Was she playing mind games?

Question

A complicated situation. A friends with benefits relationship with 35 year old mother of 3 divorced with bipolar. She already had another friends with benefits relationship with another man who had been living with his girlfriend for 3 years.

The mind games were:-
1-Telling me she was having sex with a person she met in nightclub but did not tell the other man
2-Going on dating websites to find other men and not telling other man (I thought this was ok as at least she was trying to find someone more suitable)
3-Deciding she didn't want sex with me, didn't want to date and was happy with relationship with other man

I then informed the other man what she had been sleeping around (unacceptable i know but done in heat of moment)


Were these mind games acceptable? What would you have done in this situation?

Most people I have told have said she treated me like s**t, to forget about her although they said I should not of told the other man

Answer 1

You mentioned that she is bipolar, so maybe she did it because of her condition. Then again, if that was the case, I guess she was playing "mind" games. So yes, mind games.

Answer 2

Sounds like a player and a mind game player to me. Obviously she has a condition, but if she has any common sense then she should have been upfront with these people to start with instead of leading them on thinking that she was totally single. It is probably not a good idea that you see her anymore, she will get hurt one day by learning the hard way, as it seems she will not be willing to reason. I am sure you have done everything you can, and maybe moving on and not keeping contact with her will show her that she not going to keep many men around if she does not get herself straight and fly right. I think you did the right thing by telling the other man she was messing around on him, he probably never saw it coming. It is not acceptable to play mind games with people to start with especially since they are generous enough to want to hang out with you. So the answer to that would be no. Maybe if you knew who the other people were you could tell them if you feel they need to know which they do, or just wait until you are in a better position to let them know that she is not stable enough right to add anymore to the bunch and what she been doing and why. They will understand if it comes from someone that knows her well. She needs to make friends and stay away from the dating scene for awhile or atleast until she straights out what she needs to deal with

Answer 3

I too have been in a friends with benefits relationship for the past 8 yrs with the same man. He too at times thinks I treat him like sh*t. Your only telling us a sliver of the story here so its hard to determine what is going on. If you want to e-mail me with more details I'll try to help.

Answer 4

being Bipolar has nothing to do with what she did. what she did was rude and inconsiderate.She treated you like a yoyo. And as for telling the other man that was alittle chldish but then when youre mad sometimes those things happen. So dont swet the small stuff and ignore her calls.

Answer 5

it's not acceptable what she did to you. forget about her if you want a serious relationship and find someone that is honest and not just a "good time" sounds like you somewhat cared about her however sounds like she liked to play games. just rid yourself of her for the new year and find a good girl...

Answer 6

I think she is playing with you. Quite frankly she pimping you. I think you should leave you alone. You deserve so much better.

Answer 7

you were just a temporary fix for the time..... she wasnt getting what she wanted from whoever so she got you... t hen she started getting what she wanted from the other so she dumped you, you got used...