The difference between men and women!!?

Question

DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man may put on shoes for weddings and funerals.

CATS

Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men throw things at cats.

ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

Yeah ok Khushi, i only wanted to tell a joke! No need to show off!!!!!!

Answer 1

liked that kate pity the other jokers didnt post theres instead of trying to spoil yours10/10

Answer 2

If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they
will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.

If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will
affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla,
Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

EATING OUT:

When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each
throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them
will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they
want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket
calculators.

MONEY:

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but
it's on sale.

BATHROOMS:

A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving
cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday
Inn.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom
is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these
items.

ARGUMENTS:

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new
argument.

CATS:

Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men
kick cats.

FUTURE:

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS:

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife
can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE:

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he
doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and
she does.

DRESSING UP:

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants,
empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the
mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL:

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING:

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She
knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends,
favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the
house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

Any married man should forget his mistakes.

There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Answer 3

God may have made man in his own image, but woman he definitely made from a do-it-yourself kit. All those valves, buttons, nozzles, all that just for producing children, and half the time they don't work. Which is why he probably created gynecologists very shortly afterwards. There must be an easier way. He got it right with birds. They just lay eggs. And they're happy. They sing all day. There's just too many things that can go wrong with women. And that's the point. Woman was an accident. He was actually trying to design a car. Which is why his German one turned out to be fast and efficient, his Japanese one small and neat, and his American one big, noisy, and more temperamental than all the others

Answer 4

You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are
+

actually either male or female.

Here are some examples:

FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you
Can see right through them.

PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off, it takes a
While to warm them up again.
They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are
pushed,but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.

TYRES: Tyres are male, because they go bald easily and are often over
inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go
Anywhere, you have to light a fire under their ****

SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and
Retain water.

WEB PAGES:
Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently
Getting hit on.

TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines
For picking up people.

EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight
shifts to the bottom.

HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed
At all and are occasionally handy to have around.

THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female.

: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be
Lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, He just keeps trying

Answer 5

ALSO:

A man spends as little time as possible in a shop. He sees what he wants, buys it. Then goes out.

A woman will spend an hour browsing round a shop and then go out without buying anything.

A women will follow the instructions of a cookery book to the letter.

A man will just chuck the ingredients in and hope for the best.

Perversely, the top chefs are mostly male!

Answer 6

The reason for all of this is because men are like waffles and women are like spaghetti.
Men live in compartments. One thing at a time and then move on.
Woman entertwine all aspects of their lives together.
When a man is watching TV, he is in his TV compartment and can't be held accountable for any thing he's says or promoises.
A woman can be involved in many things at once.

Answer 7

A woman marries man hoping that he will change, and he does not.
A man marries a woman hoping that she won't change, and she does.
Sigh.
I like cats. I had to show the woman across the hall how to care for hers. They were a mess, and constantly attacking one another. Now they get along.
She still way overfeeds them, but then she does that to herself, too.

Answer 8

i'm a woman.i hate cats.abt d sale part true for nearly all women except me i think.i go shopping only if i need to,sale or not.

Answer 9

Yea, i like the last one the most

Answer 10

Waking up.

Men(me)wake up throbbing,women wake up twitching(=