After a bad fight about a week ago my live in fiance told me she needed space. I apologized profusely but it just seemed to make her angrier. So I temporarily moved out.
She called me on Wednesday to talk about something trivial then let me know how hurt and angry and upset she was about the fight. She told me not to call her unless I needed something. She also said the dogs missed me. And when I told her I was looking for roommate she told me not to do anything till I talked to her.
When I asked what our status together or apart she said she didnt know. She said she wasn't going to see anyone else, but she didn't care what I did. She said why should it matter what our status was, and to just do whatever my conscience tells me to do.
After hearing her out I sent her an email to her work that she wouldnt get till next day, just apologizing and letting her know things could still be good between us, but I would leave it up to her to contact me.
How will things work out?
2007-01-05 01:09:10 · 18 answers · asked by Tunasandwich 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's hard to say not knowing either of your temperments. Sounds like what was said during this aruguement really hurt her. Maybe she's just sick and tired of the spats, I'm not sure. I would let her cool off and go from there.
2007-01-05 01:14:16 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay let me see if I can translate.
She told me not to call her unless I needed something= You better come up with a big emergency soon so that you can call me and let me know how much you need me.
She also said the dogs missed me= I miss you
And when I told her I was looking for roommate she told me not to do anything till I talked to her.= There is still hope I am just playing hard to get.
She said she wasn't going to see anyone else, but she didn't care what I did. She said why should it matter what our status was, and to just do whatever my conscience tells me to do.= If you even think about looking at someone else then you will completly blow everything out the window. Not to mention that you wont live to tell your story.
She is probably very hurt about the fight that you had and is just as confused as you are. She does not want to lose you but does not want to give in too easily either. she wants make sure that you never ever do what ever it was you did to make her so mad. She is trying to do what every woman tries to be in control of her life and feelings while trying to keep the man they love. Now I know is complicated but you have to ignore her enough to make her miss but not too much to her think that you dont care about her any more. And of course give her time she will come around.
2007-01-05 09:31:56 · answer #2 · answered by andia2amat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing by sending her an e-mail. It sounds like she just wants some space but does not want to lose you. She is having second thoughts about living alone or she would not have told you not to get a roommate. Without knowing what the fight was about, or more history, all I can suggest is to just give her a little more time. Let her know you are there for her but don't beg for her forgiveness, it sounds like you did enough of that already. Don't try to get her jealous to win her back by insinuating you are interested in someone else, most women don't fall for that, and those that do will just get more enraged. Good luck.
2007-01-05 09:24:13 · answer #3 · answered by Tiffany 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same thing. And there wasnt anything I could do to change it. I had to give her time and not push her. But I also had to show her I was dedicated to make it work. For example, going out with other girls to make her jealous is going to get you no where. So yeah, there really isnt anything you can do but wait and let her know you want her.
Another really good idea is to ask her how she feels and why. When she is answering that question, shut up and listen and dont start making excuses. Then let her know how you feel (feel being the key word here because woman act on feelings where as men act on thoughts) without bringing the blame on her. Then work it out.
ps - We worked it out in the end and now we're happily married. I pray you do the same.
2007-01-05 09:16:09 · answer #4 · answered by Piano Man 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depends on what the fight was about I suppose. Maybe she just wants to see if you take the advantage of "dating" someone else. If you truly love her you won't. She called you because she misses you. Her telling you the dogs missed you was her way of not having to tell you that she did. I would lay off for awhile. Don't call, don't email, nothing. See if she calls you again. If you absolutely need to call her, wait about a week. Let her stew things over. Whatever is meant to be will be.
2007-01-05 09:15:56 · answer #5 · answered by christylove7471 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's testing to see if you're going to run after other women. When a woman says they don't care if you see someone else....They're just throwing that out there to see what you're going to do. I suggest if you really love her, be patient and let her have her space without you giving her the idea that you're trying to get with another female on the sly. Let her know that if she needs you then you will be there for her.....But,Listen to me!!! DO NOT HOOK UP WITH ANOTHER FEMALE!!!!!!!!!!
If you will patiently wait and if she truly loves you, she will love you even more and she will see how much you truly love her, if you just be patient..She will come running back to you if you make yourself available to her when she's ready. I know it's hard and you might feel that you're getting played. But it's not about that, it's about you being faithful on your part. Don't let something you did be the reason and regret you two don't get married.
When you're patient with her without bugging her, she will begin calling you and missing you. Then you both can calmly communicate to each other.
God Bless
2007-01-05 09:24:48 · answer #6 · answered by unknown 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how things will work out but it's obvious you need the roomate or you would'nt be thinking bout that. You should wait a bit it's only been a week. You left the ball in her court. give yourself a time limit to be put on hold. then do what you need to for you. She sounds confused. Like I said do give it a bit of time, sometimes we need to breathe to figure stuff out, a week isn't enough to decide what's next. Once the anger and hurt has passed then she can clear her head.
2007-01-05 09:18:49 · answer #7 · answered by annette_642 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Must have been quite a fight. Maybe she just needs some space to get her head clear. If it was me (and not all women are the same) It would mean that I'm finished with the relationship, but afraid to completely severe the tie in case I change my mind or am just having a pyscotic episode. Good luck! You know your fiancee better than anyone on her does. or should.
2007-01-05 09:15:21 · answer #8 · answered by Kogetsu 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Must have hurt her feelings good.Some times words are hard to let go of.maybe you should think about the fight and figure out what you said that triggered the split because that is what you made it sound like.Rember you cant beat the dog then expect it to come running back .give her alittle space. then try and fix it.
2007-01-05 09:19:04 · answer #9 · answered by furby_lost 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She wants to know and feel that you really care. Send flowers to her work with a note saying... see you at home. She made it clear that she is not going to see anyone...and wants you to do the same but wants you to make that decision for yourself. This is your fiance...the love of your life man. Suck it up and do mending. She may not feel you love her. Woman are fickle. But you need to read between the lines. Do you really think the dogs miss you? That's her saying. "I miss you."
Good luck
2007-01-05 09:14:19 · answer #10 · answered by Midnightmaraude 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋