why do women in church judge so quickly?

Question

I have noticed that if a women is single in church and happens to be divorced, other women treat her like she is some sort of whore. I am single and my ex is a dead beat father and husband we divorced because he wouldn't stop drinking and he did cheat. if I even smile at a man in church the women assume I am up to no good. It makes me not want to go to church if that is how they show you love. I get dirty looks all the time and I know I would not try to "steal" someone's man...any advice? I also notice that if I am around anyone's husband they will start talking about their marriage as if I am suppposed to pick up on thier hint that they are happy It makes me feel like the biggest sinner in the world because I am divorced and like I am some sort of failure

Answer 1

I hate to say this, because I am a Christian, but many people that go to church do it to maintain appearances and are hypocrits themselves. Somehow it's like they are trying to fool God by going to church, when inside they are rotten. Also this sounds a lot like the behavior you will see at a Catholic church. I was born and raised a Catholic, eventually I stopped going to their church because of this hypocritical attitude and their man-made scare tactics.

Find a non-denominational church based on the Word of God and His Love. You'll feel much more welcome and less judged.

Answer 2

I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time. Divorce is never easy.

I went through a similar experience with a man that sounds very much like your ex. Isn't it a shame when the people you thought were good Christians aren't supportive and judge you? They should know better.

The same thing happened at my church. There was no sympathy, people stared and ran their mouths.

It's a shame that at such a low time in your life you are judged by people that should know better It's hypocrisy. That comes from intolerance and ignorance.

How did I handle it? I questioned the reason I was attending church. For me, it was about learning about God. It was about having my spiritual cup filled, which I really needed at that point.

Don't worry about what the congregation thinks of you. Focus on what's important to you and why you personally attend church. Why waste time worrying about what they think? It really is a waste of time.

Have you tried talking to your pastor, minister about this? He may be able to offer you some advice.

Good luck!

Answer 3

I think you shouldn't read too much into what other people are thinking. Most of all... stop judging yourself... stop judging others... and stop thinking they are judging you.

Why worry when you can embrace life yourself? Something tells me you are concerned about your self image. It shouldn't be about that. If you want to be treated as a respectful adult... then treat people in that same manner.

My only advice to you is... being divorce does not mean you are a slut... a whore. I often wonder why is it that the majority of women use those words more often than men? I hear all these women calling other women sluts and whores and for what purpose? To put a negative label on someone else just because they're better?

For once... these ladies should just stop it! I mean it! But I'm not telling you to do so.

It may be hard getting out of a divorce... but it only takes a few steps to think more positively about your life. You are not a failure. I often hear women saying that to themselves... especially those who feel depressed or low about themselves.

Be confident. Be strong. Why waste time putting yourself down when you could enjoy doing a few things here and there? If you hate that church because of the people there then don't go there. Go to another one.

Answer 4

Don't allow someone to make you feel less about yourself because you are divorced. People tend to weight what "they" think is a bigger sin and what is a smaller sin. The bible say" all have sinned and come short of the glory of God" So keep your head up and if God(the creator of all) has forgiven you, let these women think what they want. And by their behavior this only shows their level of growth and maturity in Christ. If he can forgive the woman at the well who had five husbands, you with only and ex is in good shape.


Be Blessed in Christ

Answer 5

Because some church going people are hypocrites. Judge not yet he been judged, church today is more for show than religion. If you don't dress the best or have all the money you are on your own. You need to move to a redneck town where people respect each other and not what you have.

Answer 6

I know the feeling I have been there,its sad the way people treat Christan in the church, here what I did just don't look at them and do what the lord wants you to. If you want to say anything to them, tell them not to send there Cheating husbands to your door by making up lies about you.

Answer 7

It's called insecurity, they want to make sure that you're not setting your sights on their spouse. What they fail to realize is, theirs may not be up to par either.....I find that a lot of people who attend church regularly have some sort of superiority complex....they feel that they are better than others, which in the sight of God is a sin....and they tend to forget that it's not their place to say who's right or wrong or who has the right to do this or that.....I also have to say that they forget what it's like to be single and fresh out of a long-term relationship........a lot of the time, you just want to be left alone to deal with your situation......

Answer 8

I know what you mean, my father is a divorced minister. He divorce when he was 18 due to her cheating on him more than once. Now some churches won't even consider him for pastorate. He's married for 25 years and has kids! They still look down on him. I thinks its sad and all. What about all those that look down on you? You arent going to tell me they were snow white virgins when they got married. They would rather look down on someone who was married and having sex than on thermselves who were whoring themselves out before marriage. And you are no failure at all, don't put yourself down. You're Christ's child!

Answer 9

Don't worry what other people think, you go to church to worship God. Sometimes women can be ridiculously over protective of their "man". The other women might feel this way, because they are probably old and ugly and you're probably a looker, lol.

Good Luck.

Answer 10

women all of us is instructed to be quiet contained in the church because their husbands were practise Bible education. a similar is real if the spouse is the preacher, the husband must be quiet. this is not a disobedience of the Bible. The objective is to spread the strong information. we've a good number of strong characters contained in the Bible who were women human beings. even as the adult men do not stand to inform the strong information, the be conscious if Yahweh might want to bypass on and the girls human beings to steer.