating, once you do you will realize this man wasnt all that wonderful to begin with.